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Shia LaBeouf Wants You To Take Him Seriously
Being successful sure is nice, but what everybody really wants is to be taken seriously. Whether it's Woody Allen following up Annie Hall with the dour Interiors, George Michael turning away from the pop stardom of Faith for the confessional Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1, or Robin Williams decidin...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Does A Last-Place Team Really Need Beat Reporters?
The Mariners fly to Chicago today, 12 games back in their division, and five teams ahead of them in the wild card hunt. Despite a healthy winning streak, these last few weeks will likely be an exercise in playing out the string. But the Ms, and their fans, are bringing their hopes with them. Not tag...

First, Kill All The Cyclists. <em>Premium Rush</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's difficult to overstate how much I dislike bicycle riders in New York City. (Collectively. I'm sure you, individual who rides his/her bike, are perfectly pleasant and normal ... when you're not on your bike.) Bike riders have taken over this city, and they are, almost entirely across the boar...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. For a rebuttal, see Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's "Why Your Web...

Mike Birbiglia's <em>Sleepwalk With Me</em> And The Art (And Agony) Of Stand-Up Comedy
I'm in awe of stand-up comics....

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The <em>Football Outsiders Almanac 2012</em>
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12.50 or order the printed book from Amazon....

Batista Takes In An Ashlee Simpson Concert: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Green Bay Packers
Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Everyone Hates Preseason Football, Except The 9.5 Million People Who Watched Colts-Steelers: TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...

Bart Scott Says Prince Amukamara Should Be Hazed More
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rookies should probably stay away from Bart Scott....

Ask An Anonymous PR Guy About The Shady Work Of Being A Pro Athlete's Publicist
Gang, meet Anonymous PR Guy. Anonymous PR Guy, say hello to the gang. Anonymous PR Guy is an actual publicist for a handful of pro athletes, and in exchange for his anonymity, he's agreed to share a few stories with us about what his job is really like. We've always wondered, and now we know: He's a...

The Genius Of <em>Enemy Of The State</em>, Tony Scott's Best Film
In the reaction to the sudden death of Tony Scott, a quick consensus emerged: Scott was a more interesting director than he'd been given credit for throughout his career; Top Gun and his general style helped usher in the age of Michael Bay and Olivier Megaton-ism; and the one movie everyone could ag...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
![Michael Vick Injured Again, Knocked Out Of Preseason Game [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Michael Vick Injured Again, Knocked Out Of Preseason Game [UPDATE]
A week after being injured in the Eagles' first preseason game, Michael Vick once again made an early exit after suffering a massive hit from New England defensive end Jermaine Cunningham in the first quarter of tonight's game in Foxborough....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Jason Pierre-Paul Dumps Prince Amukamara Into An Ice Bath, Sports Writer Loses His Ever-Loving Mind
I wish I could tell you this video, that ProFootballTalk posted during the Giants thrashing of the Jets is cause for "concern" in the New York Giants "locker room." Nothing would make me happier than to sit here and pound out a paragraph that suggests the Giants are on the verge of a team meltdown...

Newcastle's First Goal On The Season Was This Curling Strike From Demba Ba
Demba Ba was slow to start his 2011-2012 campaign and then disappeared entirely from Newcastle United's scoresheet after the month of February. It deprived us glorious goals like this one he scored against Manchester United in February....

Your <em>Expendables 2</em> Power Rankings
The Expendables 2 has 11 names on its poster only because there is not room, either in poster space or running time, for 47. It is New Years Eve with testicles. It is the turducken of action movies. Rather than review the film, I thought I'd just rank those 11 names, in ascending order of Expendable...