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You Don't Know Me: On The Terrific And Unsettling <em>The Loneliest Planet</em>
I waste as much time on the web as anyone, but one thing I always avoid are those videos that careen around the internet that depict some poor schmoe being caught on camera doing something horribly embarrassing. I don't mind if local TV news reporters accidentally make fools of themselves—they signe...

Jay Cutler's Press Conference Was The Chicago Fox Affiliate's Presidential Debate Highlight
It was a busy night last night for WFLD, the Chicago Fox affiliate. Just after the station finished airing Game 7 of the NLCS, there was the Bears game and the presidential debate to go over. But what better debate highlight was there than a live shot of Jay Cutler's press conference? Cutler was r...

Guy Who Is Currently Playing Hockey In Siberia Calls Columbus, Ohio, "The Gloomiest" City
Nashville Predators winger Sergei Kostitsyn has been playing for Avangard Omsk—a KHL hockey team from Omsk, a Russian city located in Siberia—while he waits for the NHL to end its lockout. Don't feel bad for Kostitsyn though; he seems to be enjoying himself in Omsk. From Reuters:...

Sportswriters: Who's The Grossest Or Most Obnoxious Person You've Encountered In The Press Box? Share Your Stories.
Professional sportswriters love to tell you the rule about how there's no cheering in the press box. What they don't tell you is how many other forms of normal human behavior are also missing from the press box. Anyone who's ever picked up a sports media credential has discovered that it is a ticket...


Cypriot Soccer Match Interrupted By Exploding Flare Thrown At Injured Player
This was the scene Sunday during the Anorthosis Famagusta-Omonia Nicosia match in Nicosia, Cyprus. Ricardo Laborde, one of the Anorthosis forwards, was receiving medical treatment when the flare came flying from the stands and exploded right next to him and the medical personnel tending to him. So...

Players, Fans, Coaches And Everyone Else In Maple Grove, Minnesota Got Involved In This High School Soccer Brawl
Totino Grace and Prairie Seeds, two longtime rivals and high-ranking teams in the world of Minnesota high school soccer, came together last night to decide who would move on to the state tournament (it would be Prairie Seeds, which won the match 2-1), and also to whale on each other indiscriminate...

Dolphins Center Mike Pouncey's Newest Tattoo: Teardrop Andrew Jackson, Trollface Ulysses S. Grant, And Old West Bank Robber Ben Franklin
You have to admire the commitment to civic-mindedness, history, and patriotism, but that is one ugly tattoo. We do like giving Andrew Jackson the teardrop tattoo—a tattoo within a tattoo, probably symbolic of Old Hickory's involvement with the Indian Removal Act of 1830 that set in motion the Trail ...

The Monster Wore A Tank Top. <em>Paranormal Activity 4,</em> Reviewed.
1. Like Grierson, I'm a sucker for the Paranormal Activity films. I don't care that their stories don't make sense, that apparently there's some sort of mythology tying everything together behind them, that no one ever, ever turns that goddamned camera off. These movies work not as movies—they're ba...

Hines Ward Likes To Pay For Sex With Women, According To Man Charged With Trying To Extort Hines Ward
A man who claimed to have evidence that retired Steelers receiver Hines Ward has a thing for soliciting prostitutes was arrested on extortion charges Thursday in Pittsburgh. The man, Joshua Van Auker, allegedly texted Ward's personal assistant on Wednesday with a threat to go public with whatever in...

Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of NFL Viewing Maps
The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, which is why the Wikipedia article trying to explain them all is an insane 18,971 words long. (That's enough words to get you two-thirds of the way through Of Mice and Men, for chrissake.)...

The Chargers’ PR Director Writes A Bitchy Letter To Chargers Fans
One of the most recent articles posted under the "News" tab at Chargers.com has "Take A Chill Pill" as its headline. That's an odd headline to see on an official team site that usually just runs straight, boring news stories about the Chargers....

A Semi-Comprehensive List Of Everything Tyler Perry Pretends To Do In <em>Alex Cross</em>
Tyler Perry, tired (temporarily) of wearing dresses in his own movies, stars tomorrow in Alex Cross, playing the titular character of James Patterson's series of novels. Here is a semi-comprehensive list of everything Tyler Perry pretends to do in Alex Cross, in order. Spoilers abound....

<em>The Sessions</em> And The Trap Of The Disease-Of-The-Week Movie
All genres have their trademarks. In romantic comedies, the two meet, fall in love, break up, and then wind up together. In action movies, a lot of ass is kicked, then more ass is kicked, and then at the end, a hell of a lot of ass is kicked. That predictability isn't always a bad thing—after all, w...

This Isn't Your Life: On the Brilliant, Trippy <em>Holy Motors</em>
We like to believe that we're the masters of our own destinies, that our lives are ours to do with as we wish. But in reality, that's not true. We behave differently around our bosses than we do around our friends. Even as grown-ups, we still revert to childish tendencies when we're around our paren...

Where Would The NHL Be If Bain Capital Had Bought The Whole League In 2005?
It was March 2005, and the NHL's owners didn't know what to do. It had been six months since they'd locked out the players' union, trying to force concessions, but the players were still refusing to bear the brunt of spending cuts. Two weeks earlier, the league had finally canceled the already-delay...

Someone Stole A New York Giants Player's 1996 Chevy Caprice
While the Giants were in San Francisco to face the 49ers, burglars broke into the team's parking lot back in East Rutherford, N.J. where the players' cars were parked. The burglars broke into multiple vehicles and stole one....

The Chargers Have A Philip Rivers Problem
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If Ever A Moment Called For Facepalm, It's Philip Rivers Last Night
How do you blow a 24-0 halftime lead? Account for six turnovers, as Philip Rivers did last night in guiding the Chargers to a 35-24 final score, and you might just do it. To say it was laughable is an understatement, though most of us were, indeed, laughing. (Hopefully after the final interception—...