pr Page 764 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Channing Tatum Is Funny. Really. <em>21 Jump Street</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's surprising that it took this long for someone to mix the peanut butter of Apatowian bromance comedies with the chocolate of the buddy cop film. They're natural allies, with their undercurrents of false machismo, crippling fear of women and unmistakable male panic. It's tough not to lament th...

AHL Player Turns Into Crazy Person, Decides To Fight Everybody And Their Goalie
Steve MacIntyre is one of those guys who's always up and down from the NHL, and garners more penalty minutes than scoring chances. So, even with the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins, he's exactly the sort you'd expect to completely lose his mind and challenge the entire opposing team to a fight. All...

Florida's Casey Prather Ruined Kentucky Forward Kyle Wiltjer's Day With This Massive Dunk
Florida's off to a quick start against Kentucky in their SEC tournament semifinal, and there's no better example than this posterizing dunk by Casey Prather over the Wildcats' Kyle Wiltjer. [ABC]...

Last Night's Arena Football Season-Opener Was A Farce
Arena Football's 25th season kicked off last night, but it would be a stretch to call what was played in Orlando "football." A players' strike hours before kickoff meant both teams mostly used replacement players selected in a draft before the game, leaving NFL Network announcers without rosters a...

The Eddie Murphy You Love Is Dead
While suffering through this year's Oscars—ha ha, Billy Crystal kissed George Clooney, ha ha—it was hard not to think, "Geez, if Brett Ratner had kept his mouth shut, none of this would have happened and Eddie Murphy could have been the host." Indeed, the news last year that Murphy had agreed to hos...

David Price Has Now Hurt His Neck Three Times By Wiping His Head With A Towel
Rays lefty David Price had to leave yesterday's split-squad start after just two innings, but he later owned up to what had happened:...

Division III Basketball Team's Leading Scorer Chooses Spring Break In Cancun Over Sweet 16 Game
The King's College Lady Monarchs booked their tickets to a women's NCAA Division III Sweet 16 game this weekend against Emmanuel in Amherst, Mass. But senior forward Paige Carlin, the team's leading scorer (11.4 ppg), already had tickets—to Cancun for Spring Break. This is going dancing in the origi...

Cardio And Pooping: A Chart Of Every MLB Player Who Reportedly Lost Or Gained Weight This Offseason (And Why)
Every spring training, seemingly every other ballplayer shows up to camp and declares himself "in the best shape of my life." Our pal Craig Calcaterra over at HardballTalk has done yeoman's work on this phenomenon over the years, but we wanted to know more: Who gained weight? Who lost weight? How mu...

<i>Silent House</i> And The Rise Of The Gimmicky Horror Movie
On Friday, the horror movie Silent House comes out. One of its selling points is that it stars Elizabeth Olsen—who was terrific last year in a very different sort of horror film, Martha Marcy May Marlene—but probably the hook that will be most intriguing to genre fans is that the whole movie takes p...

Giants Eject Angels Scout From The Ballpark, And Now Everybody's Angry
You might not realize it, but the most interesting place in the baseball universe is Scottsdale, Arizona. Last week saw a mass bee attack hold up a Giants game, and yesterday brought us our first feud of the 2012 season as Giants manager Bruce Bochy kicked out an Angels scout....

The Data Behind Yu Darvish's Brief But Devastating Debut
Texas Rangers hurler Yu Darvish made quite the spring training debut today against the San Diego Padres. (Of course, he cost the team more than $107 million, spent the last seven years pitching competitively in Japan, and these were the Padres, so you'd think he would do OK.) Still, thanks to some f...

Clint Dempsey Is Officially Too Good For Fulham
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

They Don't Make Alien-Punching Movies Like They Used To. <em>John Carter</em>, Reviewed.
1. I know that the main reason John Carter exists right now is because the technology is available to produce it, that you can have armies of CGI characters that don't look ridiculous, that you can invent sprawling vistas of Mars desert, that you can have spaceships crash into spaceships crash into ...

Usain Bolt Vs. Prince Harry In The 25-Meter: Who Ya Got?
If you picked the one wearing the Jamaica shirt—you'd be right, actually, despite his gingerness. It's just good form to let royalty win. Even Princess Diana's riding instructor used to let her be on top every once in a while....

Is It OK For A Movie Trailer To Lie? Or, Why <em>Friends With Kids</em> Is Definitely Not <em>Bridesmaids 2</em>
Last October, a Detroit woman named Sarah Deming filed suit against FilmDistrict for its misleading advertisements for the film Drive. Her claim was that the film's trailers had led her to believe the film was about driving rather than, you know, Ryan Gosling stomping in the orbital bones of various...

Aw, Hell, Here's One More Tim Kurkjian Imitation From Rays Infielder Elliot Johnson
With Linsanity dying out, we needed something new. Call it Kurkjianomie....

Red Sox Minor Leaguer Pete Ruiz Has His Own Tim Kurkjian Impression
It's more understated than Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia's, we'll argue. Arencibia's is perhaps funnier—he brought Kurkjian's voice to a comically high pitch—but Ruiz's seems more precise. He's Darrell Hammond to Arencibia's Will Ferrell....

Inside The Spring Training Market For $4 Porn
Excerpted from former Padre and Blue Jay Dirk Hayhurst's splendid new book, Out of My League, a true chronicle of life as a pitcher bouncing between the minor leagues and the show. Some names have been changed....

Nets Owner Loses Russian Presidential Election Thanks To "Fucking Fuckwits"
It was a long cold Sunday for New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov, who decided a few months ago to challenge Vladimir Putin in the 2012 Russian presidential election. Nyet, Prokhorov! Nyet! As we've noted before, Putin is not only strong leader who crush enemy like Black Sea mosquito but also ma...

Giants And Diamondbacks Wait Out 41-Minute Bee Delay
A cloud of bees settled near the Giants dugout at the D-Backs training facility in Scottsdale, halting play until the grounds crew came up with a brilliant plan. They bought a bunch of lemonade and cotton candy from the food stands, smeared it on two golf carts, and used that to lure the bees away. ...