pr Page 812 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...
Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets
Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream]...
Football Players Get Themselves Charged With Weed Cultivation In Solemn Observance Of Today's Date
Four Louisiana at Lafayette football players were arrested this morning and subsequently suspended indefinitely from the team for alleged cultivation of marijuana. Can't we celebrate Jessica Lange's birthday without the law busting in? [The Advertiser]...
Just In Time For The World Cup, French Star Visits An Underage Prostitute
In libertine France, it takes a lot to spark a sex scandal. Think an underage call girl will turn do the trick? Franck Ribery could face charges after seeing the girl, though he says he didn't know her age. [AFP]...
CRACK BABY VS. AIDS BABY? An Audio Funbag With Adam Carolla
Worlds are colliding, folks. Number one podcaster in the universe Adam Carolla was nice enough to record an audio funbag with us, in which he answers some of your most probing questions....
BYU's Top Rusher Withdraws, Possibly Due To Premarital Sex With Girlfriend
Harvey Unga, BYU's leading rusher, is withdrawing from school. So is his girlfriend, basketball player Keilani Moeaki. They're leaving because of a violation of BYU's notoriously strict honor code. Let's speculate!...
99 Problems, Of Which Brand Infringement Is One
Jay-Z, owner of the 40/40 Club chain, is suing slugger David Ortiz for allegedly swiping the 40/40 name for his own club in the Dominican Republic, called "Forty Forty," an apparent reference to a baseball achievement no one associates with David Ortiz....
It's Professional Naked Lady Bobblehead Night
The Las Vegas 51s gave away bobbleheads of Holly Madison, the number one gal in Hugh Hefner's harem. A bobblehead? I can't masturbate to that. [Rick Chandler]...
Jim Nantz, You Suck! Goddammit!
Nantz pronounces himself appalled at Tiger's naughty language. "How about the father and son who are standing right there by the tee? How about the hundreds of people who are around that tee who hear that?" How about you fuck yourself? [Chron.com]...
Add Providence To The Institutional Control Watchlist
Two Friars players were arrested early today for assaulting a fellow student. Why? Oh, the usual reasons. They were looking for someone to beat up, and he was the first person they came across....
Confirmed: Terrence Austin May Or May Not Be An NFL Draft Prospect
I bet I know what you're thinking right now. What NFL team will draft UCLA's 2nd all-time yardage leader, Terrence Austin? I was right, wasn't I? Thanks to this bizarre, sort-of-informative press release I cannot now give you the answer!...
Today In "Holy Crap, This Guy Is Buying An NBA Team": Prokhorov Does Business With A Dictator
New Jersey legislator Bill Pascrell Jr. is calling for an inquiry that into the sale of the Nets because prospective owner Mikhail Prokhorov may or may not have done business with reigning Dictator of the Year, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe. Of course....
JMU's Spring Party Turns Into A Riot
James Madison University's Springfest: an annual celebration of booze, booze and more booze. And this year, fire, riot police and tear gas. A student sends along some of the best photos and videos of the day....
Rabbit Expo Collapse Leads To Unchecked Humping
A couple months ago, I wrote about a roof collapse at a Swedish rabbit show. I remember it well, because I'm still receiving hate mail from bunny enthusiasts. Well, there's a happy ending. The rabbits started fucking like rabbits....
John Paul Stevens Says Babe Ruth Called His Shot
How does he know? He saw it in person. Dude's old as dirt, and he's still never seen the Cubbies win it all....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Chris Kanyon
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Chris Kanyon, who was found dead Friday in his Queens, New York, apartment after an apparent suicide....
Jon Scheyer's Prank Was Pretty Darn Funny
Damn it. I hate when this happens. A guy you don't want to likes goes and pulls off a prank that can only be described as excellent. Goddamnit....
Yankees Logo On Boston Landmark? Well...
It certainly looked like the interlocking NY was writ large on the side of the Prudential Center last night....
Tiger Ingratiates Himself One First Name At A Time
Tiger's working really hard to get back into the public's good graces. Kicking off his comeback with that softball interview and a trip to the media-light Masters tournament were great ideas. Though everyone wants to bother him, no one will....
Confused Sideline Reporter Unable To Follow Game He's Covering
SkyTV's Chris Kamara had one job at this weekend's Portsmouth-Blackburn match: Watch the game. And maybe try to pay attention to what happens. He failed miserably on both counts....