rb Page 282 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Consider this the crotch-clenching companion piece to our annual look at American insertion: a collection of the worst penis-related mishaps to befall our great nation last year....

Jim Harbaugh's Getting <i>Paid</i> At Michigan
After weeks of pretending this wasn't inevitable, Jim Harbaugh was officially introduced as Michigan's new head coach. Your friends who root for the Wolverines are probably the happiest they've been in years. Even Harbaugh attempted a human smile!...

Kirk Cousins: If RGIII's The Starter, I Want Out
With so many crap teams hitting the reset button today, you may have briefly forgotten about Washington, the kings of dysfunction. Well, here's your reminder: they're still a mess, and they're content to come back with the same coach and GM. But it seems they're going to need to clear out at least o...

Hey, Newspaper, That's The Wrong Harbaugh
Whoever put together this morning's Detroit Free Press front page forgot the Golden Harbaugh Rule: John is the normal-looking one, and Jim is the one who always looks like a goddamn angry dragon. ...


Reports: Jim Harbaugh Will Be Named New Michigan Head Coach
After weeks of speculation and reports from curious sources, Fox Sports's Bruce Feldman is now reporting that Jim Harbaugh will be introduced as the new Michigan Wolverines head coach on Tuesday....

For Some Reason Jim Harbaugh Was On <i>Saved By The Bell</i>
Jim Harbaugh is looking for a new job. Dustin Diamond is out here getting into bar fights on Christmas Eve. In better times, they were on Saved By The Bell* together teaching the students of Bayside High School about heroism....

The Cardinals' Starting QB Will Be Ah Who Cares
This whole thing may be purely academic; the Cardinals are zeroing in on a road wild-card game, and Drew Stanton will probably be back by then. But, for the NFL completists out there: the third-stringer appears to have regained the inside track from the fourth-stringer for a likely-meaningless Week ...

This Guy Is Overwhelmed After Receiving Present From The Seahawks
Alex explains his story at the beginning of the video, but basically he met Robert Turbin's girlfriend in Kansas City when the Seahawks were playing the Chiefs, and she asked to take a picture in his Seahawks jacket. In exchange she was going to bring him to meet Turbin, but his phone died and he mi...

Jim Harbaugh Once Smeared A Player's Blood On His Face Like War Paint
With the University of Michigan all but begging Jim Harbaugh to be their next coach, the stories about Harbaugh's maniacal competitiveness are coming fast and heavy. For instance, last week we learned about Harbaugh hunting down a 10-year-old kid while playing laser tag. But this latest story, from ...

Michigan Is So Desperate Right Now
Sure, Michigan's program is currently a sad, directionless shell of itself, and it really wants a Michigan Man to lead the way, but have some damn self-respect. ...

Serbian MMA Fighter Chokes His Opponent Out, Then Helps Save His Life
The Serbian Battle Championship 4—which occurred earlier this month—saw a crazy end to this fight between Dusan Dzakic and Sebastijan Emini. At the 4:20 mark in the video above, you can see Emini frantically tapping out. The reason? Dude's starting to choke to death. Lucky for him, both Dzakic and...

Player Gets Red Card For Hacking Down His Own Brother
I mean, I get it. Sometimes, brothers suck. Sometimes, shit gets heated. Sometimes, there's nothing to do but take a running start, slide two feet through the back of their legs, and deal with Ma Dukes later....

Jim Harbaugh Doesn't Fuck Around At Laser Tag
Jim Harbaugh, who might become the next head coach at Michigan and get very rich along the way, is not a man who takes laser tag lightly. We know this thanks to a new column about Harbaugh on MLive, which contains this anecdote:...

7-Year-Old Wes Welker Once Whaled On A Dog
ESPN's Kevin Van Valkenburg has a new feature out about Broncos wide receiver Wes Welker. I'm sure it's good, but I really can't say for sure right now because I have spent the last 30 minutes or so thinking about this particular passage:...

Report: Michigan Offers Jim Harbaugh $8 Million A Year
Jim Harbaugh seems certain to leave the 49ers at season's end, if only because no one can stand him for more than four years, but everyone expects him to land in another NFL job. Well, here comes ol' mediocre Michigan, looking to blow up the coaching salary curve....

Anchor Christmas Ale 2014: Great Tradition, Mediocre Year
My family is woefully short on Christmas traditions. This is largely due to our being a small unit consisting of zero children or Christians, the two things that seem to make this particular holiday go 'round. But we like kids and Christs just fine, and everybody likes days off in the middle of the ...

How The NFL's Forgotten Christmas Albums Almost Made One Man Rich
For the entirety of my childhood, my brother, mom, and I spent one day a year—usually a Saturday two or three weeks out from Christmas—being serenaded by the 1970 Oakland Raiders. Specifically, we would spend the day putting up our Christmas tree while Daryle Lamonica, Jim Otto, and others mooed C...

Did Vanderbilt Try To Kill An Ex-Hoops Player's Tell-All Book?
They were supposed to celebrate that night. It was mid-August, and Kyle Fuller, Eric Schulman, and Jerry Castro were all together in Nashville. The Tennessean had posted an article about their book project, a Kickstarter-funded look at Fuller's life as a Vanderbilt basketball player and student ...
