red Page 167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
So Is Scooter Gennett Really This Good Now?
There are usually a very limited number of ways that most fans will ever come to know that a guy like Scooter Gennett exists. He’s a player you would know if you’re the type of Brewers fan that keeps up with those 16th-round role-playing guys, ones that hang around for a few years and never really f...
<i>Hereditary </i>Will Completely Fuck Up Even The Most Seasoned Horror-Movie Watcher
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love horror. I watch horror movies all the time. I stay up late after my wife goes to bed so that I can watch more horror movies, even though it means that I sleep terribly. My worry with H...
Would Dropping Switch-Hitting Help Salvage Billy Hamilton's Horrendous Season?
Billy Hamilton has long been one of the most fun players in baseball. He runs like the wind, a trait that makes him a highlight factory both on the bases and in the outfield. He turns an otherwise harmless dribbler to third into a moment of genuine excitement, and his presence on base strikes terror...
Pseudonymous Redditor Breaks Julian Edelman PED Suspension News Hours Ahead Of ESPN Report
ESPN’s Field Yates and Adam Schefter reported Thursday afternoon that Julian Edelman is facing a four-game PED suspension from the NFL, pending an ongoing appeal. This is important news, for a number of reasons: New England’s receiving corps was thinned out during the offseason, making Edelman’s pro...
Reds And Rockies Decide To Suck All At Once
Baseball presents its players with infinite ways in which to humiliate themselves, and they often do. But rare is the occasion on which we are given the tasty treat of multiple baseball players embarrassing themselves on the very same play. Take it away, Reds and Rockies:...
Chowdahead On The Field At Fenway Park Gets Blindsided By Security In The Outfield<em></em>
An idiot on the field at Fenway Park during tonight’s Tigers-Red Sox game made it all the way to center field in his mad dash to ... well, I don’t know exactly. Whatever he was looking for, I don’t think it was a security guard takedown as bone-shaking as this one:...
Every J.D. Martinez Swing Is Terrifying
Red Sox slugger J.D. Martinez became the first player to 20 home runs tonight, hitting the dong milestone with a high, deep fly to centerfield against his old team the Tigers. It was only the beginning of his reign of terror....
UFC Fighter Somehow Accidentally Knocks Himself Out
Jarred “The Monkey God” Brooks lost his second UFC fight tonight because, well, he picked his opponent up and then fell on his head. Brooks was giving UFC debutante Jose Torres the business until the bizarre end to the fight. It was scored as a TKO win for Torres, who explained afterwards that he wa...
Your Guide To The CONIFA World Cup, The World Cup For Not-Quite-Countries<em></em>
LONDON — “We have nothing against FIFA,” CONIFA General Secretary Sascha Düerkop told a tittering press corps on Wednesday. We were all sitting in the basement of a student accommodation block in North London. “They are very great to learn how not to do things.” ...
Washington Football Executive Resigns Over Cheerleading Escort Scandal
Washington president of business operations Dennis Greene has resigned in the aftermath of a New York Times report detailing a disturbing trip to Costa Rica made by the team’s cheerleaders for a photo shoot, where they were told to serve as escorts for sponsors....
Jared Donaldson's Legs Cramped Up, So He Had To Serve Underhand
American Jared Donaldson had an incredible performance in today’s second-round French Open match against the fourth-seeded Grigor Dimitrov, pushing the Bulgarian to the brink in the fifth set, before fatigue was the ultimate decider. Donaldson resorted to trickery to get around his cramping, but it...
This Jackie Bradley Jr. Over-The-Shoulder Circus Catch Is Totally Unfair
In the top of the sixth inning of today’s Blue Jays-Red Sox game in Boston, Kendrys Morales crushed a long fly ball to the deepest part of Fenway, in straightaway center. This was a double, for sure, except that Red Sox center fielder Jackie Bradley Jr. is a comic book superhero:...
Runners Advance On Umpire's Armpit Catch
Weird stuff happens in baseball. Maybe it’s that there are so many games, and so many repetitions of the same process, that the timeline for seeing every possible outcome is condensed by sheer volume. At any rate, you have probably never seen this one before:...
Benches Clear In Cubs-Reds After Bold Pitcher Stare-Down
Reds reliever Amir Garrett punctuated an inning-ending strikeout of Javier Baez in the seventh inning Saturday with a triumphant shout, loud enough to be audible over the television broadcast, followed by an aggressive stare-down of his vanquished foe. Unwritten rules and athlete egos being what the...
Mookie Betts Played Kevin Gausman For A Fool
Mookie Betts, the best non–Mike Trout player in baseball who makes everything look impossibly easy, has a history of showing as little mercy as possible to the division rival Baltimore Orioles. He continued that trend during last night’s 6-2 victory over the O’s in Boston....
Heck Yeah, J.D. Martinez Is Smashing Dingers Like Clockwork Again
New Red Sox signing J.D. Martinez had a very, very good first month in a Boston uniform—an April OPS of .994 is nothing to sneeze at—but Just Dingers has truly been living up to his nickname since May began. And in his first at-bat tonight against the Orioles, J.D.’s fifth-gear hot streak got even m...
Joey Votto "Terribly Ashamed" Of Saying Semi-Rude Things About Canada
Reds first baseman Joey Votto is a fantastic baseball player, a charmingly prickly dude, and a Canadian. Those last two things converged recently to produce one of his more memorable quotes, in which he explained that he really doesn’t give a shit about Canada....
Josh Reddick Fries Mike Trout At Third, Then Cooks Ian Kinsler At The Plate
Astros right fielder Josh Reddick had to have assumed he taught the Angels a lesson about running on his arm in the sixth inning tonight. When Mike Trout tried to move from first to third on a Shohei Ohtani single, he quickly became, in the accurate words of the announcer, “a dead duck.”...
Red Sox Pitcher Carson Smith Suffers Potentially Major Injury After Throwing His Glove In Frustration
Carson Smith tossed one inning in relief for the Red Sox in yesterday’s loss to the Oakland A’s, giving up a home run to Khris Davis. After he left the game, he was apparently mad at himself, and he tossed his glove in frustration. That’s a normal and fine reaction, but Smith injured himself doing s...
The New Red Sox Dugout Band Ain't Half Bad
The Boston Red Sox have a nice storied history of bench players exploring their musical gifts while not taking part in the action on the field, specifically in the cases of a couple different “bullpen bands” that played instruments like “the water bottles” and “the spoons.” Before their game tonight...