red Page 265 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Skeptic's Guide To The 2012 Heisman Trophy
Remember the lullaby afternoons of September, when we all figured we'd see a Heisman winner who merited the award? Maybe a Geno Smith, slinging the ball all over the yard, or even a Matt Barkley, who despite being named after Big Bird's dog had the right pedigree and weaponry (Robert Woods and Marqu...
Trade Rumor: The Washington Redskins For The FBI
There are two, seemingly unrelated real estate issues in and around our nation's capital. The FBI is seeking to move out of its dilapidated, Brutalist ugly headquarters in downtown Washington, and officials from DC, Maryland, and Virginia are all trying to lure the bureau to their districts. Meanwhi...
Grierson & Leitch's Year In Review: The Year's Worst Scenes
Yes, many people are already writing their Top 10 movie lists for 2012. We're saving ours for the last week of the year, but while we wait for this full, rich, and weird movie year to end, we're going to start looking back at certain highlights. Today, it's our least-favorite individual scenes....
The Redskins Were So Excited That Donald Trump Praised RGIII That They Slapped It On Their Facebook Page
So, everything about this is just powerfully loathsome: Trump's face, the fact that the Redskins are so historically starved for praise that they consider an endorsement from a vitamin-selling pyramid-schemer an important plug, and, oh, right, "You're hired." I think the Redskins just found the only...
Name The Royal Baby!
I have no idea what the protocol is for naming an heir to throne of England. I assume that Prince William and Kate Middleton are free to think up names as they please, before the queen walks in with a terrifying grimace and her dumb corgis and politely tells the couple that none of their names will ...
On Browns Call-In Show, Caller Asks Who Has The Biggest Penis; Hosts Break Down Giggling
Browns Red Zone airs Mondays on SportsTime Ohio. The hosts—Jim Donovan, Tony Grossi, and Doug Dieken, break down the previous day's game, and take calls from viewers who want to discuss the Browns. It's basically televised sports radio, and like radio, sometimes prank callers make it through the s...
Dan Snyder Celebrates Win Over Giants With Characteristic Grace And Civility
Big win for the Redskins Monday night over the Giants. They are now 3-1 in the division, just one game behind the Giants....
Giants Lineman Sean Locklear Used To Have A Right Knee: Giants-Redskins In Four GIFs
Washington 17, New York Giants 16: Ugh, so gross. Moving on. The Giants could have gone a long way to wrapping up the division while also taking the air out of the Washington sails, but no. The Redskins are right in the thick of things despite...let's call it an unorthodox first scoring drive....
College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves In 2012? (Besides USC, Iowa, And The Tom Selleck Impersonator At Boston College)?
Our weekly college football shame index. ...
One Of The Mets' New Minority Owners Has Been Accused Of Consumer Fraud. He'll Fit Right In.
Will the Mets ever be anything but an incorporated facepalm of a team? The latest addition to the team's ever-growing portfolio of pathetic missteps comes courtesy of The New York Times, which points out today that one of the team's new minority owners is allegedly little more than a flowery scam a...
AP: Upstart Regional School Has The Honor Of Playing Notre Dame For A National Title
Yes, there is no higher merriment in college football than making fun of Notre Dame. But let's not overlook the joys of taunting the other side of the BCS championship matchup. If only there had been a giant sphygmomanometer hooked up to the deep Confederacy last night, to record the mass blood-pres...
Beer Of The Week: Coney Island Human Blockhead
First time I ever stepped onto Coney Island was to cover the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, which is a lot of capital letters to ascribe to an event in which men and women choke down mountains of tube steaks on national television, yes, but indeed an event you should attend to if you consid...
Alabama Barely Beats Georgia For SEC Title, Right To Demolish Irish In National Title Game
Your national title game will be SEC semifinal champion Alabama against Notre Dame, which in a just alternate universe just got piss-pounded by Ohio State in the Big Ten title game and ceded its title game slot to Florida. In this universe, though, Notre Dame spent the afternoon licking its chops as...
This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....
Great, Now Notre Dame Fans Will Think They're Good At Basketball, Too
The Fighting Irish downed Kentucky last night 64-50 thanks to a cold night of Wildcats shooting, prompting a Notre Dame court-storming and an even more-inflated sense of importance among followers of Our Lady. UK coach John Calipari responded by pledging to modify his previous refusal to play in Bl...
Arkansas State Football Fans Get Ready For The Sun Belt Conference Championship Game In This Terrible Hype Video
I don't know who any of these people are. I'm going to assume that at least some of them are affiliated with Arkansas State University. Then again, one guy appears to be a doctor, and another is wearing a shitty Blues Brother costume. So who the hell knows....
Now There's Video Of The Allegedly "Super-Drunk" Red Wings Prospect Being Arrested In A Teletubby Costume
On Tuesday we told you about Red Wings prospect Riley Sheahan, whose alleged "super-drunk" driving antics whilst clad in Tinky Winky garb made him an internet sensation....
Ask A Notre Dame Beat Writer About The—Cough, Cough—Best Football Team In The Country
Brian Hamilton covers the Fighting Irish for the Chicago Tribune (in which capacity he is regularly abused by the most self-indulgent fanbase west of Massachusetts). Got some questions about the country's temporarily top-ranked team? Brian's in the discussion below....
The Hater's Guide To Notre Dame
You’re gonna hear a lot about Notre Dame over the next month or so, particularly from media types like Tony Kornheiser who have spent the past 20 years holding back a collective tidal wave of jism, waiting for the program to return to prominence so that they can declare how good it is for college fo...
Red Wings Prospect Arrested For Allegedly Being "Super-Drunk" While Wearing Teletubby Costume
Riley Sheahan is facing charges of being "super-drunk" after his arrest in October during which cops say the 20-year-old Detroit Red Wings prospect had a blood-alcohol content of .30 while driving and wearing a Tinky Winky costume....