red Page 315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Weekend Winner: Media Members In Better Shape Than Albert Haynesworth
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like various DC-area media members, who took a shot at completing the Redskins' conditioning test that the disgruntled Haynesworth has been unable to pass....

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Short Video Tribute To Diego Maradona, The Manager
As mentioned yesterday, the World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things - vuvuzelas, a terrible match ball, and Larissa Riquelme's mobile phone deftly positioned between her enormous bosoms. But one thing was glaringly left out—Diego Maradona....

Gross Picking His Nose? Gross Picking His Nose.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dog Beats Billy Beane to A's Soul
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose? Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose.
Going with the same headline formula? Going with the same headline formula. You fuck. It is the end of the day, the end of the week, but not the end of your life, so go rejoice....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: J.J. Redick, Duke University
Although this isn't technically what we're looking for, it's still pretty great to revisit Redick's batch of "poetry" which Sports Illustrated wisely published in earnest. The boy likes to rhyme....

When Notre Dame Football Players Get Arrested, Touchdown Jesus Weeps
Ain't no party like a South Bend party, cause by the time a South Bend house party gets stopped by police, someone's hand is going to get lacerated and some police officer's camera is going to take a mugshot of Joe Montana's son Nate....

Here's Video Of All The World Cup Red Cards Set To A Snappy Tune
If you enjoyed our previous montage, let this one act as a palate cleanser. Hand balls, flopping, cleat attacks — enjoy the best in red-card-worthy World Cup cheating. [Dirty Tackle]...

The 8 Things I Learned Using Sports-Figure iPhone Apps
It was only a matter of time before athletes and other sports figures got into the iPhone app game, and now, thanks to one company, they have done so only as modern sports celebrities can: tackily....

If a Bull Gores Someone in Pamplona When Everybody's Watching Soccer, Does the Wound Bleed?
Not a good weekend for bulls internationally....

Tour De France Cyclists Beat Each Other With Bike Wheel
Rui Costa and Carlos Barredo got into it at the finish line of today's 6th stage of the Tour. The spark? A little Road Rash-style elbow to the gut during the race....

Chad Ochocinco Is Looking For A Classy Broad
On his reality dating show: "I don't have nobody to cook for me. I don't have nobody to go to McDonald's with, or to take to the high-end restaurants like Red Lobster." [Dan Patrick Show]...

World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Netherlands
Semifinal No. 1 is here. Can Uruguay continue its historic run, or will the Dutch squadron fancy-footwork its way into the championship game? Try to stay cool and comment below....

Phish Fans Call Out Fenway Girl Pissing In Public
A drunk, underage woman couldn't — or wouldn't — make it to the bathrooms at Fenway last night. This is her story....

Baltimore Radio Guy Loses His Mind Over John Riggins
Riggins has a new show on MASN, and to hype it up, he filmed a commercial at a generic football field. Problem is, it's not so generic: it's M&T Bank Stadium, home of the Ravens....

Mickey Mouse Assaulted For Supporting The Boston Red Sox
The All-Star Game is in Anaheim next month, so in the tradition of shameless corporate sponsorship, MLB created 30 Mickey Mouse statues, each one honoring a different pro team. Naturally, the Red Sox Mickey has been brutally violated....

Don't Let Notre Dame Touch You There, Big Ten
So Lou Holtz finally wants Notre Dame in The Big 10. I never took him for a bandwagoner, but his assessment that the conferences are eventually going to split into a few mega-conferences isn't lacking for evidence....

Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....

Beware Ghana's Sex Machines
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....