reds Page 124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Papi's Bed Will End Homelessness, Achieve Peace In The Middle East
I have always dreamed of sleeping in Big Papi's bed, but until now I never thought that it could become a reality. Now it's here; the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own Big Papi's bed. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that sleeping there would be like nestling into a warm, comforting hug by t...
Mock The Mohawk At Your Own Peril
Silly? Yes; especially when you consider that manager Joe Maddon is wearing one. But the Rays' new mohawk look seems to have mystical powers; a force that the Boston Red Sox were not able to overcome on Tuesday. The Rays broke free from a virtual tie with Boston atop the standings with a 2-1 win at ...
Clinton Portis and Brian Mitchell Radio Interview Goes Entertainingly Off The Rails
Yesterday, Clinton Portis went on John Thompson's radio show on WTEM 980 in Washington, D.C. and within minutes he and Thompson's co-host, former Redskin/Eagle Brian Mitchell , were at each others throats. B. Mitch has been critical of Portis in the past, which prompted the feud, and the DC Sports ...
Curt Schilling Puts the Moves on Cindy McCain?
Everyone knows that Curt Schilling loves John McCain. But can the Republican presidential nominee trust the Red Sox pitcher when it comes to something much more important than an election...his wife? At a recent charity event, Curt Schilling confused Cindy McCain with his wife and held hands with h...
Universe Rights Itself, Soon Should Be Completely Normal
Like in the Michael Douglas film Falling Down, Joe Maddon is wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and demanding breakfast at McDonald's, even though its past 11:30. Sorry Joe. We're back where we were in July 24; the Red Sox and Rays, tied for first in the East. Only this time Boston clearly has mome...
Who's Sorry Now? Chris Cooley Edition
The nation is still buzzing over Wienergate; when Redskins tight end Chris Cooley posted a naked photo of himself — including shlong — on his personal blog over the weekend. This has caused much consternation at Clan Cooley; the photo was removed late Sunday, and now Chris has issued a mea culpa. It...
Chris Cooley's Accidental Nude Blogging Causes Stress For Cooley Family, Inc.
I'm not big on saving too many text messages, but the one I received at 9:02 p.m. last evening while sitting in a Chili's in Hermosa Beach will probably be archived for eternity:"Hey, it's Tanner Cooley. I need to talk to you about my brother's cock picture on the site. Call me." Yesterday when KOGO...
Cooley Exposed More Than His Playbook
Chris Cooley, a friend of the bloggers as well as an accomplished blogger in his own right, had a nice day on the field today, but I don't think that's what people are going to remember come tomorrow. Earlier today Chris posted on his official blog about a fun section of the playbook that Jim Zorn ...
The Average NFL Team Now Worth Over $1 Billion
Just as a refresher, the Pittsburgh Steelers franchise fee was $2,500 back in 1933. Art Rooney had the money to pay the franchise fee thanks to winnings at Saratoga Racetrack. Yeah, pretty good investment. As always it makes you want to kick your grandfather. The NFL becomes the first sports league...
The Papelbon Dirty Dancing Videos Are Here. Oh, Man
If the Red Sox fail to win the East this season — and let's face it, it's looking more and more doubtful — we can probably blame this. One is never really prepared for a video of Jonathan Papelbon at a high school talent show performing Dirty Dancing routines in drag; it's just a shock to the system...
Why Your Team Won't Make The Playoffs: American League
And down the stretch they come! A look ahead at the final few weeks of the regular season, and why your team is doomed, in capsule form. Today, the American League ... East • 1. Tampa Bay Rays. Record: 85-56. Magic number: 20. Big strength: Evan Longoria is back after a stint on disabled list with a...
Jim Zorn Will Not Keep John McCain Hanging
Pretty entertaining NFL opener last night, but what WAS the deal with the Redskins not going to the no-huddle on that second-to-last possession down by nine with about five minutes left? John Madden's explanation: Jim Zorn didn't have time to put in a no-huddle. That's a pretty hilarious notion, act...
The End Of Productivity: Your NFL Opener Is Finally Here
I don't know about you, but after a summer of confusing Chinese Olympic ceremonies and Barry Zito highlights, I'm ready for tonight's game big time. Redskins! Giants! Meadowlands! The NFL is here! My nipples explode with delight. If they're smart, the Giants should have worked this week on figuring ...
Chris Cooley and the Redskins' Fantasy Football Draft
There's an exception for fantasy football posts when actual NFL players are involved, right? Crickets. Anyway, Fred Smoot steals the draft show. But is that really any surprise? Also of note, Colt Brennan going with LenDale White in what appears to be the first round of the draft. Decision making...
NFL Season Preview: Washington Redskins
We're less than 12 hours away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these preview...
Alex Rodriguez And The Art Of The Double Play
Let it be known that the Yankees officially succumbed in the AL East last night; time of death 10:27 p.m., EST. It was all Alex Rodriguez's fault, of course. The only question is, what shall we call him after his 0-for-5 performance in a 7-3 loss to the Red Sox? Boo-Rod? A-Flop? A-Rod And Out? A-Wad...
Shocker: Fred Smoot's Minnesota House in Disrepair; Not Selling
Smoot, of course, is now a Washington Redskin. This means his former 5,812 square foot home in Eden Prairie, Minnesota is up for sale. The home is now listed at $849,000 which is down from an initial listing price of $1.2 million. Thanks to an email tip from a reader, we now know that the neighbors...
Get Ready To Panic, ESPN; Yankees And Red Sox May Both Miss Playoffs
The year was 1993. Bill Clinton ascends to the White House. The Bills lose their third consecutive Super Bowl. "Whoomp! (There It Is)" by Tag Team is America's No. 1 song. And in a strike-shortened season, both the Yankees and Red Sox fail to make the playoffs. That's the last time that's happened, ...
Reds Management Would Like To Apologize For All The Sucking
In an odd move even for them, the Cincinnati Reds front office has written an open letter to fans to apologize for being in last place. Of course, CEO Bob Castellini and GM Walt Jocketty don't admit to any wrongdoing — there were injuries! And the weather has been generally bad! — but they don't wan...
Mike Timlin Will Take Care Of Your Ballpark Rat Problem
As long as Red Sox pitcher Mike Timlin is alive, Heidi Watney will never go hungry. Hope you enjoy squirrel, Heidi. You mean to say that hawk was a lovable team mascot? Sorry, my bad. Now, watch me shoot an apple off of a teammate's head. Damn it, hold still Youkilis! From Timlin's bio: ...