ric Page 461 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bobby Jindal, Obsequious Twerp, Simpers The Fuck Out
Bobby Jindal will no longer pursue the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He also will not pursue Alpha Centauri, or growing a second head out of his left shoulder, or the Elder Wand. Dogs will not shoot lasers from their eyes. The sun will not be a showerhead that sprays grapefruit juice. Man...

Fred Hoiberg And Derrick Rose Can't See Eye-To-Eye On Double Vision Diagnosis
Derrick Rose has been playing this season with double vision produced by a broken left orbital bone in his face. I am no medical expert, but this sounds like an active hindrance to the practice of playing NBA basketball, and Rose’s career-low stats back this up....

Georgia Player Injured After Being Slapped By Coach
Here’s one way to end up on the injury list: Georgia defensive back Rico McGraw left today’s game against Auburn after being decked in the head by an overly enthusiastic coach. Note to coaches: your players are already at enough risk of brain injury, thanks....

Braves Deal Andrelton Simmons To Angels For Erick Aybar, Top Prospects
After days of rumors that the Atlanta Braves were looking to make a deal, they finally struck. According to multiple reports, they traded Andrelton Simmons and minor leaguer Jose Briceno to the Los Angeles Angels for Erick Aybar, pitching prospects Sean Newcomb and Chris Ellis, and $3 million cash....

Patrick Beverley Had A Rough Morning Yesterday Over Some Unpaid Toll Fees
As Pearland, Tex. police prepared to handcuff Rockets guard Patrick Beverley during a traffic stop Wednesday, he asked if they could sort out the issue away from the dashcam. “I’m not about to have people put me on social media,” he said....

The Only Rule Is Refusal: A Song For Rand Paul
By the end of last night’s debate, Rand Paul had been reduced to smirking and reciting the Real Fiscal Conservatism rulebook—You can’t spend trillions on the military and be a real conservative, so are you a real conservative?—like a five-year-old who’d caught a playmate in the irreconcilable though...
![NJ Devils Owner's Helicopter Parks On Soccer Field, Cancels Youth Game [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1514577608354769038.jpg)
NJ Devils Owner's Helicopter Parks On Soccer Field, Cancels Youth Game [Update]
A youth soccer game at Saint Benedict’s Preparatory School in Newark, N.J., was called off Sunday night after a helicopter touched down in the middle of the pitch and stayed there. This was no emergency landing, however: the vehicle was there to pick up Josh Harris, billionaire owner of the New Jers...

New York AG Orders DraftKings And FanDuel To Stop Taking Bets From New York Residents
Things are only getting worse for the definitely skill-based daily fantasy industry, as New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman ordered DraftKings and FanDuel to cease accepting bets from New York residents. In a prepared statement, Schneiderman assailed daily fantasy, saying it constituted ille...

ESPN's Promo For Mavericks-Clippers Goofs On The DeAndre Jordan Saga
The late-night standoff/sleepover that wooed DeAndre Jordan away from the Mavericks and back onto the Clippers will forever be one of the funniest moments in sports. So I’m cool with this silly ESPN promo for tomorrow night’s game between the Mavericks and Clippers, because nobody should ever stop m...

This Trick Play Was A Terrible Idea And It Worked Perfectly
Who’s ready for some hot DIII action?! Not Carleton College, which fell for the ol’ fake-extra-point-fake-toss-no-look-behind-the-back-pass-two-point-conversion by St. Thomas. The oldest trick in the book....

Big Fat Fabulist Ben Carson's West Point Story Is Bogus
Republican presidential candidate and hip-hop impresario Ben Carson is full of beans. Possibly he is as much as 82-percent beans! His tales of youthful violence keep changing, his Mannatech disavowal was bogus on its face, and now his story of receiving a full scholarship to the U.S. Military Academ...

Jack Eichel's Goal Causes Sabres Announcer Rick Jeanneret To Lose It
With Edmonton’s Connor McDavid out for the foreseeable future, let’s go to Buffalo for a Jack Eichel highlight....

Derrick Rose Turned His Son's Meme Face Into A T-Shirt
Derrick Rose’s son is one of the world’s more expressive sports babies, as evidenced here and in the photo above. This is apparently is not lost on Derrick Rose, who wore a very cool T-shirt in the locker room yesterday:...

Larry Lessig Was Running For President, Now Isn't
Larry Lessig is a Harvard professor, campaign finance reform activist, and attorney; he is not seeking the Democratic nomination to the 2016 presidential election. That last bit is new, as of yesterday: He was seeking the nomination before that—didn’t you know?—and now he is not. Baby shoes, never w...

Has An American President Ever Watched Porn In The Oval Office?
Your letters:...

Report: Patrick Kane's Accuser Will No Longer Cooperate With Investigation
Over the weekend, the Buffalo News reported that it appeared unlikely that the rape accusation against Blackhawks star Patrick Kane would go before a grand jury, let alone result in criminal charges. Now we know why: Kane’s accuser has reportedly told prosecutors she no longer wants to cooperate wit...
![Protesters Abseiling From The Panthers' Stadium Hang Anti-Dominion Banner [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1502048788417383234.jpg)
Protesters Abseiling From The Panthers' Stadium Hang Anti-Dominion Banner [UPDATE]
We’ve seen it all. Here are two protesters from We Are Cove Point rappelling from the Panthers’ stadium to hang a banner reading “BOA Dump Dominion.” And unlike most Idiots On The Field, ESPN actually aired them!...

Ricardo Lockette To Have Neck Surgery, Will Miss Rest Of Season
The Seattle Seahawks have released a statement with an update on wide receiver Ricardo Lockette’s condition. ...

The Royals Won By Betting On The Mets To Botch The Job
I felt a little insane listening to the Fox booth lavish praise on the Royals for Eric Hosmer’s dash home to score the tying run on Lucas Duda’s bad throw. “Brilliant baserunning?” Did they see that throw? If Duda doesn’t peg a beer vendor, Hosmer is out and the game is over. ...