ric Page 572 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Not Everybody Loves Derek Jeter, As Evidenced By This Old Man Giving Him The Handwank
The Yankees scraped past the Indians 3-1 last night in Cleveland, extending their AL East lead thanks in part to Derek Jeter's two hits....

Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Age 65, Threw A Complete Game Last Night
The high—and I do mean high—priest of baseball eccentrics hasn't pitched in the majors since 1982, but he's still out there, you know, man, and he's still pitching, 65 years young. Last night, the Spaceman took the mound for the San Rafael (Calif.) Pacifics of the independent North American League. ...

Howie Kendrick's Mustache Last Night Was, Erm, Unique
Last night's 14-13 Angels win over Boston in extras was a testament to agricultural arson, but some viewers seemed preoccupied with the status of Howie Kendrick's mustache....

The Details Of Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner's Child Porn Charges Are Horrifying
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner's been charged formally with felony counts of using his own children in a sexual performance and possession of child pornography, and the details outlined in the charges are unpleasant to read. The videos, featuring three children under the age of te...

The Soccer Fans Who Ought Least To Go Shirtless Always Do
The UEFA Champions League playoff is like a very long series of NCAA Play-In Games Opening Round Games; scrappy champions of small leagues and barely-qualified major league losers clash heads for the right to face the real "Champions" in the group stage....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"
The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....

Bristolmetrics: The Jets Are America's Team, According To Tebow-Horny <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Possible Reasons Why One Would Spend $315 On The New LeBron James Nikes
Maybe you've heard that Nike is releasing its new LeBron James-inspired shoes this fall, called the Nike LeBron X. The top-of-the-line pair will cost $315, which is approximately $275 more than I typically like spending on a pair of sneakers, but that's fine. I figure some folks out there will be ha...

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Busted On Child Porn Charges
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner faces child pornography charges after being booked by Eagle Lake cops at his home today. The Division II Mavericks' coach has been on administrative leave since Friday after university officials escorted him off the practice field....

British Texas Rangers Fan Interviewed During Last Night's Broadcast Thinks The Team Is "Lovely Jubblies"
Jim Knox's interviews with fans during Texas Rangers telecasts have become a bit of legend around here, and he continued his streak of finding interesting individuals last night when he came across a boisterous Brit with a love for the Rangers. (We encourage you to Google 'Lovely Jubblies,' thoug...
![Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]
Will Lucas from Fairfield, Conn., threw a no-hitter in the Little League World Series yesterday and was invited on the The Dan Patrick Show today to talk about it....

Rick Sutcliffe Wants Melky Cabrera Deported
And here we thought the dumbest thing to happen since Melky tested positive for taking testosterone was that Melky and his crew had cooked up a fake website to try to prove his innocence. Pshaw. Melky has not been charged with a crime, but that's of no concern to ESPN baseball analyst/sheriff Rick...

Richard Bachman Will Wear A Stephen King-Inspired Goalie Mask
It's got to suck to be the Dallas Stars' backup goalie. He'll never be the most famous person named Richard Bachman, even though the guy ahead of him isn't actually named Richard Bachman. But he's embracing it, with this new mask from David Gunnarsson, featuring art from The Shining....

Rich Old Cracker Says Incompetent Woman Can Play Golf At His Stupid Club
I am a man. I woke up feeling great about myself today, but I didn't know why. Now I totally do!...

Here's Kobe Bryant Playing Electric Guitar, Scoring 68 Points in 15 Minutes
And both happened in China, which is the only way any of this makes sense. We were first alerted to this by Eye on Basketball and they have some details, culled from Kobe's facebook page....

Somebody Threw A Shoe At Danica Patrick's Car And Knocked Her Out Of A Race She Was Leading
"Something's fucked up" is all Danica Patrick could muster after leading much of today's NASCAR Nationwide tour race at Montreal then being knocked out by a mechanical issue after running over a shoe thrown onto the track by a spectator....

Man Escorted Out Of Comerica Park For Being So Drunk He May Have Pissed Himself
Here, for your convenience, are all the classic signs of a person who has had too much to drink. Wobbly knees. Friend struggling to help the person home. Others delighting in the person's misfortune. A brush with law enforcement. Oh, and piss-soaked shorts. [Sweater Punch]...

This Is What The Lincoln Tunnel Looks Like To An F1 Car At 90 MPH
To do some press for the debut of a New Jersey F1 race (which probably won't happen in 2013, as was planned) Red Bull Racing sent David Coulthard through the Lincoln Tunnel with a camera on his car. A speed of 90 mph would get him through the 1.5-mile tunnel in 60 seconds. That's shorter than what...

The Famous Photo Of Juan Marichal Beating Johnny Roseboro With His Bat, In Color
How many times have you seen the AP photo of an enraged Juan Marichal hammering Dodgers catcher Johnny Roseboro with his bat. Unfortunately, the AP still shot mostly in black-and-white in 1965. So Reddit user "BradyIsAnElitePunter" took a whack at colorizing the picture in Photoshop. (Click to see t...
