ric Page 620 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sexxxy Pitino Extortion Trial Kicks Off With Blowjobs For Everyone
We're barely done with opening arguments, and Karen Sypher's already accused of two blowjobs-for-favors, a one-night-stand, a marriage, an abortion, and, oh yeah, extortion. We're not sure our delicate sensibilities can handle the afternoon session. [Kentucky Sports Radio]...

Wilderness Unsurprisingly Impedes Insane Wilderness Marathon
Eric Strabel was on pace to shatter the record of the Crow Pass Crossing wilderness marathon in the Chugach Mountain region of Alaska when a bear "surprised him on the trail." Then he got lost. Then a moose blocked the trail. The Crow Pass marathon is a 24-mile sprint through mountains and forest...

It's Okay To Make Fun Of Lance Armstrong Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tim Tebow Makes Me Hate America
Elway made me a Denver Broncos fan in '83. Activist-athlete Tim Tebow made me a non-Broncos fan from '10 until which point Tebow's gone off to monastery and Mini-Belichick Josh McDaniels returns to Madame Tussauds' Napoleon display....

Gross Picking His Nose? Gross Picking His Nose.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: John Jenkins, Vanderbilt University
Today's nominee is Vanderbilt guard, John Jenkins, and his stunning essay about...meat? Women? Women who don't eat meat? It manages to be both sexist and anthropological and pro-meat....

Sportswriter Publicly Quits, Salts The Earth In His Wake
The Miami Herald's FIU beat writer figured out that his paper and his city (to say nothing of the world) care a hell of a lot more about The U than they do FIU. His scathing letter of resignation pulled no punches....

Last Night's Winner: Orioles Fans, As Strange As That Sounds
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field....

Young Ladies, Who May Or May Not Have Penises, Enjoy Cricket
A troupe of traveling Thai Ladyboys have given cricket a go on their visit to Manchester. They learned that athletic tape wasn't intended for taping your junk between your legs, but it does the trick. [Metro] (H/T Tom K. Again.)...

Ah, The Ol' Lacrosse Hidden Ball Trick
It might not have the Iroquois, but the World Lacrosse Championship does have the sneaky Japanese...What do you mean, 'racial stereotype?' It's the hidden ball trick! That's sneaky!...

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....

Area Man Hits Two Holes In One
His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]...

Australian Cricket Player Stripped Of "Father Of The Year" Crown
The state of Victoria has rescinded Australian cricket legend Dean Jones's 2007 Father of the Year award after details of a nine-year affair with an "air hostess" surfaced. What sort of details, you say? Why a lovechild of course....

Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: J.J. Redick, Duke University
Although this isn't technically what we're looking for, it's still pretty great to revisit Redick's batch of "poetry" which Sports Illustrated wisely published in earnest. The boy likes to rhyme....

Vows: Tonya Harding and Joe Price
Tonya Harding, a 39-year-old disgraced former figure skater who still has horny fans, and Joseph Jens Price, 42-year-old "real nice, blue-collar-type guy," were married June 26 by Pastor Lloyd Ward of the Community Church of God in Vancouver, Wash....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....

Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Jordan Vandenberg, North Carolina State
From a reader: This was written by a basketball student in my freshman business class at North Carolina State University. The assignment was to write about two events that we were required to attend to meet a global learning requirement....