ric Page 664 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Newcastle Owner Now Slightly Richer
Newcastle have been on quite a run as of late, and Mike Ashley is taking full advantage. The club's billionaire owner recently strolled into his local casino (note to self: move to England) and had a seat at the roulette wheel, the greatest table game of them all. Ashley decided to make the boldest ...
BWI Isn't Just a Crappy Airport In Maryland
Cedric Benson, the oft-maligned running back of the Chicago Bears, was arrested last night by the Lower Colorado River Authority (the LAPD of southwest waterways) after being stopped for suspicion of boating while intoxicated. The 25 year-old was hosting between 12 and 15 guests on his 30-foot boat...
Media Approval Ratings: Dan Patrick
Among the many pleasures of "Costas Now" the other night was Dan Patrick explaining how the old "Big Show" was actually named ironically by him and Keith Olbermann. They called it "The Big Show" because they assumed no one was watching and had no numbers or reason to think otherwise. But people were...
It's Deja Vu In The NBA Playoffs
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is mourning the Suns today. When he's not being bummed out, you can find him hating the Spurs at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Jeff Reed Will See Your Giant Dong And Raise You A Tiara And A Lady
Those ribald, pigskin miscreants at Thee Kissing Suzy Kolber have been gifted with a picture of Steelers' kicker Jeff Reed acting just like you'd expect Steelers' kicker Jeff Reed to act at a Las Vegas poolside bar. The three pictures of Reed show him wearing a sash, a bib and a tiara, or donning ...
You'll Never Believe What Happened Yesterday (Actually, You Probably Will)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, would like the springtime weather to actually reach Chicago. It can happen any time now. When he's not ruing unseasonably low temperatures in the midwest, he can be found trying to warm his hands at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The Maverick meltdown: Will it ever e...
1st Round, Seventh Overall: Patriots Saints Select Sedrick Ellis
The Patriots, wheeling and dealing? Next thing you know they'll be doing something shifty. Without waiting for the details, I am going to assume that they just took the Saints first round picks thru 2017 to allow them to move up five slots....
Where, Uh, Whoa, Amazing Highs Happen
Dominating the headlines this Saturday is the shocking (shocking!) admission by the Mavericks' Josh Howard that he, like every one in the NBA who isn't J.J. Reddick, smokes trees in the off-season. Also: baseball players take steroids and politicians cheat on their spouses....
Minor League Goalie Peppered With Pucks, Surrenders
Announcement: Michael Leighton is not in the mood to take out the freaking trash tonight — or for any other goddamned requests — after making 98 saves in an American Hockey League game ... and losing. Shit! Leighton and the Albany River Rats lost in the longest game in AHL history on Thursday, when ...
As If The Mavericks Don't Have Enough Problems
From the Dallas hub of the Department of Lunatics comes this head-scratching lawsuit courtesy of the one and only Jonathan Lee Riches, a man serving time in a federal penitentiary in South Carolnia for wire fraud, but who chooses to pass his time by exercising his right to file ridiculous lawsuits a...
Rich Rodriguez Era Off To A Rousing Start
Former University of Michigan offensive lineman Justin Boren is now officially an Ohio State Buckeye, a development which has caused much gnashing of teeth around college football. This is the first time ever that a Wolverines player has gone over to play for their most hated rival, which should rai...
Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from...
Jeff Reed Is Available If You Have Drink Specials
If you're hanging around Altoona, Penn., at the beginning of June, we highly encourage you to drop by the game between the New Britain Rockcats and the Altoona Curve. Because they've got quite the celebrity throwing out the first pitch....
Danica Patrick Finally Wins, And That's Cool With Us
Danica Patrick, known to many sports fans as "the woman who is competent enough to be taken seriously and attractive enough to be overrated," finally won a race this weekend. Some have been mocking the achievement, but we dunno, we think it's impressive. It's hard to win races, you know?...
Danica Patrick No Longer A Pretty Girl Who Can't Win Races
It feels like it took longer than Phil Mickelson's first major, but the petite open-wheeled racer finally reached the checkered flag before a bunch of chauvinistic war-starting toilet-seat-leaving-up booze-crazed horndogs in Japan this weekend, becoming the first female to win a major auto racing ev...
Ric Bucher Gets No Big Love From Angry Jazz Fans
ESPN's NBA sideline yapper Ric Bucher will most likely not be invited to any Church of Latter Day Saints picnics anytime soon. During an ESPN radio interview with Colin Cowherd, Bucher suggested that the reason Utah was one of the the toughest places to play was because their fans are so pent-up and...
Dallas Versus New Orleans: The Mark Cuban Finally Has A Coronary Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Western Conference today, continuing with the series between the New Orleans Hornets and the Dallas Mavericks, which begins Saturday....
Free Darko On New Orleans-Dallas
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the New Orleans Hornets-Dallas Mavericks series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
Clay Bennett Is Happy To Screw Oklahoma Too
For some reason, we imagined Oklahoma City welcoming Clay Bennett and the Sonics with arms extended, lying prostrate, screaming "thank you" to the heavens. Anytime someone does something to a city as horrible as what Bennett has done to Seattle, there has to be someone who benefits, right? Other tha...
Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...