ric Page 684 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hasselhoff, Nowitzki Lead Mavs Past Spurs
Boy, man, is Mark Cuban's billion-dollar penis ever gonna come out and play tonight....

It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...

I Believe Dirk and David Hasselhoff Would Approve
I feel like I've seen enough "Lazy Sunday" parodies to last me for the rest of my life. I appreciated the original SNL bit as much as anyone, but at some point, it turned into nothing more than a license for young white people to make their own rap videos. Rarely will any good come from that....

And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......

Four Tiny Tidbits On: Costa Rica
The World Cup is ominously close! So that you aren't caught offside (they have that in soccer, right?), we're previewing all the participants, bringing you Four Things You Don't Know About Them. If you have a tidbit, send it along to [email protected]. Today: Costa Rica! And for World Cup previews...

Maurice Drew Hates Your Nerd Ass Too
We received this photo of former-UCLA, now-Jacksonville running back Maurice Drew a while back, and we decided not to run it, mainly because it's hard to blame a guy when someone decides to take a picture of a guy holding a blunt next to him while sleeping. Besides, that fellow looks like a really f...

Dirk Nowitzki Gets His Hasselhoff On
We suppose, had we put two and two together, we could have seen this coming. In a way, it has a certain spectacular cosmic inevitability....

Somehow ... The Series Is TIED?
As we wait for Mark Cuban to sleep off what is almost certainly an enormous (and well-earned) hangover, we turn our morning attentions to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. (No offense to the Mavericks, of course; we are one step closer to the sublime possibility of David Stern handing the ...

Hey, These Playoffs Are Getting Kind Of Fun
If you're one of those cynical souls who doesn't take Rasheed Wallace's word as gospel, we should be in for quite an intriguing evening of basketball. In the first game, we get to find out if this will be a forgettable early chapter in LeBron James' playoff career or if becomes something unique, spe...

Sutcliffe Tries To Solve That Thing
USA Today's Michael Heistand has the scoop this morning: ESPN's Rick Sutcliffe has been suspended from calling tonight's Red Sox-Orioles game....

And Here's Your Rick Sutcliffe Video
We asked for it, and you provided it: The complete video of Rick Sutcliffe's drunken meltdown on the Padres' telecast Wednesday night. Whoever posted the video was kind enough, in the middle of the video, to give us closeups of the announcers' faces, particularly play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian, wh...

Rick Sutcliffe ... Bombed!
Earlier today, we wondered why Bill Murray was hanging out in San Diego while his Cubs were in San Francisco. We now have our answer: He was getting blasted with Rick Sutcliffe....

One Very Expensive Post
We're off to a very Mark Cuban morning around here. As you might have heard, the Mavericks owner was fined $200,000 by the NBA for running onto the court to protest the refereeing last week and, more to the point, a blog entry he wrote suggesting a new way to select playoff officials....

Where In NYC Is Ricky Williams?
Somewhere in New York City right now, Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams is in an office building, appealing his suspension for drug abuse. (Hey ... we're in New York! Is that Ricky over there?) Apparently, they moved the location of the hearing to avoid all the reporters camped out in fro...

"Healthy Woman Roof"
A story yesterday in The New York Times detailed when Americans get sayings from other countries as tattoos ... and those sayings turn out to be wrong. The story includes the famous Britney Spears mixup, when she got a Chinese tattoo she thought said "mysterious" but actually said "strange."...

Yeah, Steroids Will Totally Ruin Your Life
It was pointed out when Yankees Meat Loaf impersonator Jason Giambi admitted to taking steroids in front of the BALCO grand jury that steroids worked out just fine for him. A year after it was confirmed by Giambi was taking steroids, he signed a nine-digit contract with the Yankees. Ask him, in da...

Shani Davis Twists The Knife
As the late games tip off, let me step in for a second and divert your attention to speed skating. Shani Davis, at the ISU world all-around speedskating championships, set a new world record in the mens 1500m. The previous record holder? A guy named Chad Hedrick....

Dan Le Batard Horrifies You The Most
Congratulations to Dan Le Batard, who you say has the most terrifying ESPN: The Magazine mugshot. It was a tight race, with Le Batard — who was joking about the mugshots and this poll on his radio show yesterday, quoting from several of our great commenters — edging out Stuart Scott (who actually ...

Poll: Scariest ESPN Mag Mugshots
Yesterday, we tried to figure out what was going on with Bill Simmons' ridiculous mugshot in ESPN: The Magazine. Well, now we've got copies of all four main mugshots in the magazine, and they're inexplicable. And horrifying. Take a look at them below, and let us know which one makes you want to c...

See? We Didn't Make It Up
Whew. Don Nelson really was there. Thank God. We honestly feared our brain might have gone bye-bye there for a moment....