rio Page 295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Warriors Guard Charlie Bell Showed Up Drunk To His Hearing On Drunk Driving Charges
Charlie Bell, a reserve guard for the Warriors, showed up legally drunk to a hearing on his drunken driving case in Michigan yesterday. He sobered up in a holding cell. At least there wasn't a box cutter involved this time. [SF Gate, via I Am A GM]...

David Lee Watched Phil Hellmuth Play Poker Into The Wee Hours Last Night
Tipster Calvin writes in, frankly:...

"Mele Kalikimaka!" BYU-Hawai'i Game Delayed By A Bad Santa
This clip's as funny for the commentary provided by ESPN2's Carter Blackburn & Brock Huard as it is the visual of a man in full Santa Claus getup "streaking" in the third quarter of the BYU-Hawai'i game at Aloha Stadium tonight. (They like doing this sort of thing there, as you might remember from...

Head Injuries Make Rob Gronkowski Giggle
Rob Gronkowski, Patriots tight end and friend to at least one porn star, scored two touchdowns in New England's 34-3 win over Kansas City last night....

Because Any Time You Beat The 63rd Best Team In College Basketball, You Have To Rush The Court
George Mason had a miracle tourney run six seasons ago, didn't receive a single vote in this week's AP Top 25, and are ranked 63rd in KenPom's ratings. Florida Atlantic students apparently didn't get the memo, and stormed the court after their overtime win over the Patriots this weekend. Because y...

Let's Watch The Patriots' Julian Edelman Somewhat Improbably Return This Punt For A Touchdown
Julian Edelman's been everywhere on the field for the Patriots tonight—making tackles on coverage teams and now returning a punt 72 yards to paydirt. It made for 24 (and counting) unanswered points against the Chiefs, and you probably forgot that he's done this before....

Laundry Basket: The Orioles Present Their New-Old Cartoon Bird, With Old-New Typo
Deadspin presents Laundry Basket, an occasional look at the aesthetics and meaning of sports uniforms. Not affiliated with the venerable and comprehensive Uni Watch franchise. Logos via sportslogos.net....

Jack The Ripper Spoiled The Unveiling Of Canada's Newest Baseball Team, The London Rippers
The group behind London, Ontario's newest pro baseball team, the Rippers, claims not to have had one of the most infamous serial killers in mind when they chose the name and designed the logo seen here. London, Ontario's "Ripper" is a man hiding behind a cape, wearing a top hat, and wielding a baseb...

New Reality Star Anna Benson Says The Mets Were "Scared Of My Big Fun Bags"
Anna Benson, the buxom brunette who has long had the distinction of being more famous than her husband, a former journeyman Major League pitcher named Kris, is going to star in VH1's new reality series, "Baseball Wives," according to the New York Post....

I'm Pretty Sure David Brooks Just Blamed The Penn State Riots On Woodstock
We missed it over the weekend, but our man Pierce found this little turd of cultural intellection dropped by the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy. Here's David Brooks responding to host David Gregory on Sunday's Meet the Press (if you're unfamiliar, Meet the Press used to be the Buffalo Bills pregame show). ...

How Rex Ryan Created The New-Look Patriots
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Baltimore Orioles' Depressing GM Search, And Their Even More Depressing New GM
Jonathan Bernhardt has a post up about Dan Duquette and the Orioles' new union, and all the attendant doom. A snippet: "Dan Duquette has walked into the worst job in baseball with a smile. And why not? He literally has nowhere better to be." Now get to reading the whole thing. [Et tu, Mr. Destructo?...

1,000 Words: Here's A Grown Man With A Jet On His Head Pantomiming Blowing His Brains Out
We think that's the ol' gun-in-the-mouth. We hope it's not this. [via Seth Rosenthal]...

Bill Belichick On Last Night's Win Over Jets: "37 Points On The Best Defense In The League, Suck My Dick”
Per the suddenly demure New York Post:...

Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
After an exciting day lets all wind down and not have a heart attack watching the Jets play the Patriots. Your thoughts, as always, down below....

The Saddest Sad Faces Of Sad Penn State Bros
Bros, we must mourn. The greatest bro of all, Joe Paterno—whom one could affectionately refer to as Bro Paternbro—has been fired as head coach of PSU football. Life will never be the same, bros. Football will never be so pure again. Hang your head, remove your backwards New Era cap, and say a prayer...

This Penn State Student Is The Face And Two Fingers Of The State College Sweatpants Riots
Your morning roundup for Nov. 10, the day we learned that the Internet is a dangerous place. Photo via Tom B. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

America Tips Ashton Kutcher Like WTAJ News Van After Paterno Tweet
Ashton Kutcher must have missed the SB Nation advisory board meeting this week. Somebody save him before the internet dines on his entrails. Actually, that can wait. [NESN]...

Penn State Uses Campuswide Alert System To Tell Rioting Students To Go Home
Via The School Philly....

Here's Video Of Rioting Penn State Students Flipping A News Van (And Other Fun Videos)
The scene gets intermittently ugly on Beaver Avenue, with the first casualty the WTAJ news van. It's fair to say most students on the streets are well-behaved, just coming outside to see what happens. There are also a lot of shitheads out there tonight....