rio Page 306 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No, ESPN Did Not Tell The MNF Coaches To Take Timeouts (UPDATE)
Paranoia swept the blogosphere this morning, as word spread like wildfire that ESPN had told the Jaguars and Titans to use their timeouts at the end of a blowout to get more commercial breaks. Great story. Too bad it's not true....

The Steinbrenner Family Doesn't Want You To Know George Had A Heart, Penis
Let's take some time to think about George Steinbrenner as a sexual being. One who, at 16, was filled with "Pools and Puddles of Purple Passion." Everyone grossed out? Good. So are the Steinbrenners....

Breaking: Poynter Still A Collection Of Media Bores Who Wouldn't Know A Joke If It Held A Two-Hour Seminar On "Humor In The Media"
Hey, Gregory Favre and the rest of the Poynter Tight-Ass Marching and Chowder Society: This? It was a joke....

Scary, Ski-Masked Serbian Homophobes Disrupt Euro Cup Qualifier
Tuesday's Italy-Serbia Euro qualifier was called before it began when rioters, protesting the Serbian government's offer to protect a gay pride parade, burned flags, lit flares, and did other rioty things. [SB Nation]...

Did An L.A. Police Watchdog Bend Ethical Rules For Jay Mariotti?
The head of the Los Angeles police union has voiced concerns about attorney and LAPD civilian oversight board member Debra Wong Yang's brief representation of Jay Mariotti who, in a no-contest plea deal, saw six misdemeanor counts dropped....

Here's A Waving Otter To Clear Your Heads Of Dong For The Weekend
Aww, he thinks he's people. Go here for more dong-free sweetness....

Studies Show Legs Aren't Supposed To Bend That Way
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cracking The Case Of The Oscar Winner Who Hooked Up With Matthew Berry's Friend
When we last checked in, Matthew Berry's friend had gotten some strange from a Hollywood actress and it was evidently a big deal—assuming Matthew Berry has friends who look like Matthew Berry. The case was cold, until now....

Wayne Rooney Is Not An Animal. Wayne Rooney Is A Human Being.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mariotti Pleads No Contest
Jay Mariotti pleaded no contest to a single count of misdemeanor domestic violence; the six remaining charges were dropped. Says his attorney: "Today's resolution ... ends the matter once and for all." Right. No one will ever mention this again. [LAT]...

Rio Ferdinand Refuses To Sit During Flight To Valencia In Order To Protect His Flimsy Back
Before we start, here's an unbelievable stat: Rio Ferdinand has missed 61 of Manchester United's last 103 games. That must be very near, or even worse than, benchmark crock Ledley King?...

Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....

100-Foot Super Mario Game Plays Out In MLS Stands
Supporters of the Chicago Fire put together this impressive tifo (basically the soccer equivalent of those North Korean card stunts) over the weekend featuring Mario, a Koopa Troopa, and one on-target fireball....

Let's See What Happens When A Baltimore Oriole Meets A Flight Attendant
And now, a feel-good post to close the day....

Fight Night On 9/11: A Lust For Destructo Porn And The Folly Of Creative Boxing
LAS VEGAS — On Sept. 11, firefighters in Clark County, Nev., somberly parked their trucks in front of the New York, New York casino, complementing a fake NY Fire boat on a fake lake underneath a fake Statue of Liberty....

Tom Brady Wishes Patriots Fans Were More Like Jets Fans
Brady wasn't pleased with Gillette Stadium emptying out early in the fourth quarter of Sunday's game, and noted that Jets fans would never leave with time remaining. Well, sure, but that's because of Rex Ryan's gravitational pull. [Boston Herald]...

Pro Football Doubletalk
We missed the initial to-do over the scene depicted here, wherein Albert Haynesworth mills around enormously in the vicinity of a defensive meeting, but it's since become something of a Rorschach that determines if you're a sensible human being or Mike Florio....

Jay Mariotti Charged With Domestic Violence And Purse Snatching
Mariotti faces seven misdemeanor charges (including one for taking his girlfriend's purse), each count carrying a maximum sentence of a year in prison. His arraignment is on Friday; anyone want to check it out for us? [LA Times]...

Deadspin Classic: Sean Salisbury, Mayor Of Miami
Originally published Jan. 31, 2007...

Last Night's Winner: Tom Brady's Indomitable Will
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tom Brady, who had kind of a big day yesterday....