rip Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Serena Williams Wins Gold Medal, Crip Walks Into Our Hearts
Holy shit. Serena Williams just won her gold-medal match against Maria Sharapova, and she won it in dominant fashion. Williams's bushwhacking of Sharapova was over in just under an hour, as she took the match 6-0, 6-1. Sharapova was lucky to take even one game, because Williams was at the absolute ...

Neil Reed, Former Indiana Basketball Player Once Choked By Bob Knight, Has Died
That's according to the Santa Maria (Calif.) Times, which cited faculty members at Pioneer Valley High School, where Reed coached basketball and golf:...

Cal Ripken's Mom Safe After Tuesday Morning Abduction At Gunpoint
There's not a whole lot of information available on this story yet, but what is is crazy:...

Greek Olympian Banned For Racist Twitter Joke
If we learned anything from Euro 2012, it's that Euros can be casually racist on a stunning level. But how about some casual racism infecting the Olympic spirit? Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou will not be going to London, just two days after a tweet that seems to have sent the whole nation i...

The Olympics Opening Ceremony? Giant Voldemort Fighting 30 Mary Poppinses, Obviously
London's Sunday Times is reporting that Friday's Olympics opening ceremony may not be unwatchably boring. According to Yahoo, which excerpted parts of the Times' subscription-only story, a 40-foot Voldemort (hologram? parade float? ventriloquist's dummy?) will take center stage for the ceremony and ...

Minor League Mascot Eats It In ATV Crash
Rip Tide, blue fursuited embodiment of the Triple A Norfolk Tides, was out for his usual four-wheeler cruise around the stadium when he took the right field turn a little too sharp. Rip Tide was unharmed but embarrassed (especially when he couldn't get his ATV running again), and I think The Oriol...

Our Race Horses Are Broken, America
Our horses are sick. Our thoroughbreds are thoroughly inbred. They are locomotives sitting atop toothpicks. They are fragile and friable, designed to run but not to recover from running. And each time they break down or wear out, we chalk it up to an individual horse's shortcomings, rather than the ...

Guy Sues Strip Club For Billing $50,000 To His Credit Card
Lokesh Simon James went to the Bliss Cabaret in Clearwater, Fla., one night in March. He estimates having spent $600 in three hours. His credit card bill later indicated he rang up $50,000, and because James admits he was at the club on the night in question, his credit card company refuses to count...

How Do You Get The Contest Out Of Your System? Trying To Answer The Only Question On Anybody's Mind At Nathan's
The Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest is a lot of things—patriotic, promotional, repellant—but above all, the contest is a study in misdirection. Like so many of Coney Island's storied card sharks and freak shows, the contest succeeds by distracting its audience, pl...

Here's The Andy Griffith Stand-Up Routine About Football That Gave Him His Start In 1953
Film and television star Andy Griffith is dead at 86, and the star of Matlock and The Andy Griffith Show is being properly memorialized across the media world today. While he's best known for his work on television, it's worth revisiting how Griffith got his start: in standup comedy....

Steven Soderbergh Whips It Out. <i>Magic Mike</i>, Reviewed.
As Steven Soderbergh gets closer to the retirement he swears will be happening next year, it's tempting for us who love his movies to wish he'd go out with one last major opus, some sort of legacy-defining masterpiece. So maybe that's why it's good that he clearly doesn't seem interested in doing an...

How "Seven Nation Army" Conquered The Sports World
The Euro 2012 semifinals kick off today, and 69 goals in, you might have noticed one fan chant being sung after every single one. How did an eminently chantable White Stripes ditty become soccer's universal goal celebration? This piece, originally published Jan. 13, 2012, has your answers....

A Mural Featuring Mike McQueary Tastefully Adorns Happy Valley Titty Bar
Reader Jayme recently returned from a trip to the End Zone Club, a titty joint located in scenic Port Matilda, Pa., just 13 miles away from the Penn State campus. He files this report:...

I'll Have Another Scratched From Belmont Stakes
There will be no Triple Crown this year, either. Doug O'Neill, the trainer for I'll Have Another, just went on The Dan Patrick Show and declared the horse is "officially out" of tomorrow's Belmont Stakes because of a "little problem with his left front leg." O'Neill also thinks I'll Have Another wi...

Samantha Steele Mixes Up Her Indian-American Spelling Bee Contestants
After a National Spelling Bee filled with children holding back tears in front of a national audience, the academic equivalent of pageant moms, and every appearance from the wonderfully weird home-schooled girl from Philly, it took ESPN's poor sideline reporter to give us the most cringeworthy mom...

I'll Have Another Barely Escapes Assassin Horse (Shadowy Steinbrenner Cabal Update!)
At Belmont Park today, a still-unidentified horse took a gallop at I'll Have Another, just nine days before he makes his run at the Triple Crown. The mysterious horse, possible awoken from a Manchurian Candidate trance by a secret word ("oats"), threw her rider and ran down the track, directly at I'...

"Sabermetrics" Was A Word In The Scripps National Spelling Bee
The Scripps National Spelling Bee, which alongside poker, cheerleading, and hot dog eating constitute the E for Entertainment in ESPN, featured an actual sports word in the third preliminary round of its competition today in Washington, D.C. as "sabermetrics" made its appearance....

Doug O'Neill, Trainer Of I'll Have Another, Will Be Suspended For Non-I'll Have Another Infraction
The California Racing Board has upheld a punishment of Doug O'Neill, trainer for Triple Crown hopeful I'll Have Another, in connection with an incident in a race nearly two years ago. In that case, Argenta, a horse trained by O'Neill, showed an overly high level of carbon dioxide in its blood. That'...

I'll Have Another's Trainer Talks Strategy With His Horse, But Quietly, So Other Horses Don't Overhear
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Doug O'Neill and I'll Have Another have some secrets heading to Belmont....

I'll Have Another Wins Preakness, Forcing All Of Us To Watch The Belmont Stakes In Three Weeks
I'll Have Another nosed out a Preakness Stakes victory over Bodemeister with a late surge, ruining plans of a million Americans who'd scheduled something other than watching horse racing on June 9th. ...