rip Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Youth Golfers Get Blindsided By Boob-Infested Golf Outing
A golf team of pre-teen youngsters got a little more than they expected when they showed up for their junior club golf outing on Monday. Due to a scheduling "miscommunication" the lucky kids got to share the clubhouse with the annual Shotgun Willie's Charity Golf Tournament, an event sponsored by a ...

Live Blog: Belmont Stakes
Can no-longer-Hooters-sponsored Big Brown be the first Triple Crown winner since Carl Yastrzemski Affirmed in 1978? In the 30 years since, 10 horses have been in Big Brown's position, looking for the sweep. With Japanese import Casino Drive gone, what was already being called a certain victory by t...

Noun. 1.) A Generalized Loss Of Feeling In The Testicles 2.) Roger Clemens
With Erin Andrews frolicking around backstage, who could blame eventual grand champion of the spelling world Sameer Mishra to let loose a little Freudian slip? How else is he supposed to sublimate that sexual energy? Rub your finger on your hand any harder and it's playing with yourself....

Which Speller Will Have The Best Chance At Bagging Erin Andrews?
In commemoration of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker makes a brief return. Email him to let him know what you think....

About Last Night
What you missed while watching the most realistic portrayal of Helen Keller ever…...

They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...

John Marzano Dead At 45
Over the weekend, some sad news out of Philly, as MLB.com broadcaster John Marzano was found dead in his home at the age of 45. Details are a little sketchy at this point, but it appears Marzano either had a heart attack or fell down the stairs....

Who's Sorry Now? Melo Edition
There is possibly no one on earth who is sorrier than Carmelo Anthony right now; his DUI arrest on Monday has placed him in a state of regret that can actually be seen from space. Call it the Great Wall of Remorse. We just couldn't ignore it here at Who's Sorry Now. Here's his statement, found on th...

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend
Everybody has a favorite sports urban legend. Some like the Rafael Palmeiro Sleeps With Ryne Sandberg's Wife one. Others are fans of the Kevin Mitchell Cuts The Heads Of Cats one. Our preference has always been the Orioles Canceled A Game Because Cal Ripken Couldn't Play Because He Found Kevin Costn...

Who's Sorry Now? Golf Edition
It's bad enough that your name is John Henry Isenhour III. But now word has leaked that you killed a protected species of hawk with a golf drive, on purpose, and there are criminal charges pending against you. Poor dumb sap. The only thing remaining of course is a phony, slapdash apology. Take it aw...

Isiah Thomas' Knicks Legacy, Summed Up In One Possession
You might have seen this already, but honestly: We've yet to see one play encapsulate a team's season more accurately than this Zach Randolph "possession" right here....

The Super Bowl Brings Out All The High Rollers
Because no one can ever get enough insane Craig's List postings, Eye On Foxborough has found a particularly fun fellow who is trying to rent his house out for the Super Bowl. No big deal, right? Well, how about some strippers?...

Our Field Trip To Madison Square Garden
For the third consecutive year, in the tradition of batting against John Rocker and playing touch football with Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, we accepted an invitation from the fine folks at "Pros Vs. Joes" to — get ready — play two-on-two hoops against Charles Oakley and Charles Smith. At Madi...

What Happens In SportRobe, Stays in SportRobe
Attention bloggers: There's now no reason to ever again wear pants. The SportRobe is here! (No truth to the rumors that the Orioles are using these as their actual home uniforms). Several models available; and we suppose that Marbury is wearing his pretty much constantly. And Seaver, of course, rout...

R.I.P. Sean Taylor
After struggling all day yesterday, Redskins safety Sean Taylor died this morning from his wounds after a shooting in his home Monday....

Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....

About Last Night
What you missed while bravely striking out against Halloween and all it represents ... • NFL: Reggie is Mr. October ... Saints finally get a win, 28-17 over Schmohawks. • MLB: Rockies' 20-1 run have them one win from World Series. The 1907 Cubs are not impressed. • NHL: The Sakic Brand ... more good...

What's The Next Scrotum-Ripping Situation To Happen Between Rival Sports Fans?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Our Rick Ankiel Weekend
It really has been bizarre to watch the reaction to Rick Ankiel's triumphant return to St. Louis as a power-hitting outfielder. We understand that it's an inspiring story — obviously — but it's still odd to see a guy we've been quietly stalking following for seven years now suddenly leading newscast...

The OTHER Cardinals Story From Yesterday
Say what you will about the Cardinals, but they know how to handle PR. Postseason stud and cult hero needs to go to rehab for substance abuse? Hey, bring up Ankiel! A happy story to drown out the ugly one. And it absolutely worked....