rist Page 71 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wanting To Trade Kristaps Porzingis Isn't Even The Dumbest Part
Let’s say you had a car—like, just hypothetically, let’s say you had an extremely rare 7-foot-3 Latvian car that could shoot three-pointers and block shots and run the floor like a much smaller and nimbler car—but you wanted to trade it for a cooler car. Hell, let’s say you’re a big dumb idiot, and...
Phil Jackson's Favorite Stooge Tries To Sell A Kristaps Porzingis Trade
Knicks fans reached a new level of panic last night when Phil Jackson, currently inhabited by an ancient Sumerian god hell-bent on destroying basketball in New York City, gave an interview in which he assured everyone that, yes, he is seriously considering trading Kristaps Porzingis, a 21-year-old, ...
An Update On Phil Jackson's Idiot Crusade To Ruin Everything Good For The Knicks
By the hour, it looks less and less likely that the Knicks will decide to keep the best thing they have going for them—Kristaps Porzingis, the young budding star whom they want to trade away for... a draft pick in order to acquire Josh Jackson of Kansas, per the latest from Adrian Wojnarowski of Yah...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Hissy Fit Is Reportedly Almost Over
It hasn’t even been a full week since Cristiano Ronaldo’s camp began leaking to anyone who’d listen that he was done with Spain and had resolved to leave Real Madrid, a supposedly “irreversible” decision borne of his deep feelings of persecution because the Spanish government has taken issue with hi...
Kristaps Porzingis Has Produced The Only Relatable Athlete Workout Videos
This afternoon LeBron James posted a video of himself kneeling on a rubber sphere while waggling a large rubbery wand, that, per our own Tim Burke’s experiences, is liable to knock you right on your ass should you stop waggling it at the right rate. Every fiber of James’s action-figure torso strains...
Put Phil Jackson In Jail And Then Put The Jail In Space
Phil Jackson had millions of sad, tri-state area sphincters clenching after an April presser when he said there was no player on the Knicks who was safe from the trading block. They stayed clenched when Kristaps Porzingis skipped his exit meetings, apparently frustrated after wading through this sew...
Reports: Cristiano Ronaldo Wants To Leave Real Madrid (It's Not Going To Happen)
A transfer window isn’t a transfer window without rumors that Cristiano Ronaldo might be on the move, and despite playing the hero in Real Madrid’s historic back-to-back Champions League trophies and snatching away the league title from Barcelona and all but certainly locking up a fifth Ballon d’Or ...
The Twins Unleashed High-Powered Offensive Chaos On The Poor Mariners
If you’re looking for a single image to serve as an encapsulation of the Mariners’ 20-7 loss against the Twins tonight, it’s tempting to go with starter Christian Bergman grimacing after allowing his first home run of the night or doing the same after his second home run or exiting in the third inni...
Liquor Store Soccer Team Scores First Against D.C. United
Christos FC, an amateur Baltimore soccer team that never practices and is headquartered in a liquor store, is playing a fourth-round U.S. Open Cup match against D.C. United of MLS tonight. In the 23rd minute, Mamadou Kansaye scored on a free kick to give his club a 1-0 lead over the three-time Open ...
Terrible Columnist Argues Bill Cosby Is Not A Rapist Because She Liked <i>The Cosby Show</i>
Without hyperbole, we have found one of the worst major-newspaper columns since Mark Whicker left the yard....
Cristiano Ronaldo Charged With Tax Fraud For Evading Nearly €15 Million In Taxes
Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo has officially been charged by Spain’s prosecutor’s office for allegedly failing to pay taxes on €14.7 million of income from the years 2011 to 2014....
Ahh, It's Beautiful
David West’s passionate moment with Tristan Thompson touched us all....
Toilet Warrior Lance Berkman Will Speak At Cardinals' Christian Day
Lance Berkman, the former baseball player and man who was previously terrified of “troubled men” sneaking into women’s bathrooms, will be the St. Louis Cardinals’ guest for the team’s Christian Day on July 30....
It Takes A Village To Beat The Warriors
After charring the bones of the Cavaliers during the first three games of the NBA Finals and every other playoff opponent before them, the Golden State Warriors finally lost. The dream of 4-4-4-4 is dead and the Warriors now hold the most dangerous lead in sports. ...
Christian Pulisic Is Restoring My Faith In U.S. Soccer
There was, I must admit, a moment there before the start of last night’s crucial USA vs. Trinidad and Tobago World Cup qualifier when I thought it would be better if the U.S. blew the match and the next couple and wound up missing out on next summer’s World Cup....
U.S. Beat Trinidad & Tobago Thanks To Pair Of Christian Pulisic Goals
A pair of gorgeous second-half goals by America’s Wonderteen gave the U.S. a 2-0 World Cup qualifier win tonight in Denver over Trinidad and Tobago....
This Is The Fastest 100-Meter Dash In NCAA History
The Tennessee Volunteers’ Christian Coleman is in top form as his collegiate season comes to a close. The runner-up in both the 100m and 200m last year, Coleman completely destroyed tonight’s semifinal heat at the NCAA Championships, and then some. But his time was off the charts: a wind-legal 9.82 ...
War Machine Gets Life In Prison For Sexually Assaulting And Kidnapping Christy Mack
Former professional MMA fighter War Machine (born Jon Koppenhaver) was found guilty by a Las Vegas jury in March of 29 charges, including sexual assault and battery with a deadly weapon, after he attacked his ex-girlfriend Christy Mack and her friend Corey Thomas in 2014. He was charged with 34 coun...
Takkarist McKinley Is Enjoying Life
Atlanta Falcons defensive end Takkarist McKinley, who stole the show at the NFL draft when he gave an emotional speech while holding a framed photograph of his grandmother, recently signed his rookie contract with the Falcons. Let’s check in to see how things are going for him:...
The Giants Finally Broke A Very Sad Streak
The Giants narrowly avoided a sweep by the Mets yesterday afternoon, which would have been the second consecutive series sweep for them. A win is a win (and this one doesn’t change the Giants’ standing as the worst team in baseball by record), but the victory was notable for one astonishing fact: ...