rist Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Astonishing Astrophysics!" Ronaldo Scores Bouncing Free Kick Goal
Cristiano Ronaldo put Real Madrid up 1-0 on Eibar today with this knuckler of a free kick that left the keeper totally, in Ray Hudson’s words, “bamboozled.” His whole call is, as usual, a gem:...

Dee Gordon Dunks On Christian Yelich During Post-Game Interview
The Marlins earned a big walkoff win against the Rays last night in Miami, with Christian Yelich delivering the clutch hit. Then Dee Gordon dunked all over him during his live post-game interview: ...

Florida Gators Wide Receiver Charged With Dating Violence
The Gainesville Sun reported today that University of Florida wide receiver Chris Thompson was charged last week with “misdemeanor simple battery/dating violence.” The charge concerns an argument Thompson had with an ex-girlfriend over text messages:...

Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...

How Dinesh D'Souza Damaged My Faith
So conservative superstar Dinesh D'Souza recently went on Hannity and insisted that opposition to Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act "is a selective attack on Christianity," which might surprise those of you who thought it was simply about denying gay people the right to have Gay Pizza ...

The Time 9/11 Happened During Cristiano Ronaldo's First TV Interview
Hey, Ronaldo's first televised interview! What a skinny little lad he was! Just chatting away with a buddy on the subway! And what teeth! Nice little pad there, Ronny! Bet you played that PS2 a lot, huh! Oh, to just be watching the boob tube with the...uh, is that an airplane crashing into the World...

Chicago Sports Radio Guys Take To Twitter To Discuss Reporter's Breasts
Matt Spiegel and Dan Bernstein work for 670 The Score in Chicago. Spiegel has a radio show; Bernstein has a column, a radio show, and hot takes on Derrick Rose. Wednesday night, the two took to Twitter to discuss CSN Chicago reporter Aiyana Cristal. The conversation started with Spiegel expressing p...

Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...

Cristiano Ronaldo Reminds Us Why He's So Likable
In a weekend that saw Lionel Messi overtake Cristiano Ronaldo as the Spanish league's top scorer this season, Ronaldo can rest easy knowing his Argentine rival isn't likely to catch up to another one of his records: that of world's most-liked Facebook page. What makes him so beloved? Well, besides t...

Christian Laettner Is Still Sore About The Fab Five's Shit-Talking
One of the best parts of the Fab Five 30 for 30 documentary was seeing that Jalen Rose, Jimmy King, and Juwan Howard hated former Duke star Christian Laettner just as much as everyone else in America did. Well, Laettner's got his own 30 for 30 doc coming out soon, and he's been whining about the Fab...

USWNT Striker Christen Press Is Way Too Fast
Like, those six players the USWNT's Christen Press runs past aren't scrubs. That's France, one of the best national teams in the world. And even they can't keep up with Press as, with two wicked bursts, she flies past them like they're stuck in quicksand before passing the ball into the back of th...

Racing Club's Ingenious Goal Is Why We Need More Free Kick Shenanigans
Seriously, why isn't there more experimentation on free kicks? As Racing Club proved in the Copa Libertadores last night, there are trickier, probably more effective ways to score from a dead ball than just thumping it vaguely towards goal. We have enough evidence. Let's put it to use....

Cristiano Ronaldo's Forehead Saved Real Madrid's Ass
Ugh. Uggggghhhhhhhh. Just when we looked so close to seeing this shaky Real Madrid team gag up their 2-0 first leg lead in the Champions League to Schalke, of all teams, up sprang that leaping salmon Cristiano Ronaldo to save the day....

This DJ Who Interviewed Bobby Brown's Nephew Is The Actual Antichrist
Before we get into this, I just want to state for the record and for my mother that I am of the opinion that this video is actually too raw for Deadspin. We've published real, actual porn on Deadspin. We've published scores of dicks, and some vaginas besides, and a respectable amount of butt action ...

Almost Famous: The B+ Adventures Of Robert Christgau
Bob Christgau, the semi-mockingly self-styled Dean of American Rock Critics, diets on Mondays and Tuesdays, so on this particular Monday in December, lunch is just a small to-go bowl of chicken noodle soup from the Polish Deli across the street from his East Village apartment. He eats at his clutt...

Cristiano Ronaldo Sings, Drops It Like It's Hot At Birthday Party
Real Madrid’s crushing defeat at the hands of rivals Atlético almost put a damper on that night’s previously scheduled party in celebration of Cristiano Ronaldo turning 30. Almost. Instead of feeling too down, Cristiano decided to sing and boogie the night away. Here’s a GIF of his best move from th...

Carlos Lobatón Scores Surprising Outside Of The Foot Olímpico
On Sunday we saw Michael Bradley pull off an Olímpico during a friendly, and just two days later it has already been topped. This is the Peruvian Carlos Lobatón hitting an outside of the foot Olímpico for Sporting Cristal, against Cienciano in the Torneo del Inca, Peru's version of the FA Cup....

Free-Kick King Christian Eriksen Scores Another Beautiful Bender
Christian Eriksen has neither the rep, the unique technique, nor the iconic stance of Cristiano Ronaldo and his free kicks, but on the low, he might have the best right foot in the world when it comes to thwapping balls into the goal from any and every angle on set pieces....

Jay Cutler Is One Fed Up Dad
I've always wondered exactly what kind of dad surly-ass Jay Cutler is. Thanks to this Instagram post from his wife, Kristin Cavallari, I now have an answer. He's exactly the kind of dad I expected him to be....