rock Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Billy Paultz
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's subject: Billy "The Whopper" Paultz, set to some folk music that sounds simultaneously Mexican and Celtic....

The Most Entertaining Meltdown By A High School Football Color Guy In History
2010_1022_Abington_vs_Rockland_Touchdown_Nullified from Norm Caseley on Vimeo....

Fist-Bumping, Stationary-Bike-Riding Yao Ming Is The Best
Between this and this, Yao Ming is fast becoming one of the most interesting people to watch doing calisthenics. [via @jose3030]...

Kevin Martin: Shooting Guard, Housing Bubble Burstee
Kevin Martin—who will earn $10.6 million this season—has an unorthodox shooting motion and it appears an unorthodox method of paying his mortgage—not paying it. He's defaulted on the loan for his house in suburban Sacramento. [Sacramento Bee]...

This Is What Pittsburgh Looks Like When The Pirates Actually Win Something
That's a picture of the bedlam Pittsburgh saw after the Pirates won the 1960 World Series on a walk-off home run by Bill Mazeroski. Yes, ladies dancing in a circle counts as bedlam....

This Bit of Hard Knocks Fan Fiction Includes A Talking Mustachioed Butt
Ines Sainz. Football. Ass. On-field chaos. The sexy. The unsexy. Yep, this Tauntr video essentially captures most of the overarching themes of today's posts....

Troy Tulowitzki's Monster Month Undermined With A Dirty Song
Tulo hit his 10th and 11th home runs of the month yesterday and is leading the way for the surging Rockies. However, overshadowing Carlos Gonzalez's spectacular season is a real dick move. [Music via David Bartholomew]...

Da'Sean Butler's Very Disturbing Children's Story Has Been Illustrated
Those of you who were too lazy to read "A Short Story" by Da'Sean Butler 140 characters at a time (or even fully transcribed in this post) are in luck. It's been animated!...

Watch And Hear Aaron Cook Fracture His Fibula
Joey Votto broke Colorado Rockies pitcher Aaron Cook's fibula last night on a hard liner and it's really something to hear. Again and again. And again and again and again. [HardballTalk, video via MLB.com]...

63-Year-Old Bill Lee Pitches, Wins
The Grizzled old hippie started a game for the Brockton Rox over the weekend. It was a publicity stunt, sure, but the old dude was still pretty good!...

Thierry Henry And KISS Combine To Form The Most Bizarre Ticket Promotion Of The Month
Put "Strutter" on repeat and head to Dallas because for $40 you can see FC Dallas play New York and then come back two days later for KISS! One of the target audiences here probably feels insulted. [Press Coverage, pic too]...

Vin Scully Doesn't Understand Your Newfangled Haircut, Troy Tulowitzki
In the 6th inning of last night's Rockies-Dodgers game, Vin Scully decided to carefully examine Troy Tulowitzki's hairstyle after learning it is called a mullet, which to Scully had always been—and always will be—a type of fish. Listen. [Wezen-Ball]...

Confusing Chinese Yao Ming Ad Here To Befuddle Us All
This ad, featuring crudely drawn and out-of-proportion representations of Yao Ming, Wang Zhizhi, and Yi Jianlian, is for Chinese manufacturing conglomerate GMC and oddly enough appeared in today's Wall Street Journal. Expect the Rockets to run this on in-bounds plays. [Copyranter]...

Last Night's Winner: Buddy Comedies
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the movie-going public that was treated to a hilarious preview of "Grown Ups" last night. If only all that basketball hadn't been in the way....

The Strange Saga Of Denver's Freestyle-Skiing, Group-Sexing Alleged Pimp
Some athletes retire and open up a car wash or a money-management joint. Scottie Ewing, former BMX rider and professional freestyle skier, skipped the pretense altogether: He opened up a swingers club in Denver. And maybe moonlighted as a pimp....

Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

Calvin Murphy Fires Up The Delonte Got With LeBron's Mom Rumors Again
Hall-of-Famer Calvin Murphy appeared on ESPN Radio in Houston today and as all basketball conversations must do, the topic turned to the rumors about Delonte West's dalliance with LeBron James' mom. Murphy's response: "It ain't no rumor."...

Wince-Inducing Story Of The Day: Miguel Olivo Has A Urethra Of Steel
The Rockies catcher passed a kidney stone during a recent game against the Diamondbacks, then he threw his gear back on and later singled. "I can handle pain a little bit," he said. "Let's play baseball." [Last Angry Fan]...

Rockies President, 48, Found Dead
Rockies president Keli McGregor, said to be "in top physical shape," was found dead this morning in a Salt Lake City hotel room. Cops say he died of natural causes. [Denver Post]...

Watch The Houston Rockets Murder Music
Luis Scola, Chase Budinger and Shane Battier take the stage for Battier's karaoke fundraiser. I'd offer something funnier than "people donated money to get them to stop singing," but I'm busy trying to stanch my ear bleeding. [Click2Houston, via Traina]...