rum Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let’s Remember Some Guys: Donald Trump Knows Ryan Klesko Very Well
When I was a kid, anything glossy and gold meant fancy. It meant expensive. The first premium baseball card set was 1989’s glossy Upper Deck set, which was the one with the Griffey rookie card. Pretty soon everyone got in on it. Fleer and Topps soon released glossy sets. A sort of arms race ensued i...
This Guy Truly Has No Idea What He's Talking About
It is a problem for President Donald Trump that it’s often impossible to tell what the hell he’s talking about. This is not one of those signature Trump defects that can readily be spun into a secret strength or as a subtle bit of advanced dealcraft that only experts and initiates can appreciate. H...
Stop Calling It "Gaslighting"
“Lie” is a great word. It’s a short, to-the-point noun with a universally agreed upon meaning that we all learn before we even enter kindergarten. Call someone a liar, and any English-speaker in the world will require no clarification—they’ll know that someone isn’t telling the truth....
College Football Coaches Love To Get Upset About The Internet
College football coaches, as a general rule, are a weird group of people. The job seems built to attract a specific type of deeply strange person—take the most obsessive and ambitious and aggressive gym teacher possible, then pay him millions of dollars and make him one of the most recognizable and ...
Swiss Army Says It May Scold Mountain Biker For "Mooning" Donald Trump On Instagram
The Swiss Army said it could reprimand world champion mountain biker Nino Schurter for posting a picture of his ass, along with the asses of three others, in front of the White House and tagging Donald Trump....
The Jets Seem Like They're About Done With Trumaine Johnson
Heading into Monday night’s matchup against the Browns, the Jets had to know that the outcome would be in large part dependent on how well they could contain Odell Beckham Jr. It didn’t go great! Beckham caught six balls for 161 yards and a score in Cleveland’s 23-3 win. After the game, all the ques...
Donald Trump Namedrops “Big Strong Guy” Ryan Klesko During Mariano Rivera Ceremony
Donald Trump’s speech this afternoon was relatively lucid. He stayed on topic, and he even used a series of facts to prove his point, which was that Mariano Rivera was the greatest baseball pitcher of all time. It wasn’t quite diplomacy, but this 15-minute speech about baseball might have been the l...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
Donald Trump Is Not Going To Let This Hurricane Thing Go
It can be difficult to remember given that he routinely appears on television with toilet paper on the soles of both his shoes and at least one of his hands stuck in a big jug of peanut butter, but Donald Trump’s opening position in all things is that he has never been wrong. He has been wronged, an...
Look At This Weird Thing Donald Trump Just Belched Up<i></i>
In March, a young whale beached itself in Davao City, in the Philippines. When scientists from the local museum—it is, delightfully, called D’Bone Collector Natural History Museum—did a necropsy on the whale after its death, they discovered that it had starved to death because its stomach contained...
Conor McGregor Sucker-Punches Old Man After Whiskey Argument In Dublin Pub
Conor McGregor still hasn’t decided on his next fight, but in the meantime he’s won an exhibition bout against an old guy who was just trying to have a pint....
Confessions Of A Hoarder On The Road To Guitarmageddon
My name is Dave, and I’m a guitar hoarder....
Tigers Outfielder Generously Guides Kyle Seager's Third Dinger Over The Outfield Wall
It says something about the state of baseball that the least interesting thing about this play, from the top of the ninth inning of an 11–6 Mariners win over the Tigers, is that it was Kyle Seager’s third dinger of the night. Multi-homer games are so common now that they’re becoming passé—for crying...
Who Is The Most Famous Person Ever?
Today, we’re talking about toilet flushing, fame, farts, Trump push-ups and more. ...
Curt Schilling Once Again Threatens To Run For Office
Curt Schilling, former major-league pitcher and World Series hero who squandered away so much goodwill that the Red Sox no longer want anything to do with him, has for the umpteenth time floated the idea of running for office. What makes this time different is that Donald Trump gave him a signal boo...
Brian Flores Encourages Kenny Stills To Keep Stephen Ross Criticisms Private, Like A Real Company Man
In his apt criticism of team owner Stephen Ross’s support of Donald Trump, Dolphins wide receiver Kenny Stills has the truth, accuracy, and righteousness on his side—but not, it seems, his own head coach....
NFL Owners Have Always Been Terrible. It's Just That Now The President Is Worse.
When it comes to marrying brain-frozen, heavily armed plutocracy with mindless and quasi-religious ritual, the National Football League pretty much got there ahead of everybody. The number of NFL owners whose general political and social outlook has progressed past the conventional wisdom of the Art...
The Big President Is Now Wet
Donald Trump goes by many names, but none is more apt than “the Big Wet President,” coined by our David Roth. The second adjective gets at a spiritual if not literal truth: the leader of the free world is always just kind of limply flopping around, even if he rarely glistens in an actual coat of mo...
Kenny Stills Isn't Buying Stephen Ross's Bullshit
After getting called out by his own player, Kenny Stills, for hosting a fundraiser for wet racist Donald Trump, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross attempted to perform some damage control with a limp-dick statement about being buddies with Trump despite disagreeing with him about certain issues:...
Which Premier League Teams Are Good And Which Are Shit?
Everyone has probably had some version of the dream before: naked in class, unprepared for a final exam, publicly humiliated by Jennifer Connelly in a crowded restaurant (this may just be me), tasked with running away from or catching up to something only to find that your feet have turned into cara...