run Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You're Not Going To Believe This, But Ernie Grunfeld Said Something Very Dumb To Defend His Very Dumb Decisions
The Wizards, in their ongoing quest to be the most irrelevant American professional sports team, have now traded away every one of their own second-round draft picks between now and 2024. They’ve dealt three second-round picks in salary dump moves just this season; yesterday they dealt a future seco...
David De Gea Is Proof That Goalkeepers Should Embrace The Kick Save
You can not read the book on goalkeeping because the book does not exist, and that is for the better. A book might be helpful for outlining fundamentals and common techniques, but it might also be an anchor drowning effectiveness in a pool of orthodoxy, a dagger sacrificing creative problem-solving...
One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall, Bradley Beal, or Otto Porter, describing it as essentially a wacky, unworkable, and short-sighted fan theory....
Maryland's Bruno Fernando Stomped On A Nebraska Dude
Maryland’s Bruno Fernando made an enemy out of every man, woman, and child in Nebraska tonight, as in the second half of the Terrapins’ road game against the Cornhuskers, the brilliant big man finished off a dunk with some Ndamukong Suh action on poor Tanner Borschart. Borschart looked like he may h...
Colorado Runner Kills Mountain Lion With His Bare Hands After It Attacks Him
Yesterday afternoon, a trail runner was out for a run alone in the Horsetooth Mountain Open Space area outside of Fort Collins, Colorado, when he was attacked by a mountain lion. The runner said he heard something behind him, and as he turned around to look, the lion attacked him from behind, biting...
Yelling And Grunting Tennis Player Who Wouldn't Shut Up Wins Tournament, Yells Some More
There are plenty of neat facts about 21-year-old Maxime Cressy’s title at the ATP Challenger Cleveland. He’s still a UCLA senior; this was just his second time ever playing a Challenger event; and he had to win seven straight matches, including qualifying. Cressy earned 90 big-league ATP rankings po...
Drunk Heat Fan Tries To Fight Cops, Tumbles Down Several Rows Of Seats
At some point in the Miami Heat’s embarrassing 16-point home defeat to the Bulls last night, cops were called to the top of the lower bowl to deal with an apparently belligerent fan. The fan, 23-year-old Adrain Mato, was apparently arguing with some Bulls fans when the police came and told him to co...
It's Beginning To Feel Like Manchester United Are Back
There’s not a chance in hell Manchester United win the Premier League this season. The odds of them accomplishing what should be the bare minimum for the richest club in the world—finishing in the Champions League places—are better, but hardly great. Barring multiple calamities on the part of a coup...
Please Stop Using Baseball To Describe Football
A home run has never happened in a football game, and yet home runs can be found all over writing about the sport, mainly when it comes to transactions. A new coach is a “home-run hire.” Wow! A team “hit a home run” with its draft picks. Okay!...
Surprise! Paul Pogba Is Still Really Damn Good
Following a half-season of angry training videos, notable benchings, and frothing tension, Paul Pogba wants you to remember that he can still do shit like this: ...
José Mourinho's Failed Tenure At Manchester United Is Finally Over
After two-and-a-half bad and boring seasons at Manchester United, the club announced today in some euphemistic language that manager José Mourinho has been tossed out on his ass. This decision to get rid of Mourinho is both overdue and yet still surprising, which says so much about the ruinous state...
This Is How Liverpool Will Win The Premier League
Liverpool are legitimate contenders to win all the big trophies this season for the simple reason that their starting lineup is crammed full of players who are amongst the very best at their positions. Mohamed Salah, Virgil van Dijk, Alisson, Trent Alexander-Arnold, the forward line generally, the f...
It Must Suck So Hard To Be A Manchester United Fan
Try, if only for a moment, to go inside the mind of a Manchester United fan....
Dwight Howard Needs A Buttectomy
Okay, fine, probably it’s not a buttectomy. But it’s at least a buttotomy or a buttopsy. The butt pain that has kept Dwight Howard out of all but nine Wizards game this season will reportedly require surgery:...
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
The Responsible Adult's Guide To Boozing Around The Holidays
The holidays are here. It may not sink in for you until you’ve heard “Silver Bells” for the umpteenth time at a bar festooned with mistletoe and Christmas lights, or until you notice your weird boss sweating and swaying after one-too-many scotch and sodas, but yeah, the holidays are here. So how do ...
The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team never seriously contended for anything more meaningful than supremacy in the NBA’s Southeast Division. Mutiny is at hand. Soon there will be cannibalism....
Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?!<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about woke Axl Rose, salt, rich assholes who exercise a lot, and more....
Ultrarunner Courtney Dauwalter Takes On The World's Most Sadistic Endurance Race
Gary Cantrell clanged a bell at 6:40 a.m. on Saturday, Oct. 20, signaling 70 runners to jog off into the woods on his farm in Tennessee. They had an hour to complete a 4.1667-mile loop trail. Easy. Most of the group finished with 15 minutes to spare. The bell clanged again at 7:40 a.m., and they ran...
José Mourinho Caps Quintessential Win With Quintessential Assholery
Juventus had little trouble bossing Manchester United in the Champions League today. The Italian team was in control for the vast majority of the match and, if not for some shaky finishing, probably would’ve won with ease. But even during this struggle of a season, United manager José Mourinho prove...