run Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Premier League Title Race Is Impossibly Close And So Much Fun

The enduring memory of this weekend’s Premier League action—from Leicester flirting with disaster against Norwich before pulling it out late on Saturday, to Tottenham and Arsenal struggling to keep their own title hopes alive against Swansea and Manchester United, respectively—is just how stupidly f...

Everybody Get Down

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Marcus Rashford Cannot Be Stopped, Scores Twice On Arsenal In The First Half

Seriously, how did some random kid in Manchester, called up to the United first team purely because of an almost comical, unending stream of injuries, turn into something like the best striker in England in less than a week?...

Defender Admits Manchester United's Memphis Depay Beat His Ass So Bad He Almost Cried

While virtually unknown striker Marcus Rashford’s unbelievable and hilarious two-goal senior team debut was the biggest story coming out of yesterday’s Manchester United-Midtjylland match, the true star on the day was Memphis Depay. He absolutely obliterated the Midtjylland defense, running up and d...

Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]

In their usually fruitless quest to prove they can still compete with the truly elite clubs in world soccer, Manchester United have apparently decided to challenge Bayern Munich for the title of World’s Most Injured Squad. Just a little while ago, the one bright spot during this season of frustratio...

Louis van Gaal Urges His Players To Get Rock Hard For Victory

So that’s what Louis van Gaal means when he says he pumps up Manchester United’s players before matches....

The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True

There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...

God Bless E-40, Whose New Beer Is Absolutely Horrible

Few outside the Bay Area would make the case that E-40 is the best rapper alive, but I submit to you now that he is the most rapper alive. By some quick back-of-the-envelope math, the Vallejo titan has released a million tracks in the last five years; lately, he seems to prefer multi-album sagas rel...

Rangers Fan Hits A Dinger To Win Season Tickets For His Whole Family

The Rangers held the following contest today for those who put down initial deposits on season tickets: show up to Globe Life Park and smack a ball out of it, and the Rangers would cover the rest of the cost of those tickets. One fan, Byron Anderson, crushed it over the left field fence on his third...

Manchester United Are Toast

With a third of the Premier League season left, Manchester United find themselves in fifth place, six points behind Manchester City and the all-important fourth Champions League spot. It’s not impossible for United to pass City, but given their inconsistency this season it’s unlikely....

Soccer Player Gets His Shin Snapped In Nasty Slide Tackle Collision [Kind Of Gross]

It seems like we see one of these at least once every couple months: two players converging on a ball, one going for the slide while the other keeps a foot in to scoop the ball away, and the latter coming out the other side with a flapping tibia. You probably don’t want to see this, but here’s a gif...

Proud Stoner Finishes Last At Olympic Marathon Trials

A day before Sunday’s Los Angeles Marathon, USATF held the Trials for the U.S. Olympic marathon team, with 105 male qualifiers looking to book their trips to Rio. At the end of the day—closer to the end than the beginning, but that’s cool—was Chris Barnicle, solidly in 105th place....

The New Yorker has a nice profile of Kevin Castille, who will compete in this weekend’s Olympic Marathon Trials as the oldest ever men’s qualifier. Castille’s success at 43 might be because of the low mileage on his legs: he spent most of his 20s selling crack cocaine, and then in jail. ...

Roll Recovery Offers to Reimburse Olympic Marathon Trials Entry Fees. Yes, There Is An Entry Fee.

It’s not the thought that counts; it’s the thought plus some small-denomination greenbacks. Boulder-based Roll Recovery (they make those rolling muscle massagers) really dig runners, and running. On February 5, the small company announced they would reimburse all Olympic Marathon Trials qualifiers t...

How To Make A Kick-Ass Sazerac

I’ve never been to New Orleans and don’t know nearly as much as I should about its culture, but I do know Mardi Gras is upon us, and I know that’s good news. Again, not entirely certain what this festival entails—I gather it’s some kind of voodoo St. Patrick’s Day with better-looking celebrants and ...

Chelsea's Kurt Zouma Stretchered Off After Nasty Knee Injury [Warning: Graphic]

Chelsea center back Kurt Zouma went down in a heap after going up for this header and coming down with knee bent the wrong way. He immediately (and audibly) began screaming, and was stretchered off the pitch. ...

Anthony Martial Is Manchester United's Best Player, And That's Their Problem

Judging by the club’s post-Alex Ferguson travails, it would’ve been perfectly fitting if Anthony Martial—Manchester United’s last-minute solution to their attacking woes, who cost the club about two arms and four legs—would’ve turned out to be a bust....

13 Alcoholic Soda Pops, Ranked

American consumption of full-calorie soft drinks has been dropping for years now, as we’ve shown rare nutritional good judgment in demonizing soda as liquefied diabetes that makes you burp your rotted teeth out on the way to your long-overdue early grave....

Olympic Marathon Trials: The Victory Lap For Pretty Darn Good Runners

Of the 259 women and 217 men who qualified for the U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials, only about 10 in each field have an honest chance at finishing in the top three and going to Rio. But hundreds or even thousands more arranged the past four years of their lives around running a marathon or half-maratho...

Chris Martin's Masterful Assist Sets Up Equalizer For Derby County

Manchester United is even 1-1 with Championship side Derby County at the half of their FA Cup match after George Thorne found the net courtesy a gorgeous over-the-top pass from Chris Martin....