run Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Audiobooks Are For Communists And Charles Bronson Villains
We welcome September into our lives and all it has to offer: sweet weather, the NFL, meaningful baseball games and two months before I have to run 13.1 consecutive miles. It's a pretty decent time to be alive; let's talk about why it's not. Here's your Spotify playlist....
Hey, Alleged Adult: Stop Playing Drinking Games
I trust you've heard that school starts right this very instant or at least soon or perhaps recently. Are you ready? Have you bought and thought all the right things relating to educational electronics and the passage of time? Do you have a bushel of new underwear and an inflated sense of self-worth...
Why Was Manchester United's Offseason So Bad?
Let's talk about that Manchester United offseason....
How To Pair Wine With Food: A Guide For Ordinary Drunkards
"Ew, I wouldn't date him. He's a Sauvignon blanc drinker!"...
Alleged Female Idiot On The Field Blows .341 BAC, Has Amazing Twitter
An Idiot on the Field might have made history for being the drunkest Idiot ever recorded as she allegedly tried to jump onto the field during Saturday's Northern Illinois-Iowa game in Iowa City....
When The Treadmill Makes You Hate What You Once Loved
I discovered something this week on the treadmill. God, the treadmill is just the worst. The absolute worst. That's not the discovery. Calling that a discovery is like saying Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas. What I'm saying is: the Vikings were somehow involved in the manufacturing of a...
UNLV Opens Season With First-Quarter Hook & Lateral Play
These are usually desperation gimmicks, used when a team needs to win but is losing late in a game. UNLV, being UNLV, ran the hook & lateral early in its first game of the season....
Ricky Williams: America's Most Blunted
Chris Jones puts one—or many—in the air and gets lifted with Ricky Williams. "The Runaway" appeared in Esquire back in December of 2004:...
Michigan Recruit Breaks Tackles Like A Video Game Character
Paramus (N.J.) Catholic senior Jabrill Peppers, who's already verbally committed to Michigan, is one of the nation's top recruits for the Class of 2014. He's going to play defensive back in college. This is Peppers running for a touchdown during a scrimmage Tuesday against Red Bank (N.J.) Catholic. ...
Will Drinking 28 Non-Alcoholic Beers In An Hour Make Me Drunk?
Back in April, competitive eater and world champion burper Tim "Eater X" Janus contacted us with an idea for "a very cool stunt that I'd like to have documented by a reputable news outlet."...
Watch Hunter Pence Hit The Longest Home Run Of 2013 (So Far)
Hunter Pence demolished a ball in the first inning of tonight's Giants-Rockies game. Even though the feat happened at Coors Field, where balls regularly get knocked out of the park, it's still damn impressive....
Everything Is A Slippery Slope When You Are Weak-Willed
We've got a short playlist this week for a couple of reasons. First, I am at the very beginning of a new training schedule, so we're starting slow at three miles. Second, one of the songs was 16-minutes long. You're going to hate it. Here we go! A Spotify playlist can be found here, and the rest sta...
How To Make A Decent Goddamn Margarita, For Once
People avoid all sorts of boozes for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you're too broke for Scotch or too smug for vodka. Maybe beer bloats and disappoints you. Perhaps the smell of bourbon reminds you of Grandpa's special beatin' shoe. Or maybe you're like I used to be, and you associate tequila with fr...
Confused Hawk Harrelson Gives His Best Home Run Call
In the 12th inning of last night's White Sox-Royals game, White Sox third baseman Connor Gillaspie sent a shot deep into right field. After watching the ball clear the fence but carom back onto the field of play, White Sox play-by-play man Hawk Harrelson was unsure about unleashing his signature hom...
Astros Player Gets First MLB Hit, Then Wanders Off And Gets Tagged Out
Otherwise, Max Stassi's debut with the Astros went quite well....
Drunk Cardinals Fan Tries To Kick Cubs Fan, Falls On Own Head Instead
According to the YouTube uploader, this happened Friday outside Wrigley, sometime after the Cubs actually won the first game of the teams' weekend series. Related: Has anyone talked to Will Leitch since Friday?...
Sketchy Reports: Gareth Bale To Be Sold For All The Money
According to a variety of dubious reports in unreliable foreign outlets, Tottenham Hotspur star Gareth Bale is actually, really, finally, supposedly about to be sold off to Real Madrid for (at present exchange rates) $145.81 million, with Spurs supposedly then buying up everyone this side of George ...
Sorry, But You Have To Do More Than "Want It"
OK, we are back on a normal schedule now, I promise. Sort of. Maybe. I don't know. Can you ever really make a promise like that? I could die or, you know, win the lottery or something. Haha I'm just kidding, I would never waste money on things that aren't high-end electronics or food and drink. The ...
Your Team Is Probably Going To Fail: The 2013-14 Premier League
Fuck yeah, man. The Premier League's back tomorrow. This is super duper great, because although various leagues like the German Bundesliga and France's Ligue 1 have already kicked off, ain't nothing like the Premier League. While other leagues annually boast only two or three top sides and naught bu...