san Page 179 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Congrats To The Twins For Cashing In On Two AL West Teams’ Shohei Ohtani Thirst
The Minnesota Twins, who were informed earlier this week that they are out of contention to sign Shohei Ohtani, made the best of the mayhem by swiping two top-10 prospects from the Mariners and Angels, two teams reportedly very much still in the mix to get the Japanese superstar....
Norwegian Cup Winner Fucks Trophy
Lillestrøm won the Norwegian Football Cup yesterday, with a 3-2 victory over Sarpsborg, and defender Aleksander Melgalvis celebrated very enthusiastically—by taking all his clothes off onstage and then placing his dick inside the trophy, so as to keep things modest. ...
Robbie Gould Clowned The Bears
Kicker Robbie Gould’s 11-year tenure with the Bears came to an unceremonious end when the team released him a week before the 2016 season started. GM Ryan Pace believed that Connor Barth was better and more affordable than Gould, though Barth was cut last month for Cairo Santos. On Sunday, Gould, t...
For Now, It Looks Like Giancarlo Stanton Will Either Be A Cardinal Or A Giant
Giancarlo Stanton in St. Louis? Giancarlo Stanton in San Francisco? If you’re dreaming about where the defending National League MVP might end up next season, there’s no sense in dreaming any bigger than that. The Stanton sweepstakes are reportedly down to the Cardinals and the Giants, and Stanton w...
These Are The Dark Times For Lonzo Ball And The Lakers
Last night was a miserable one for the Lakers. They lost to a Nuggets team missing all of Nikola Jokic, Paul Millsap, and Wilson Chandler, after taking a four-point lead into halftime. Frustration and befuddlement mounted throughout the second half, until, by crunch-time, the Lakers were more or le...
Austin Rivers Fined By NBA For Shit-Talking "Fair Weather-Ass" Clippers Fan
Austin Rivers, hilariously spastic and wonderfully confident basketball player, has reportedly been fined $25,000 for scolding a court-side Clippers fan during the team’s Thursday night loss to the streaking Utah Jazz:...
Giannis Bullied The Blazers
Giannis Antetokounmpo, who is Shaq now, did not have his greatest game against the Blazers last night, scoring 20 points on 7-of-20 shooting in the Bucks’ 103-91 win. He also did some very rude things to some people. ...
The Giants Are Going For Giancarlo Stanton
Baseball’s hot stove is preheating, but nothing major can really get cooking until the winter’s two big deals get done. The first, Japanese import Shohei Ohtani, appears to have no timeline. But the second, the expected trade of Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton, sounds like it’s gathering momentum....
Blake Griffin Suffered A Scary-Looking Knee Injury And The Clippers Are So Fucked
Late in last night’s win over the Los Angeles Lakers, Austin Rivers fell onto Blake Griffin’s knee while scrambling with Lonzo Ball for a loose ball. Griffin fell to the ground clutching his knee and checked out for good after the next Clippers possession....
Coby Fleener Stayed On The Field After This Helmet-To-Helmet Hit
The Saints’ Coby Fleener took the textbook definition of a helmet-to-helmet hit on a defenseless receiver from Blake Countess in the fourth quarter of the Rams-Saints game, but despite the apparent damage caused, Fleener got right back up....
Giannis Antetokounmpo Shouts "I'll Fuck You Up" At Bucks Assistant Coach
The Milwaukee Bucks lost in Utah last night. It was a frustrating game—they lost every quarter, and seemed to be flustered by Utah’s constant motion and passing, which provided a pretty stark contrast to Milwaukee’s own “eh, something good will happen, probably” offense—in what’s been a frustrating ...
Mohamed Sanu Throws 50-Yard TD Strike To Julio Jones
Third-and-one in the first half isn’t usually the time to reach deep into the bag of tricks, but the Atlanta Falcons clearly trust wideout Mohamed Sanu to get them all the yards they need, and then some. With the ball at midfield, they had Sanu take a shotgun snap and fire a pass deep down the field...
Kevin Bieksa Landed Another One-Punch Knockdown
A month ago, Anaheim defenseman Kevin Bieksa took down Philly’s Radko Gudas almost instantly with his right hand when Gudas dared to challenge him....
Baylor, TCU Team Up To Demonstrate Christian Values This Holiday Weekend
The first Thanksgiving in 1621 was held by religious fanatics to properly express gratitude to their God for a bountiful harvest. 396 years later, the holiday is recognized by football teams getting in fights with each other....
I Saw The Buttfumble Live And It Fractured My Family<em></em>
Sometime in the winter of 2010, my dad sat my younger brother and me down for a talk....
It's Suddenly All Gone Very Wrong For The Clippers
After winning their first four games of the season and appearing to transition gracefully into the post-Chris Paul era, the Los Angeles Clippers have since turned into one of the worst teams in basketball and lost nine straight games. Their lone win over the past 10 games was against the hapless Dal...
Nathan Peterman Threw Five Picks On His First 14 Passes
The quarterback controversy of this past week was Bills coach Sean McDermott getting an itchy trigger finger and benching an underwhelming-if-not-terrible Tyrod Taylor. Taylor was demoted in favor of rookie fifth-round draft pick Nathan Peterman, who the team wishes could be its franchise QB of the ...
The Vikings Locked Down The Rams
So far this season, only one team had held the Los Angeles Rams to fewer than 20 points—the Seattle Seahawks. Since that blip of a loss in Seattle, though, the Rams had continued to put up points at a rate unmatched by any other NFL team, scoring 27, 33, 51, and 33 points in their past four games....
Lonzo Ball's General Passivity Extends Even To Helping A Teammate In A Fight
In last night’s loss to the Phoenix Suns, Lakers guard Kentavious Caldwell-Pope got a little territorial with Tyler Ulis of the Suns, and a brouhaha ensued. Not a fight, but certainly an altercation. As NBA “fights” go, this was more intense and physical than the LeBron-Enes Kanter conflict, but cer...
Jared Goff's Audibles Include "Ric Flair" And "Tupac"
Rams QB Jared Goff was mic’d up during the team’s 33-7 win over the Houston Texans on Sunday, which allowed everyone to learn some of L.A.’s audibles. Head coach Sean McVay and his coaches seem to have chosen a celebrity-heavy assortment. Here they are, courtesy of USA Today’s Cameron DaSilva:...