san Page 417 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If You're Going To Pick A Fight With A Memphis Transit Security Guard, Make Sure It's Not The MMA Fighter-In-Training
When a Memphis Area Transit Authority security guard beat the piss out of some chump who was harassing the ladies outside a downtown station, the local ABC affiliate did God's work....

Bay Area Radio Hosts Have Insane Solutions To Fan Violence
KNBR's Damon Bruce supports profiling for allowing fans into games. [UPDATE: Damon was very insistent that he never mentioned or intended a racial aspect to the profiling, and we'll take him at his word. So, keeping out races, no, keeping out thugs who just come to games to start trouble, yes.]...

Leaked Emails Show A <em>Newsweek</em> Reporter Trying To Set A Picky Shaq Up With Some Girls (He Only Wants Rihanna)
As far as we know, Shaquille O'Neal—divorced a few years back—is happy with his comically out-of-proportion lover, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander....

Lil Wayne And Todd Haley Constitute Football's Newest And Maybe Worst Bromance
By and large, there's not a lot to like about Kansas City Chiefs head coach Todd Haley. He played golf, not football, in high school and college. His father was an NFL big shot. He's prone to tantrums. He rolled over some coordinators quickly. Whitlock hates him....

Cops, 49ers Will Work To Make Fans Less Drunk After Especially Drunken Raiders-49ers Game
The annual drunk brawl between 49ers and Raiders fans took place this past weekend, and it was, historically speaking, more drunk and brawl-y than usual. In what essentially amounts to a timeout for grown-ups, both teams have requested that the NFL "indefinitely suspend" the annual preseason "Battle...

You Can't Fight A DMV-Nominated Samurai Champion In Lieu Of A Trial Anymore
A tipster has sent us a story nine years old but timeless. You might not know that in England, drivers must fill out a specific form in order to avoid paying taxes on an unused vehicle. You also might not know that in Medieval England, trials were often settled by the two parties engaging in single ...

The Only Thing Worse Than A Drake Song Is A DeJuan Blair Cover Of A Drake Song
Unlike his NBA brethren, who are working at the local Home Depots, assistant coaching at Division I schools, and throwing down in local leagues, Spurs forward DeJuan Blair is apparently spending his extended off-season recording covers of terrible pop songs that are a mere two months old....

San Francisco 49ers-Oakland Raiders Annual Preseason Series May Be Eliminated Due To Crazy Fan Violence
"Raiders and 49ers expected to issue a joint statement announcing that their annual exhibition series will be suspended."[Via Tim Kawakami]...

Dear Grantland: Why Won't You Let Yourself Be Loved?
In the absence of a comment space on ESPN's Grantland website, Deadspin continues to supply a space for Grantland readers to share their feedback. Please send corrections and comments to [email protected], subject "Dear Grantland."...

The Shootings At Candlestick Park Happened Because The NFL Doesn't Have An 18-Game Schedule, You See
Via Matt Barrows of the Sacramento Bee: "'I think when you have a preseason game, when you don't have your regular-season ticket holders coming to the game, I think that plays a big factor into it,' 49ers president Jed York said. He said that's another reason why the NFL wants to eliminate some pres...

Who's Got 41? Great. But Who's Got 41?
Your morning roundup for Aug. 22, the day we asked taxpayers to foot the bill for a shopping mall. Photo via @EricStangel. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...

Two Fans Shot In Candlestick Park Parking Lot After Raiders-49ers Preseason Game
We suggested some months ago that Los Angeles might have the most violent fans in America. But now—with two shootings in the Candlestick Park parking lot after last night's Raiders-49ers preseason game—it seems like all of California might have the worst fans....

Here's Video Of The Time Gunfire Interrupted A Mexican Soccer Match
Per @rev215: "Here's bad quality video of players running off the field & fans taking cover as shots are fired in Mexican soccer game"...

Let's Watch Some Ravens Fans Fight A Guy Who Roots For The Chiefs
Todd Haley will probably find this more offensive than the two late touchdowns the Ravens scored against his Chiefs. Or not. Either way, it's still a bunch of guys from Baltimore jumping someone. Thank God Omar ain't around to see such disrespect for the rules of the game....

Here's Video Of A Street Fight During Which One Participant Is Shoved Into A Trash Can
It's unclear where why this battle royale broke out since the "Ghetto fight - big brawl" description on YouTube only states, "Some ppl fighting in da streets look like black vs white."...

Here's Video Of The Georgetown-China On-Court Fight
Via @bubbaprog at SportsGrid....

Islanders Decide Not To Showcase Bloody Brawl After All
"...the party will go on, but the Islanders and MSG Network have agreed to switch the game to a victory over the Sabres in which Michael Grabner's hat trick goal was the winner." [Sports Illustrated]...

Dumb Corporate Beef Becomes Dumb Kobe Bryant-Brandon Jennings Beef
Under Armour has unleashed a new marketing campaign based around the idea that they're a "Change Agent" in the world of sports gear. The company even released a spoken-word promotional video that includes the sentence "Welcome to the revolution." It does a good job of subliminally positioning Under ...

Philip Rivers Doesn't Agree With Or Understand Total QBR
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rivers isn't much for math, but he knows it when he sees it....

Torii Hunter Gets Trapped In An Oxygen Chamber, Pisses In a Bottle, Tweets
In need of a little rejuvenation after the Angels' 7-3 loss last night to the Rangers, Torii Hunter entered a clubhouse oxygen chamber, thinking that would do the trick. It's not known what happened next—whether Hunter stayed in the chamber too long and was forgotten about, or whether no one realiz...