san Page 447 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...

Finally, A Lady Urinal: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Last Night's Winner: Fans Of Fingering
In sports everyone's a winner — some win better than others, like every headline writer who's dreamed of using the verb "finger." Last night was a flat-out finger blast for those folks....

Santana Moss Is Your PED Bogeyman Of The Moment
According to the Washington Post, Moss received SCARY SCARY DRUG Human Growth Hormone from Canadian pixie Anthony Galea. [Washington Post]...

Sharks GM Has Competitively Attractive Daughter
San Jose Sharks GM Doug Wilson's daughter, the absurdly named Lacey, competed in last night's Miss USA competition. So that's why the Sharks were so on edge during Game 1 and couldn't solve the Rubik's Cube that is Chicago goalie Antti Niemi....

One-Eyed Funnyman Steve Nash Responds to Phil Jackson's "Nash Carries the Ball" Dig
"I've never heard anyone accuse me of carrying it...I mean, the best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn't have a problem with it last week." Bam! Man, I can't wait until this series actually starts, sometime in mid-June....

Visanthe Shiancoe Wants To Show The World He's More Than Just A Wagging Dong
Yahoo!'s Michael Silver does a double entendre-filled profile on Vikings' tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, who's working hard to overcome his internet long-comings....

Penis-Curious News Anchor Responds
Michael HIll, news anchor for New Orleans's ABC affiliate and a man with a penchant for wonderfully awkward questions, has seen our post and writes in to say he does indeed know from banter. E-mail after the jump....

Bengie Molina's Outrage At ESPN Is Slowly Rounding Third
Molina has declared himself unamused by the SportsCenter clip you see here, in which the Giants catcher is lightly mocked for running from second to home like the QE2 steaming into port. This from a guy whose Wikipedia entry calls him slow....

Minor League Hockey Fight Provides Us With A Reason To Watch Minor League Hockey
Last night, during Game 5 of their ECHL playoff series, the Cincinnati Cyclones and Reading Royals engaged in one of the best hockey team fights ever. Enjoy the narration and the sight of grown men being thrown about like rag dolls....

Potato Chip Ad Manages To Titillate, Enrage Island Nation
Hunky Dory, an Irish potato chip syndicate, has come under fire for an ad series that claims they are "Proud Sponsors of Irish Rugby." That, and because the ads feature all the scantily-clad women's rugby action you could ask for....

The Natural Disaster Telestrator Dong: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Private Stache: Magic The Gathering
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Hooters Sponsors Youth Aussie Rules Football Team, Outrage Is Palpable
A Melbourne, Australia Hooters has been criticized by various wet blankets for sponsoring an under-16 Australian Rules Football team, the Broadbeach Cats. As per usual, there are adults trying to ruin all the fun....

Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....

A Hockey Trucking To End All Hockey Truckings
In Game 3 of the OHL Championship Series last night, Barrie's Darren Archibald decided he didn't even want to play Game 4 and proceeded to check Windsor goalie Philipp Grubauer into the Northwest Territories. Naturally, a fight broke out. H/T Justin....

Mudwrestling At The Kentucky Derby
The infield scene at Churchill Downs may not be as decadent and depraved as at Pimlico these days, but the rainstorm brought a welcome twist to the action. Feisty fillies, indeed. [via Louisville.com]...

The (Potentially Scandalous, Potentially Frivolous) Saints Vicodin Lawsuit
So Sean Payton and another coach are accused of raiding and abusing the team's medicine cabinet. And the security director making the allegations is accused of blackmailing the team. Tricky stuff. This calls for a breakdown....

What Do Alexander Ovechkin, The Penguins And Jiffy Pop Have In Common?*
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

If Anyone Else Is Morbidly Curious About "The Human Centipede"...
Mark Lisanti is live blogging his viewing of it right now. It's just about to get fun it looks like. [MovieLine]...