san Page 458 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Crabtree Surviving Off Delicious Subway Sandwiches
Professional holdout Michael Crabtree has still not signed with the San Francisco 49ers, but don't worry about him. His marketing agent has him endorsing Subway, which is perfect because Crabtree is probably really, really hungry....

People Can't Stop Remarking On Mark Sanchez's Poise
A headline, in our newspaper of record: "Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has already shown the poise of a more experienced player." And the story refers to Sanchez's "poise, pocket presence and decision making." That's two more for our collection. [NYT]...

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Frank Gore's 80-Yard Gallop
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Giants' Teenage Prospect Now A Murder Suspect
Angel Villalona, a Giants top prospect, was scouted at 13 and signed by San Francisco at 16, and now, at 19, he's the prime suspect in a murder in the Dominican Republic, a top prospect of an entirely different sort....

Mark Sanchez Overpraise Poised To Annoy The Hell Out Of Us
Mark Sanchez possesses a certain je ne sais quoi. So how to describe him, just two games into his NFL career? If only there were some hackneyed bit of praise that elevates competence into a kind of holy state ......

Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....

The BAC Of The Entire Adelman Family Is About 7.4
This is...impressive. Daughter of Rockets' head coach Rick Adelman, Kathryn Naro, a high school women's head basketball coach was pinched for her second DUI earlier this week, bringing the total number of Adelman children busted for DUIs to three....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Petco Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Petco Park....

It's Bizarro Phillies Dad!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...

49ers' Lack Of Failure Causing Crabtree To Sweat, Possibly Cave
"49ers players who spoke with Crabtree after the game detected anxiety on his part, and there's now a sense that he might be getting ready to take the offer that the 49ers have left on the table." [Pro Football Talk]...

Sachez Pumped Up By Acoustic Puff Music
The Jet's GQ rookie has stormed out of the gates like a man who's been possessed by the fury of bad-ass music flowing through his veins—probably something like Slayer or Pantera, right? Wrong......

Shawne Merriman Will Not Face Criminal Charges for the Tila Tequila Incident
A San Diego judge has ruled that no charges will be filed against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for allegedly choking and restraining notorious internet trollop Tila Tequila....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Dodger Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Dodger Stadium....

The Chargers Sure Can Stuff Their Fat Faces
As per tradition, rookie Larry English took the team out to dinner — to the tune of $14,508.67. The real question is, which poof ordered the raspberry sorbet? [Shaun Phillips' Twitter, via Shutdown Corner]...

Brad Penny Does Not Appreciate Your Mock Grunting
Even as Penny dominates NL hitting like a grown man mowing through Little Leaguers, he still carries himself like a toddler on the mound, ranting and raving about everything. So it goes without saying: Mock him at your own risk....

Mark Whicker Has Left The Yard Before
The year was 1991. Journalist and ex-Marine Terry Anderson had just been freed after nearly seven years of captivity in Lebanon. Seven years is a long time. Luckily, a columnist named Mark Whicker was around to put it in perspective....

Choose Your Side In The Great Tequila-Merriman Twitter War
Shawne Merriman wants an internet hug. Tila Tequila would like to teach the world about "roid rage." It's all part of their strategy to win the public relations battle by taking their domestic dispute online....

Shawne Merriman Knows How To Beat A Lady (UPDATED)
San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested last night after allegedly roughing up his girlfriend, noted internet person Tila Tequlia. Way to start the season strong, buddy....

This Week in Love
Alright, time to commence my weekly scan of the interwebs to see who got engaged recently. Let's see, there's Ricky Williams and Kristen Barnes. There's also Jim from The Office and Emily Blunt (slow down, you two!). And......