san Page 466 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....
The San Antonio Spurs Are Old And Broken
Manu Ginobili is out for the rest of the season with a stress fracture in his right ankle. Unfortunately, San Antonio's warranty has expired. [SA Express News]...
Johan Santana Has A Very Good Memory
Sorry to get all "Meet the Mets" on you today, but I noticed something bizarre during today's pregame that must be discussed—Johan Santana apparently has an individual handshake ritual for every player on his team....
Yet Another Smart Play From Zach Randolph
The competent, level-headed L.A. Clippers forward was arrested early this morning on suspicion of drunk driving. Does it seem unfair to anyone else that this man drives a Rolls-Royce? [ESPN]...
Space Cadet In The Outfield?
Ryan Braun swears he saw Manny Ramirez hanging out with fans in the left field bleachers during the Brewers-Dodgers exhibition game last night. Maybe they just told him to play really deep? [Brew Beat]...
'Favre Just Dropped An F5,' And Other Observations On Jock-Female Relations
It's time for Waxing Off, the only Internet feature which can tell the time in the U.S., London and Prague. Today's topic; why the rules for dating women seem to be different for top athletes....
Cito Gaston Would Like To Get A Few Things Off Of His Chest
Unlike many others hiding behind anonymity, Blue Jays manager Cito Gaston will come right out and say how he really feels about Roger Clemens. Get your pens ready, scribes, and print this: "He's an asshole."...
Now Seems Like A Perfect Time For Roger Clemens To Bring Back The Highlights
This is from an email that was forwarded to us this afternoon that was supposedly taken in a Houston hair salon while Roger Clemens had his highlights touched-up....
Is This The End Of The Line For Matt Bush?
Troubled former Padres' No. 1 overall draft pick Matt Bush released by Blue Jays, for not complying with the "zero tolerance terms of his agreement." Uh oh. [Toronto Globe And Mail]...
And Here's Your Next ETrade Baby Commercial
No collection of videos featuring fans catching balls would be complete without potential baby droppage. [Home Run Derby]...
It Looks Like Andrew Bynum's Knee Is Just Fine
The Lakers' center played in a golf/Playmate-lifting contest at the Playboy Mansion Saturday, despite not playing an NBA game since January because of a bad knee. To be fair, she is filled with helium. [SI]...
Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....
Rumors Of Isiah Thomas To Clippers' Front Office Send NASDAQ Plummeting Record 230 Points
Isiah Thomas, seeking a front-office job, has talked with Clippers owner Donald Sterling several times; most recently last month. I see no way such a thing can possibly fail. [ESPN]...
Sports And Porn, Together Again, As It Should Be
It's time for 20 pictures in which sports and porn collide. Now never send any of these to us ever again. Thanks. [Betfair]...
You Can't Prosecute Him! He's Matt F-ing Bush!
Matt Bush, our favorite underage-drinking, lacrosse-player-throwing minor league shortstop/pitcher, has been formally charged with battery stemming from a Feb. 4 incident in a high school parking lot. [San Diego Union Tribune]...
You Know It's Officially Spring Time When Sal Fasano's Mustache Is In Full Bloom
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Roy Williams Doesn't Like It When Cheerleaders Cry
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Working The New Orleans Hornets Halftime Show Is Just Humiliating And Painful
On Tuesday night, the New Orleans Hornets had another halftime spectacle go horribly awry. One of their French Quarter Flyers completely destroyed his ankle during a routine. Photo after the jump — if you dare....
49ers Cut Loose Isaac Bruce, 'Have No Interest' In Jay Cutler
They might be tempted by Torry Holt, however, and may lust after Mark Sanchez in the draft. Oh, you wacky Niners. [San Francisco Chronicle]...
Carter Gaddis' New Blog Is Off To A Rousing Start
Our only regret is that he didn't live to witness Subway's "Five-Dollar Foot-Long" ad campaign. Here's the late Geremi Gonzalez and his classic penis prank, brought to you via Tampa Bay Baseball Outsider....