san Page 492 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Had A Bucket? Luxury!
Who among us hasn't locked their young child in his room with a loaf of bread and a bucket and then gone off to watch the Packers at an Indian casino? (Long pause). Um, anyone? Cripes, this is embarrassing....
Selig Won't Watch, But We'll Have To
Well, if that whole Barry Bonds Won't Play On ESPN thing turns out to be based in reality, we're all in luck; Bonds is never going to break Hank Aaron's record. Because everyone of his at-bats is gonna be on The Worldwide Leader until, well, until he breaks it, or dies. So, you know, enjoy....
Bonds Might Do This This Weekend
After his two home runs yesterday, everybody's favorite beacon of light Barry Bonds is just two home runs away from tying Hank Aaron. Perhaps you've heard about this. He's got three games in Bud Selig's hometown of Milwaukee to go for it this weekend, and then comes home for a week. It's possible he...
Who's the Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.)...
The Matchup You've Waited For: Bonds Vs. Laundry Cart
We take you now to the Giants' clubhouse at Dodger Stadium, where Barry Bonds has a few words about his second straight 0-for-5 performance in a 5-3 loss to the Dodgers: "It's an embarrassment for me to be wearing this (expletive deleted) uniform 'cause of the way I'm playing. There, that's it. Now ...
Jesus Wore A Floppy Hat For Your Sins
Speaking just for myself, I am never happier than when I'm at a baseball game watching the Gay Men's Chorus while wearing a floppy hat. But leave it to certain groups to take all of the fun out of my weekends....
Barry Bonds' Last Friends In The World
Bud Selig can take some solace in the world: Not everyone is gnashing their teeth and rending their garments over Barry Bonds' impending destruction of Hank Aaron's home run record....
Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother
As some of you might have heard, Ron Artest's little brother is trying to make it in the NBA. He's got a few strikes against him. First, he's Ron Artest's brother. Second, he weighs about 300 pounds. Third, he weighs about 300 pounds and thinks his jump shot's gonna get him to the League....
The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...
We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....
It's Tough To Type While Wearing A Mitt
We don't have an iPhone, because we're quite happy with our iPod and our cellphone being happy and separate, thank you very much. (Also: A little pricey.) Most people we know who have one tend to enjoy them, but they've had a bit of an issue with the lack of a keyboard....
Please Do Not Protest Bonds In Sign Form
Now that San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams aren't going to jail for their stories about Barry Bonds, they're getting awfully cocky: They're now exposing the Orwellian practice of shutting down anti-Bonds signs at baseball stadiums....
To Watch Tonight...
• 7:30, ESPNU. Soccer. FIFA U-20 World Cup. Canada vs. Chile. A natural rivalry if there ever was one. • 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Minnesota Twins @ Detroit Tigers. Scott Baker vs. Jeremy Bonderman. Eh. • 8:00, ESPN Classic. Movie. The Color of Money. You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains a...
Barry Hits #750, Loses Game, Wins A Friend
• Miguel Montero > Barry Bonds. Barry hit #750 last night, a 3-2 breaking ball over the rightfield wall that delighted people all over ... well, Pac Bell Park. He's now just 5 short of Hank Aaron, but he does trail Diamondback Miguel Montero in the statistical category of "people who won baseball ga...
Yep: The Kobe Video Guys Are Dorks
This site claims to have pictures of the two guys responsible for that increasingly lame "Kobe Video Rant", smiling with Kobe during happier times. (In other words, right before he spouted off and caused them to think you could sell 25-second video clips on the Web.) It's not confirmed that's reall...
Just Another Anonymous Night At The Ballpark
In the last eight years, we've seen way too many baseball games. We've seen a World Series winner (woo!), we've seen a freaking typhoon and we've seen Joe McEwing hit home runs for two different teams. (He's still in the Red Sox minor league system, by the way.)...
Great Moments In Web Profit Making
Let's think, for a moment, of just how long a timespan 24 seconds. It's how long it takes a shotclock to run down. It's how long it takes us to type two sentences. It's how long it takes Elijah Dukes to type two words on a text message. And it's how long the supposedly CONTROVERSIAL Kobe Bryant vide...