sat Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>Sports Illustrated</em> Falls For Satire About Nick Saban Visiting Texas
What you see above is the story that went screaming out on the SI Wire at SI.com earlier today. Technically, it's true: Nick Saban is indeed visiting Texas this weekend—but only because Alabama's showdown with Texas A&M is still scheduled for Saturday in College Station. But that's not all SI.com is...

Satirical Soccer Story Suckers Stupids
This weekend, CBC radio program This Is That broadcast a report on a Canadian youth soccer association that removed the ball from games to promote better sportsmanship. It was filled with delightful quotes like this one:...
![The Greatest Yankees Meltdown Ever Captured On Tape [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The Greatest Yankees Meltdown Ever Captured On Tape [NSFW]
Here's a cool old relic from the last great era of Yankees dysfunction. It's a clip of Hall of Fame reliever Goose Gossage losing his shit in front of the New York media in 1982—the beginning of a miserable, drawn-out decade for the organization, when all that '70s glory turned to pinstriped shit....

Erin Andrews And Charissa Thompson Star In Painfully Bad Video
Fox Sports 1's Erin Andrews and Charissa Thompson posed for a magazine. This is The Hollywood Reporter's fault but still. This video is unspeakably horrible. Thanks for sending along, anonymous ESPN person....

An Averagely Average Comedy: <em>We're The Millers</em>, Reviewed.
Jason Sudeikis is a perfect fit for We're the Millers, which is a shame, since the movie isn't quite as funny as he is. During his time on Saturday Night Live, Sudeikis often played the handsome, average guy who, the longer you hung out with him, seemed stranger and stranger. He could be the straigh...

Measuring The Ridiculous Physics Of Disney's <em>Hercules</em>
Two years ago, our friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective applied their usual rigorous statistical scrutiny to a series of basketball movies. We pick up the idea again with this analysis of Hercules, by Anthony Zonfrelli and Dmitri Ilushin....

<em>USA Today</em> Article On Zimmerman Verdict Quotes A “Howie Felterbush”
Here's the original article, which we're assuming was reported by a former KTVU employee. ...

<em>USA Today Sports</em> Reports Dwight Howard Is And Isn't A Houston Rocket
According to Sam Amick of USA TODAY Sports, Howard has chosen to sign with the Houston Rockets. Amick filed a report and tweeted it out....

NBC's Fake <em>USA Today</em> Pages Actually Text From The <em>Chicago Sun-Times</em>
You may have noticed NBC running these stupid, horribly-Photoshopped USA Today pages on their sports broadcasts recently. The mockups were inane enough before we realized the text was plagiarized from a Chicago Sun-Times article about this year's Notre Dame-Michigan football game....

Lost and Found
Here's "Resurrecting The Champ," J.R. Moehringer's classic 1997 takeout piece for the Los Angeles Times. How about this for a lede?...

NESN Reports <em>SportsPickle</em> Satire About Brian Urlacher As News
Yesterday satirical sports website SportsPickle published an amusing story on Brian Urlacher's retirement, claiming the Bears linebacker was retiring but signing a one-day contract with the Packers so he could "go out a winner." Today, while broadcasting coverage of the ACC baseball tournament, NES...

DeAndre Jordan Posterizes ESPN Television Host
Posterizing is the cool new thing that all the kids are doing, and now Clippers center DeAndre Jordan has gotten in on the fun. ...

Al Neuharth's Scant Positive Journalistic Contributions Were To Sports
Al Neuharth’s obituary in the New York Times was notable as much for what it did say as what it didn’t. What it did say: The founder of USA Today and driving force behind Gannett’s dubious rise to “a communications Leviathan” profoundly changed the newspaper industry. What it didn’t say: Anything mu...

<em>Saturday Night Live</em> Took On The Mike Rice Video Tonight
Tonight's Saturday Night Live unleashed this parody just as the Michigan-Syracuse game was coming to its ugly end, so the Mike Rice-savvy audience out there may have missed it....


<i>Saturday Night Live</i>'s Cold Open Spoofed The Super Bowl Blackout
It's been a week since the Super Bowl, but Saturday Night Live is a weekly show, unfortunately airing the night before Super Bowl Sunday, so they just got around to pointing out the uselessness of studio shows. Keenan Thompson as James Brown guides the skit and has some fun when, at his wit's end, h...

Questions About National Signing Day? Ask The Best College Football Minds In The Country
National Signing Day—the day when college football fans spend a lot of time waiting for teenagers to put on hats—is well underway. It's already treated us to some excitement and sparked a necessary, thoughtful discussion....

Chris Culliver Was Asked Almost 100 Questions Today About His Anti-Gay-Teammate Comments
The past week in sports has been so gay! We've had Manti Te'o saying he's "far from" gay last Thursday; we've had Ronaiah Tuiasosopo claiming he's trying to recover from his gayness (good luck with that, champ); we've had that SI photo of the two 49ers fan-dudes making out at a gay bar; we've had an...

2012 Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominee: Lawyerin' Joe Amendola
Let there be no questioning the brilliant legal mind of Jerry Sandusky's lead attorney. "He was both Gallagher and the melon." His go-to legal maneuver was throwing shit against the wall. Gag order? What gag order? Just, you know, give him some more time. You'll see. His client was too busy being a ...