scream Page 132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLS Makes Some Shit Up, Suspends Clint Dempsey For Three Games
Earlier this week, Clint Dempsey received a red card for tearing up a referee’s notebook in protest of what he thought was some poor officiating in a U.S. Open Cup match. Today, MLS doled out its punishment, suspending him from all competitions for three games....
Norwegian Women's Soccer Players Explain Why Women's Soccer Sucks
Judging from some of the comments on our Women’s World Cup coverage, this video should be right up your alley. Turns out, you and Stephen A. were right!...
Neymar Given Two-Match Suspension For Shenanigans After Colombia Loss
Colombia beat Brazil 1-0 last night in the Copa América, Los Cafeteros’ first win over the South American giants since 1991. But instead of the impressiveness of the feat (and Brazil’s continued struggles) taking center stage, the kerfuffle that broke out after the final whistle has overshadowed the...
Spain's Goalkeeper Mortified After Giving Up World Cup-Ending Goal
Yeah, that has to suck....
This Goal Amandine Henry Just Scored For France Is Three Fire Emoji
Earlier, we talked about how France were beating the crap out of Mexico, because they led 4-0 at the break. They slowed down a little bit in what was looking like a disappointing second half. And then French midfielder Amandine Henry did this....
English Keeper Flattens Colombian, Robbing Us Of A Brilliant Team Goal
We have a soft spot in our hearts for scrappy little Colombia, who entered this group as long shots but have impressed with the overflowing technical ability of their players. So you can understand our frustration as Las Cafeteras were all set to cap off the team goal of the tournament before the En...
Leicester City Sacks Stars Following Orgy Investigation
Former Leicester City Football Club players Tom Hopper, Adam Smith and James Pearson can’t say they didn’t go out on top. LCFC announced today that each member of the trio—who infamously livened up the team’s “goodwill” visit to Thailand with an orgy filled with racist remarks—have had their contrac...
Director Of Terrible FIFA Movie Rues His New Rep As A Propaganda Man
Frédéric Auburtin had the misfortune of directing the colossal flop that was United Passions, the movie about and paid for by FIFA. And while directing an awful movie itself can usually be brushed off pretty easily, the recent scandal has inflicted lasting scars on Auburtin’s reputation, as he expla...
Clint Dempsey Red Carded For Tearing Up Ref's Notebook
The Portland Timbers met the Seattle Sounders last night in the U.S. Open Cup. The game ended 3-1, with Portland scoring the three goals and Seattle losing three men to red cards while finishing the match with just seven players on the pitch thanks to a late injury after they had already used all th...
Argentine Soccer Player Puts Ref To Sleep With A Left Hook To The Jaw
Surprised this happened in Argentina? No? Me neither....
Arturo Vidal Totaled His Ferrari In Suspected Drunk Driving Accident
Juventus midfielder Arturo Vidal is currently in his native Chile with the national team competing in the Copa América. On his way back from a casino with his wife on his off-day, Vidal was involved in a two-car accident and arrested on suspicion of drunk driving....
Hope Solo Is Not A Problem
So this is what equality looks like. Finally, sports writers care enough about women’s sports to bother digging into a female athlete’s personal life and find out she’s a mess: married to a man once accused of hitting her, brawling with her own family members, and getting belligerent with cops when ...
This Dutch Goal And Ecstatic Celebration Are Why We Watch The World Cup
The Netherlands were one of our favorites of the longshots coming into this tournament, their first ever World Cup, for a number of reasons. Their underdog status, their paltry history, the sudden boom of young talent once the country began to prioritize the women’s game, their expressive style of p...
Premier League Starlet Pictured Passed Out In Middle Of The Road
Jack Grealish, the 19-year-old future-stud winger for Aston Villa, had a season to be proud of. He broke into the first team, becoming a regular starter by the end of the season, and impressed enough to be linked with bigger teams. To celebrate, it appears he got lit up in Spain, concluding at least...
Hao Wei Sent Off As Chinese Manager Caught Pushing Up On Opponent
Things got weird in the final minutes of today’s China-New Zealand match as Chinese manager Hao Wei earned an ejection for interfering with a Kiwi player who was attempting a throw-in. All China needed under the circumstances was a draw to advance, and they got it; one can reasonably assume Hao was ...
This Long Range Blast Will Be Côte d'Ivoire's One Good World Cup Memory
This Côte d’Ivoire team got hammered by Germany, gave up three goals to Thailand, only avoided a repeat beatdown at the hands Norway today on account of some sorry finishing, and will soon return home from their first World Cup thanks to their fourth-place group finish. But hey, Ange N’Guessan did b...
Neymar, Brazil's Soccer Messiah, Is Somehow Surpassing His Own Hype
A fundamental part of the marvel that is LeBron James is the sheer madness of his journey. Here is a man who was on the cover of national magazines and playing in front of millions on cable TV as a high schooler, who by the time he was eligible to vote was already being hailed as the successor to qu...
Teen Goalkeeper Fails To Play To The Damn Whistle, Blows Penalty Save
Christ, kid. Didn’t they teach you nothin’? You have to keep the ball out of the net, not just stop the penalty taker from kicking it in himself. Who cares if this is a Scottish U-14 match, if you don’t ridicule him for his errors, he’ll never learn....
This Little Kid Has The Correct Reaction To Seeing Zlatan In The Flesh
We know, we know, little Mikael. We’d make the same face....