scream Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just What In The Goddamn Hell Are Barcelona Doing In The Transfer Market?
Death, taxes, and Barcelona doing some fuck shit in the summer 2017 transfer window. These are the three constants in life, and boy does that last one keep reminding us of its omnipresence....
Overconfident Goalkeeper Pays For His Casualness With Huge Boner
Ross County’s Scott Fox must’ve thought Rangers forward Alfredo Morelos had slid off the edge of the flat Earth after the keeper managed to juke away from Morelos’s tackle deep in Fox’s own penalty area. Unfortunately, the Earth is not flat—or at least the edge of it is not located just off the boun...
This Already Scary Liverpool Team Is Getting Even Better
Liverpool have spent the last generation in a strange state, a sort of high-end irrelevance. They’ve remained, for all but the topmost tier of players, a destination club—one with plentiful resources, a winning tradition, and one of the strongest fan bases in world soccer. The problem, though, is th...
Arsenal Are Who We Thought They Were
Already at this early stage of the season, is there anyone who still thinks Arsenal’s decision to bring back Arsène Wenger was a good idea?...
Andrea Belotti Scored The Goal Of The Weekend
As the summer transfer window wanes and clubs are stressing over Ousmane Dembélé, Philippe Coutinho, Kylian Mbappé, Neymar, and other flashy strikers making (or not making) big moves around Europe, Torino’s 23-year-old big shot Andrea Belotti is over in Italy cooking up a storm. He’s long been linke...
In Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona Have Found A New Heir For Lionel Messi
At long last, some good news for FC Barcelona. Both Barça and Borussia Dortmund have now officially announced their agreement to send budding French superstar Ousmane Dembélé to Spain for a staggering fee that could reach as high as €145 million. And as far as news for Barça fans goes, this really c...
Live-Tweeting Of Soccer Match Interrupted When Social Media Manager Subbed Into Game
We’ve seen before just how versatile lower league soccer players have to be in order to keep their clubs functioning and their fans informed. Just this weekend, we saw another example when a Baldock Town player continued in the proud tradition of Sleaford Town’s Harrison Allen by dutifully tweeting ...
Gylfi Sigurdsson Drops In A Goal From The Heavens
Oh man, this is some way to introduce yourself to your new fans. In only his second appearance for Everton, Gylfi Sigurdsson has just scored this insane blast from the middle of the park against Hajduk Split in a Europa League qualifying match:...
English Soccer Club Investigating Claims Women Had To Show Their Bras To Enter Stadium
League Two English soccer club Stevenage FC said earlier this week they are investigating allegations that women were “asked to lift their tops up to show their bras to female stewards upon entry to The Lamex Stadium.” ...
Here's The Champions League Group Stage Draw
With the final teams determined yesterday in the play-in round, UEFA wasted no time picking the matchups for the true beginning of the Champions League....
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Back At Manchester United
When Zlatan Ibrahimovic suffered a nasty-looking season-ending knee injury in April, and Manchester United declined to extend his contract in June, it seemed like it was finally time for the 35-year-old star to make his long-rumored move to MLS. LA Galaxy? New York Red Bulls? Nope....
Barcelona's Farcical Summer Of Discontent Slips Further Into Absurdity
Barcelona should be one of the most prestigious and respected institutions in world sports. This hallowed club should be capable of attracting and retaining the absolute best soccer players around the globe, operating with a dignity and professionalism befitting such a revered club in an era that in...
Qarabağ Just Became The Feel-Good Story Of The Champions League
Dino Ndlovu scored a second-half goal that proved to be just enough for the Azerbaijani club Qarabağ, as today they advanced to their first-ever Champions League group stage, winning their matchup with FC København by virtue of away goals. With this win, Qarabağ is now a thrilling underdog about to ...
Wayne Rooney Announces Retirement From England National Team
Wayne Rooney appears to be in the early stages of a career renaissance after leaving Manchester United for Everton this summer, so it’s a little odd that he’d pick this time to announce that he has declined a call-up with the England team and instead has decided to officially retire from internation...
Cristiano Ronaldo On Rejection Of Ban Appeal: "Injustices Will Never Bring Me Down"
Cristiano Ronaldo seems to think that everything bad that happens to Cristiano Ronaldo is proof of a vast worldwide conspiracy to besmirch the reputation of Cristiano Ronaldo. This explains why he would describe the Spanish tax authorities seeking to collect on some €15 million they believe he may h...
Petty-Ass Barcelona Are Now Suing Neymar Over Some Bullshit
It’s been a rough few weeks for FC Barcelona. First, they sat there helplessly as Paris Saint-Germain smooth-talked Neymar away from them right in front of everyone’s faces; then they were humiliated in the Spanish Super Cup by their blood rivals, Real Madrid; then, in a futile effort to paper over ...
Wayne Rooney Met Some Old Friends<em></em>
The photo above shows Everton striker Wayne Rooney antagonizing the nearby Manchester City fans after he’d just scored against the home team during yesterday’s match. The keen-eyed Twitter user @Mirallas noticed that this picture bears a striking resemblance to another post-goal Rooney celebration a...
Soccer Match Interrupts Security Guard's Very Important Phone Call
We’ve all been there, trying to have a phone conversation at a desk in a room when all of a sudden something like a school class breaks out around us and we’re getting yelled at as if we’re the jerks. ...
David Silva's New Hairdo Bums Me Out
Hair loss, like death, is coming for us all. No matter how strong your genes are, life eventually steals your flowing locks and turns them white, or, worse yet, takes them altogether. You can fight it, but nature always wins. Which brings us to Manchester City attacker David Silva....
English Women's National Soccer Player Accuses Coach Of Racism<em></em>
A player on the English women’s national soccer team, Eni Aluko, received a settlement earlier this year from the Football Association after she accused the coach, Mark Sampson, and other staff members of “bullying and harassment.” Aluko received £80,000 despite the fact that the FA said they found ...