scream Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mario Balotelli Is Back, Baby!
The shirt colors look familiar but the team is different, and so are the country and the pressure and the expectations, and maybe even the player, too. Mario Balotelli is back on the soccer field for the first time in a long time, and he’s doing good things for the first time in even longer....
Romelu Lukaku Smashes Sunderland, And Everton Might Be Pretty Good This Season
Sunderland were terrible. Their defending was appalling all game, most obviously on Everton’s third goal. Who the hell is marking Romelu Lukaku here?...
Thankfully, The Manchester Derby Wasn't All About José Mourinho And Pep Guardiola
It’s more than a little understandable that the narrative buildup coming into this weekend’s Manchester Derby was centered on the game as a managerial showdown. Yes, the two iconic managers of this generation—José Mourinho and Pep Guardiola, two legitimate soccer geniuses who famously and furiously ...
Payet Rabona Assist!
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Arsenal Draw Even On Laurent Koscielny Golazo<em></em>
Arsenal fell behind Southampton early thanks to a Petr Čech own goal, but Laurent Koscielny erased the deficit with an overhead kick off a series of headers from a corner delivery. ¡Golazo!...
![Popular Soccer Stats Twitter Account Tweets A Butthole Instead Of Soccer Stats [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fwybfmj9zzurqgz3nqgu.jpg)
Popular Soccer Stats Twitter Account Tweets A Butthole Instead Of Soccer Stats [NSFW]
Squawka is a very popular soccer statistics website, boasting some 370K Facebook fans and 592K Twitter followers. Most readers expect geeky soccer analysis and statistical breakdowns of, say, how the Bayern Munich midfield passed to each other. What they didn’t expect was an extreme close up of a bu...
Look At This Flipping Throw-In Assist
Nothing more American soccer than scoring off of a deep ball throw in....
Borussia Dortmund Manager Pours Some Cold Water On The Christian Pulisic Craze
Hardcore American soccer fans are rightfully beside ourselves with excitement about our latest and greatest hope for a soccer superstar, Christian Pulisic—especially after his exploits during this past international break. Should he—a teenaged, Bieber-bumping child, mind you—leave Borussia Dortmund ...
Christian Benteke Probably Made Crystal Palace Sign His Little Brother, Who Sucks
It’s often difficult for small teams to convince players at big clubs making big bucks to forgo the glory and riches of the game’s destination clubs in favor of being the star at the little team, even when said player has found himself latched to the big team’s bench. Thus small clubs must pull out ...
Today's Shocking Miss Of The Day Comes To You All The Way From Lithuania
My Lithuanian is a little rusty, but I assume that the announcer’s “Oi yoi yoi! Oi yoi yoi!” in response to this Kauno Žalgiris striker missing the unmissible—a completely open net with the keeper yards away from goal—translates to something like: “Jesus Christ, did he really just blow that??? Like,...
Famous Old Soccer Man Comes Out Of Retirement To Join Retirement League
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a great and celebrated soccer star, who not too long ago decided he didn’t have the drive and/or talent to hack it in the sport anymore, has chosen to take his talents to the geriatric enrichment program known as MLS due to his (likely accurate) belief that, ...
FIFA Upholds Transfer Bans For Real Madrid And Atlético
Nearly eight months after first announcing transfer sanctions on both Real Madrid and Atlético Madrid in response to rule violations in the signing of underage players, FIFA has officially rejected the two clubs’ appeals. Neither Madrid club will be able to register new players until January of 2018...
![Grandstanding NWSL Owner Plays National Anthem Early To Avoid Megan Rapinoe's Protest [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dzkm70a8bprf1tkspuop.jpg)
Grandstanding NWSL Owner Plays National Anthem Early To Avoid Megan Rapinoe's Protest [Update]
Megan Rapinoe’s Seattle Reign traveled to Washington D.C. to play the Washington Spirit tonight. It’s the Reign’s first game since Rapinoe knelt in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick last weekend. She expected to kneel again tonight, but she didn’t get a chance to, as Washington played the national an...
Arsène Wenger Disses José Mourinho In The Pettiest Way Possible
José Mourinho and Arsène Wenger do not like each other. José Mourinho and Arsène Wenger do not pass up on opportunities to make it clear, both to each other and the world at large, that they do not like each other. Today, Arsène Wenger did something—an incredibly petty thing, at that—to demonstrate ...
Alejandro Bedoya And Eric Wynalda Face Off In Extremely Raw Twitter Beef
Last night, the U.S. men’s soccer team kicked the nuts clean off Trinidad and Tobago, setting them up well ahead of the next round of World Cup Qualifying, and, most promisingly, did so by featuring the prodigious talents of the wonderteen himself, Christian Pulisic. All should be happy in USMNT lan...
Christian Pulisic Is Already Here
So much of the talk around Christian Pulisic is in the future tense. How good could he be, how soon will he be ready to play every week for Dortmund, when should he look to move to a first team elsewhere. This is fine, since he’s 17 and has been playing first-team soccer for less than a year. Howeve...
Venezuelan Soccer Man Puts Argentina In The Trash With Ankle-Breaking Solo Goal
Look how sad these Argentine superstars are. You’d be bummed too if Venezuela’s Juanpi had embarrassed you with this golazo....
Megan Rapinoe Joins Colin Kaepernick, Kneels During National Anthem
Sunday night in Chicago, U.S. Women’s National Team star Megan Rapinoe kneeled during the national anthem before a NWSL game between her Seattle Reign and the host Red Stars. It was, she confirmed after the game, exactly what it appeared to be: a show of solidarity with San Francisco 49ers quarterba...
He Got Nutmegged
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Extremely Feisty Dog On The Field
We got a dog on the field. Someone give that little dude a treat....