si Page 1009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
WNBA Finals Controversy Debated In Empty Chat Room
We're not really going to join the growing chorus of anti-WNBA voices (or even the exact Xerox of choruses of anti-WNBA voices, just a few days later); we're not huge fans of the WNBA, but we're not huge fans of the MLS either, and you don't see us piling on them. That said, we actually watched so...
Bill Simmons' New Book: By The Numbers
Well, we are proud to report that our copy of Bill Simmons' Now I Can Die In Peace arrived at Deadspin World Headquarters last week, and, as tends to be the case with Simmons' writing, it went down smooth and quick. It took pretty much two days to read, and we read slow....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. MLB with Jayson Stark: No offense, but you're the first person we've met who spells their first name like that who sucks at basketball. • 11:30. Author Buzz Bissinger: So who's a bigger prick: Stephen Glass or Billy Bob Thornto...
Borscht Belt "Comedy" From SI
Now, we're not gonna make a habit out of this or anything, and honestly, we really don't want any trouble, but we can't let the day end without commenting on the newest column from Sports Illustrated's Steve Rushin. Now, we don't know Steve personally, and we're sure he has his virtues. He seems lik...
Leftovers: P.S., I Love You
• OSU tight end Ryan Hamby receives hate mail, drops it. [Around the Oval] • Rams exec leaves threatening phone message on columnist's voice mail. We love stories like that. [STL Today • Bill Simmons finally acknowledges that he works for the same company as Mario Lopez. [Sports Guy's World] • The D...
Jacked-Up Ref Will Not Be Taunted Online
Notoriously overmuscled NFL referee Ed Hochuli has long been a popular figure with the gay sports fan community, thanks to his cartoonishly large biceps. (Apparently, gays aren't the only fans; witness this hilarious roundup of homoerotic comments by CBS analyst Phil Simms, including some drooling...
Blogdome: Saluting Supposed "Bad Guy" Roger Federer
• You might have been sad that Andre Agassi lost at the U.S. Open, but that Roger Federer guy is pretty cool too. [Tennis-X] • Uh, anybody in San Diego noticed that the Padres are still in first place? Anybody care? [Gas Lamp Ball] • Anybody else concerned that the Miami Heat might not turn out so g...
Au Revoir, Mark
Here's to Mark Messier, who retired today after 25 years in the NHL. Thanks to you, there was a brief, tiny, singular moment where people could actually stand Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. Happy trails, dude....
Peter King Gets His Lindsay Lohan On
All right, now we know that Sports Illustrated's Peter King has lost a lot of weight over the summer, but as this photo from last month shows ... come on, Pete. We understand obesity is a key factor in heart disease, but wasting away that fast just can't be healthy ......
Football Outsiders Poo On Skip Bayless Some More
Every successful enterprise needs a villain, and as Football Outsiders becomes more and more popular — their book just arrived at Deadspin World Headquarters and is being devoured with much haste, even as we type — their glee at picking apart ESPN "Cold Pizza" wax automaton Skip Bayless becomes more...
Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... • Bill Simmons has a sure thing. Why do we hear that and immediately think of Michael Keaton in Night Shift? • If you're thinking about going against the Bears this week, Kyle Orton would ...
Look Up "Class" in the Dictionary, You'll See a Picture of Larry King
From the Reasons Radio Will Never Die department, it appears that Westwood One Radio is considering hiring Larry King to appear on its Monday Night Football radio broadcasts this year. This is the best news we have heard in months; we still haven't quite recovered SI.com canned his batshit nuts "S...
About Last Night ...
What you missed when TiVo finally gained consciousness and took total control ... • King of Queens: Agassi rallies in U.S. Open thriller — too bad you slept through it. • MLB: Mets beat Braves! ... Naw, we're just kidding, obviously. • World Cup qualifying: Shocking news involving Northern Ireland a...
In Case You Haven't Heard, Bill Simmons Has a Book Coming Out
Well, word is finally out: The Bill Simmons book is public knowledge, now that Our Boy Bill has announced it on his site. (At least Page 2 will let some external links go out.)...
Bill Simmons: This Is Who He Is
We have to say, when we saw the headline to the new Bill Simmons column, titled "This Is Who I Am ...," we got very excited. Who is Bill, exactly? Was it going to be a Scoop Jackson-esque Crash Davis rant, with stuff like, "I believe Tom Brady posters should be on the ceilings of every unmarried ...
O.J's Night Out on the Red Carpet
We know we're gonna end up getting yelled at for this, but we can't help it: We're obsessed with O.J. Simpson. We always have been. We watched the case like crazy, we bought a Simpson Bills jersey (but, uh, it was to honor Nicole) and we even watched that dopey teenager's interview with OJ on ESPN...
Eventually, You Know They're Just Going To Shoot Him
As if New Yorkers hadn't been terrorized by Knicks general manager Isiah Thomas enough, he is now cutting in front of them in DMV lines....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while calling for the assasination of Hugo Chavez ... • A's complete four-game sweep of Orioles. Strangely, Rafael Palmeiro seems weak and powerless lately for some reason. • Lions make it official, Have the word "hapless" painted on their helmets. • Agassi needs only 69 minutes to a...