si Page 444 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Simone Biles Reminds Us How Deep Every Gymnast's Bag Of Tricks Really Is
If I had been drinking something when I clicked play on a video Simone Biles tweeted out on May 28, I would have spat it out. The video in question shows Biles during a training session, once again challenging what I thought I knew about gravity:...
Donald Trump Wants This More Than Anything
Donald Trump’s taste is difficult to describe. You know it when you see it, but that’s not quite the same thing as knowing what it is. If you’re looking at a tufted velvet settee that looks like one of Michael Jackson’s bedazzled military-style blazers from the Dangerous tour, you are looking at So...
Brewers Utility Man Hernán Pérez Pitches Delightful, YouTube-Inspired 1-2-3 Inning
Normally I would not ask you to pay attention to a late half-inning in a 16–0 June blowout, where pretty much by definition nothing that happens matters in the slightest. This is no normal half-inning! First of all the pitcher is Brewers utility man Hernán Pérez, making his second appearance on the ...
Help Me Figure Out Which Team Scored 11 Runs In One Inning In Marlins-Brewers
The Miami Marlins opened a series against the Milwaukee Brewers Tuesday night, in Milwaukee. The Brewers come into the series sitting atop the NL Central; the last-place, aggressively “rebuilding” Marlins come into the series having scored the fewest total runs in baseball and 35 fewer runs than the...
Commissioner For A Day: Let's Get Rid Of The Clock In Basketball
Good news everybody: I’ve become the NBA commissioner for a day, and I’m going to abuse my brief, ill-gotten power to take a big sledgehammer to every game clock in every arena in North America. At least for the last three minutes....
The Greatest Tennis Match Of The Year Was A Filthy, Hectic War
Forget the semifinals, the finals, or the shiny trophy ceremonies. The sweetest spot of a tennis major is the first weekend....
Pascal Siakam Fought A Bear And Won
For as much as the Raptors’ run to the finals was about Kawhi Leonard’s ascension to godhood, it was also about the circumstances that made that ascension necessary. Think of all the playoff possessions in which Leonard was forced to pull a heroic shot out of his ass because his other four teammates...
Raptors Fight Off Every Warriors Push To Grab A Comfortable Game 1 Victory
In retrospect, we had a pretty solid indication that things were turning Toronto’s way in the build up to their Game 1 victory over the Warriors:...
Daniele De Rossi Was Roma, Until The Very End
Daniele De Rossi’s Roma career ended with a fittingly meaningless win in front of his adoring fans. More than any other player in this current era of the Giallorossi, De Rossi symbolized the duality of the team’s good-but-not-quite-good-enough nature. In his 17 seasons at the Italian capital, De Ros...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Bosses Insist To Staff That Being Sold To Necrophilic Brand Enthusiasts Is Good
For 65 years, Sports Illustrated has persisted in narrowly covering sports, neglecting those who would like to, say, have their prostates examined in SI-branded medical clinics by doctors wearing SI-branded lab coats, or drape themselves in SI-branded bikinis, or eat an SI-branded hot dog at their k...
The Aliens Are Not Real, And Also They're Total Cowards
Maybe you have seen the news that ... well, what, exactly? Near as I can tell the “news” is that lots and lots of Navy pilots have seen UFOs, but that somehow none of them have recorded anything but grainy, indistinct, Classic Arts Showcase–ass video of blurry dots which we’re meant to believe are t...
A Punjabi Hockey Announcer Is Changing The Face Of Canada's Favorite Sport
You might already be familiar with hockey play-by-play announcer Harnarayan Singh’s work. His goal call for Nick Bonino’s winner in Game 1 of the 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs went viral in hockey spheres, inspiring the Penguins to their fourth championship and inspiring everyone else to think, “Hold up...
Fresno Grizzlies Are Sorry For Memorial Day Video That Showed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez As Freedom’s Enemy
Between games of a Memorial Day doubleheader, the Fresno Grizzlies displayed a video on the big screen for the holiday. Backed by a selection from Ronald Reagan’s first inaugural address—the parts about freedom and dignity and how America will never surrender, not the parts about shrinking the feder...
The NCAA Graciously Allows Kansas' Silvio De Sousa To Return For Another Unpaid Season Of Basketball
Kansas forward Silvio De Sousa will not have to sit out for a second consecutive season as the NCAA announced Friday that his appeal against the association was approved. The decision came just hours after the Jayhawks officially appealed the NCAA’s two-season suspension on Friday, almost as if the ...
Engineer Unwittingly Trips Balls On LSD From The '60s While Repairing Iconic Synth
Here is a delightful story about psychedelics to ease you into the long weekend. ...
How The Hell Did Rudy Giuliani Select This Obscure Atlanta Hawks GIF?
Rudy Giuliani, a poorly preserved bog corpse, burped up a response of some kind to a video that was disrespectful to Nancy Pelosi....
Nike Called Out By Three Olympians Over Punitive Sponsorship Policy For Pregnant Athletes
American 800-meter specialist Alysia Montaño has won six national championships, but she may be most famous for running the 2014 race while eight months pregnant with her daughter. Montaño, a 2012 Olympian, also ran in 2017 while five months pregnant with her son. It takes incredible physical effort...
<i>Game Of Thrones</i>: What Is It, Exactly?
The fact of the matter is that no one really knows what Game of Thrones is. Some say it was a television program that was good for a while and then bad for a while, but even those supposedly informed people disagree on how much of it was good. We would do well to disregard those opinions and those o...
Russian Weightlifter's Lower Leg Bones Go Kerblooey During Ill-Fated 250-Kilogram Squat
The setting for this horrifying video is the Eurasian Weightlifting Championship, held May 19 in Khabarovsk in southeastern Russia. The central figure is 20-year-old Russian weightlifter Yaroslav Radashkevich, who is attempting to squat 250 kilograms, or about 551 pounds. The weight turns out to ha...
Borussia Dortmund Are Coming For Bayern Munich's Crown
While no one bottled the Premier League this season, it can be said that Borussia Dortmund blew it in their pursuit of the Bundesliga title. Dortmund had a nine-point lead over arch rivals Bayern Munich in late January, only to let it slip through their fingers. Rather than sit and stew about their ...