si Page 465 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The End Is Nigh
The good news: A supremely gifted superstar center who has missed every minute of what has already been a pretty fun NBA season is nearly ready to return to action. The bad news: The happy and light-filled days when we are able to pretend that teams other than the Golden State Warriors have a realis...
Karl-Anthony Towns Is Sneakily Becoming An Adept Passer
Karl-Anthony Towns has gone on a tear in the new year, averaging 28.3 points on 62 percent true shooting and 15.0 boards through three games. A more surprising and slightly longer-running trend, meanwhile, is his average of 4.6 assists over his last 10 games. As a seven-footer with range out to thre...
Does Hockey Have Any Damn Business In Texas?
This week we’re talking about Notre Dame, New Year’s resolutions, whether you too can be a Football Man, and of course, Mitsubishi. ...
The Next Step For Elite Gymnasts Is To Form A Union
At the beginning of November, the USOC announced that it was taking the first step towards decertifying USA Gymnastics. This was a direct if belated response to the national governing body having spent two years repeatedly failing in virtually every facet related to the Larry Nassar sex abuse scanda...
Let's All Gawk At This Impossible Lionel Messi Pass
Every day, we wake up to face the cruel realities of a world driven to ruin by overconsumption and powerful men’s self-absorbed disregard for the rest of us. We all find ways to overcome the internal crises that come with being alive in 2019, finding solace in moments that make us believe that there...
You May Be Shocked To Learn Which 76er Is Reportedly Causing Problems Behind The Scenes
“Around the [Philadelphia 76ers] organization, there’s an urgency for [Brett] Brown and his coaching staff to stabilize the situation,” according to a report today by ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne and Adrian Wojnarowski. But which situation is that? You’re not gonna believe this, but it’s the situation of...
The Bond Between Jamal Murray And Nikola Jokic Is Pure And Righteous
All the Nuggets enjoy a life-sustaining relationship with their star. Witness the Denver offense at its best when the wings are satellites orbiting around their big soft sun, Nikola Jokic. He hangs doughy and resplendent in the high post, watching them whirl and cut, waiting for them to align just r...
It's Fucking Coffee
We thought stories about mundane things “taking over” locker rooms couldn’t have survived beyond Bleacher Report’s breathless story about how NBA players were obsessed with drinking water, but a contender for worst entry into the genre has emerged, courtesy of food-related schlongformer extraordinai...
Racist Politics Flack From Seattle: I'm Not Racist, I'm British
So, yesterday, hilariously inept* conservative politics flack and weird cable news creature Liz Mair did, and later deleted, a very bad tweet:...
The IOC Graciously Takes Credit For Improved Relationship On Korean Peninsula
The international sports cartel better known as the IOC released its annual statement about the year that was and what’s to come in 2019 and it’s very much like the IOC itself: bloated, self-congratulatory, and devoid of substance....
How Is Christian Pulisic Going To Fit In At Chelsea?
On Wednesday, Premier League giants Chelsea purchased Christian Pulisic from Borussia Dortmund for an astronomical €64 million (nearly $73 million). After finishing out this season in Germany, the winger will officially become a member of one of the biggest clubs in the world, in the best league in ...
Joel Embiid Flips Out After Ben Simmons Fights Him For A Rebound
Cartoon steam billowed out of every player’s ears towards the end of a spicy 119-113 Sixers win over the Clippers Tuesday night. Joel Embiid and Patrick Beverley had to be pried apart in a meeting of master trolls; Jimmy Butler and Avery Bradley then got a double-ejection for some choke-pushing. Ear...
Hot Damn, Chelsea Just Bought Christian Pulisic For A Shit-Ton Of Money
The rumor mill has been in overdrive these past few weeks about Christian Pulisic’s future, and today we got official confirmation of a move that still feels a little shocking: Premier League giants Chelsea have purchased the artist formally known as America’s Wonderteen from Borussia Dortmund for a...
Nevada Coach Jay Norvell Hath Donned The Blue Shirt Of Inspiration
In general, football head coaches are pretty much the dullest, weirdest, most wooden-brained group of men on earth, just a bunch of sweaty cosplaying doofuses blindly guessing at how to do their ridiculous job and what it even means to be good at that job, which probably isn’t really one job at all ...
Ben Simmons Keeps Dunking On Jazz Fans Over His Rookie Of The Year Win
Ben Simmons might not be able to shoot basketballs into hoops with any sort of consistency, but the Sixers point guard can still make life a living hell for his opponents. Just ask the hostile Utah crowd that attended Thursday night’s Sixers-Jazz game, which spent the majority of the game booing Sim...
Andrei Vasilevskiy Was Bug-Eyed With Disbelief At His Own Save
It was maybe not a game you’d have expected much excitement from. The Lightning lead the entire rest of the NHL, by a healthy margin, and haven’t lost in regulation since November. The Flyers, on the other hand, are scraping the bottom of the East and have already canned their coach and GM. But a mi...
A Transformer Exploded In New York And The Videos Rule Extremely Hard
I am told this spectacular light show over New York City tonight was caused by a transformer explosion at a power station in Queens, and not by a massive meteor burning up in the atmosphere, nor by slimy space aliens parking their city-sized mothership over the city and preparing the invasion. One t...
The Strange Career Of Jeff Monson, American MMA Fighter Turned Russian Politician
On September 9, 2018, American mixed martial arts fighter Jeff Monson became a government official in the Russian Federation. The former UFC title challenger, who was granted Russian citizenship by President Vladimir Putin less than four months earlier, was elected to a council of deputies in the ci...
The Best Things We Watched In 2018
I’m a sucker for any show about a bunch of flawed misfits working together for some common goal—Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Community, Veep, you name it. And no show in 2018 stuck together a more lovable, broken, inspiring group than NBC’s The Good Place, a half-hour comedy/sci-fi/philosophy lesson th...