si Page 497 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phil Kessel Fills Stanley Cup With Hot Dogs To Own Toronto Columnist
Remember when Steve Simmons, columnist and stooge at the Toronto Sun, kicked off his article about the Maple Leafs trading Phil Kessel with a (later debunked) anecdote about how Kessel used to eat a street hot dog every day? I surely won’t forget that, and two Stanley Cups later, neither has Phil....
What's The Deal With Bill Simmons And Casey Wasserman?
Bill Simmons’s website and podcast have been a bit ... Casey Wasserman-y this year, haven’t they?...
Philippe Coutinho Stars In The Hit New Transfer Soap Opera Of The Summer
We all laughed and cried together at every unpredictable twist during the summer’s preeminent melodrama known as NeyWatch, and we were sad to see it end. Luckily for us, that saga was such a hit that it has led to a spin-off series starring a couple of the same characters—namely Barcelona and Philip...
World-Class Athlete Demoted To "Just A Pretty Face," According To World-Class Moron
Genie Bouchard, who was once ranked as high as No. 5 in the world, has been having a rough time on the court. She lost to 102nd-ranked Andrea Petkovic last week and 51st-ranked Donna Vekic yesterday, and her global ranking has plummeted to No. 70. This is certainly not the trajectory that either Bo...
Bill Simmons's Rankings Of Patriots Wins, Ranked
Bill Simmons had his buddy Hench on his podcast yesterday. They ranked the best 25 Patriots wins since 2001. It took almost two hours and I listened to all of it. Here is the correct ranking of Simmons’s rankings, honorable mentions excluded....
Fox Sports Is Having A Little Trouble With That Pivot
Being the person in charge of a media outlet’s assignment desk is not a glamorous gig. You ask permission to use other people’s hard work and hope they don’t tell you to fuck off, which they have every right to do. The Fox Sports desk, after the network pursued a video-first online presence, is one ...
Jenny Simpson Celebrates Wildly After Taking Silver At World Championships
The women’s 1500 meters headlined the fourth day of the IAAF World Championships in track and field, and it was a worthy main event for the London crowd. Great Britain’s Laura Muir led the pack through the first 800 meters at 2:17, at which point the race turned into a sprint. ...
Slaving, Terrorism-Supporting Country's Wildly Expensive PR Campaign Is Far From Over
Qatar is a tiny, obscenely wealthy country/U.S. military base in the Persian Gulf that has, justifiably so, become synonymous of late with dynastic oligarchism, shameless venality, modern-day slavery, and financial support for Islamist terrorism. This, it probably goes without saying, isn’t quite t...
Didier Drogba Scores Great Goal Against Scrubbiest Scrubs Imaginable
Technically, this is still a highlight because it’s Didier Drogba scoring an absolute scorcher of a free kick from way far out that probably would’ve flown into the net had he been back in a Chelsea shirt facing like Jordan Pickford or something. However, it’s also kind of a lowlight because it’s Di...
Matt Joyce Suspended Two Games For Use Of Anti-Gay Slur
Matt Joyce of the Oakland Athletics was overheard using an anti-gay slur in an angry exchange with a boorish fan after being robbed of a base hit during Friday’s 8-6 loss to the Angels. Now Major League Baseball has suspended Joyce for two games following the incident....
Christian Pulisic Starts His Season Off By Embarrassing Bayern Munich
America’s Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, scored the opener of the German Super Cup for Dortmund against Bayern today, dispossessing a concerningly louche Javi Martinez and easily finishing....
Record-Setting Minor League Hit Streak Broken Up With Benches-Clearing Walk
Jose Siri is an outfielder in the Reds system, currently playing with the Class A Dayton Dragons of the Midwest League. Baseball Prospectus pegged him as Cincinnati’s 10th-best prospect on July 19—on that date Siri was already nearly a month into a hitting streak that would eventually stretch to and...
NeyWatch: Neymar Has Officially Signed With Paris Saint-Germain
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
Steph Curry Is Also Better At Golf Than You Are
Today Steph Curry is competing at the Ellie Mae Classic on the Web.com Tour, and, my friends, I have some dispiriting news: Steph appears to be balling....
NeyWatch: Somehow, This Has Gotten Even More Ludicrous
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
Sports! It's Tonight's <i>Mean Girls</i> Liveblog
Look, the White Sox already played today, so there are no sports worth paying attention to tonight. Mean Girls just started on ABC Family, so let’s follow along with that instead....
NeyWatch: No More Neymar For Barcelona
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
Under Armour Is Still Struggling
Until very recently, Under Armour was a surging company that had doubled its revenues in a few short years and was actively endorsing the MVPs of the NFL, NBA, and National League. However, in January, company stock plunged after CEO Kevin Plank admitted that revenue was slowing and that the company...
NeyWatch: Barcelona's Players Reportedly Sick And Tired Of The Neymar Bullshit
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
It's Getting Chippy
Folks, what you have here are two warriors, hungry to compete on every play....