si Page 523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Tecmo Super Bowl Simulation Is Live

Your Tecmo Super Bowl sims are back, and tonight’s Carolina vs. Washington game is LIVE:...

DeMarcus Cousins Berates Columnist For Writing About His Brother

Sacramento Kings center DeMarcus Cousins has never had a cozy relationship with the local media, but things seem to have hit a new low last week....

Here's The Tribute To José Fernández From Tonight's Univision Sports Awards

Tonight’s Premios Univision Deportes broadcast has been mostly lighthearted—it is, after all, that network’s ESPYs—but one standout moment was a tribute to José Fernández, with a performance by Lena Burke in front of the late Marlins pitcher’s mother and girlfriend....

UFC Golden Boy Sage Northcutt Loses By Submission, Again

UFC continues to insist 20-year-old blond wonderboy Sage Northcutt is the future of the franchise, but his rise up the MMA ranks has once again been retarded after his second-round loss by rear naked choke submission to Mickey Gall....

D-II Snow Action!

Today’s Division II national championship game is being played in a snowstorm, which has stifled both the Northwest Missouri State and North Alabama offenses—but QB-turned-WR Randy Schmidt dug down deep to pull out this one-handed highlight reel....

Princeton, WashU Suspend Men's Teams For Misogynistic Comments 

Two more universities have suspended men’s teams after they found misogynistic messages being sent by the players. Princeton suspended its men’s swimming and diving team late Thursday night after the team’s online listserv, with racist and misogynistic comments, made its way in front of university a...

N.C. Central Loses Celebration Bowl Thanks To Excessive Celebration Penalty

Grambling State won today’s Celebration Bowl 10-9 after a would-be tying touchdown had the extra point fouled up by an excessive celebration penalty....

Harlem's One-Antlered Deer Dies Of Pointless, Endless Political Feud

Today, a white-tailed, one-antlered deer that delighted crowds of Harlem residents for weeks died of stress and fear because the governor of New York is in a perpetual juvenile pissing match with the mayor of New York City....

Nothing About This Went Well For Jon Ryan

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The <i>Inside The NBA</i> Crew Remembers Craig Sager

Before the start of tonight’s Bucks-Bulls game on TNT, the Inside The NBA crew reminisced about their years working with the late Craig Sager. Ernie Johnson was off tonight due to an illness in the family, but he produced a video tribute for Sager, after which Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley, Shaq, and...

Get Bent

DeMarcus Cousins Is On The Sacramento Kings

DeMarcus Cousins is on the Sacramento Kings. He is not on the Boston Celtics. His time on the Boston Celtics has not gone well or poorly, because he has not had any time on the Boston Celtics, because all of his time has been on the Sacramento Kings. (Also he is not on any other teams, except for th...

The 300-Year Journey From Classical Standard To Gay Disco Anthem To The Most Iconic Anthem In Soccer

The first leg of the 1994 UEFA Cup Winners’ Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Paris Saint-Germain at the Parc Des Princes was rife with the tensions of early ‘90s provincial fandom. “The Boulogne Boys [PSG’s right-wing hooligan supporters] were looking for Arsenal fans to attack in the build-up to ...

Steaming Mad Luke Walton Curses Out Officials After Ejection

It took fewer than eight minutes for Luke Walton to turn into a profane, suit-wearing Daffy Duck and blow his top tonight at Monty McCutcheon and his officiating crew over a missed call. Walton was infuriated after bit of wrestling from DeMarcus Cousins, and he teed off on McCutcheon for a considera...

St. Louis News Station Mercilessly Roasts Rams Executive

Jeff Fisher got shitcanned today, meaning he will no longer be glowering on the Rams sidelines and mangling Jared Goff’s development. Nobody’s happier about this than St. Louis’ FOX affiliate, who reveled in Fisher’s failures and stunted on Rams COO Kevin Demoff. As FOX2 noted, Demoff’s father is Fi...

Nike Joins The Quest For A Sub Two-Hour Marathon

In a brilliant height-of-the-Christmas-sales-season marketing move, Nike announced via two breathless press releases, in Runner’s World and Wired, that they are entering the sub two-hour marathon game. ...

Nine Elements Of The LeBron <i>SI </i>Cover Meant To Distract You From His Hairline, Ranked

1. Safety pin on the lapel...

Here's A Weird Hockey Move: A Headbutt To The Crotch

Because why skate normally when you can lower your head to barrel directly into your opponent’s crotch instead? ...

Explosions Outside Turkish Soccer Stadium Kill 29 [Updated]

A pair of explosions outside a soccer stadium in Istanbul has killed 29 people and injured more than 150 others. Thought to be car bombs, the blast occurred two hours after a match between Besiktas and Bursaspor, two of Turkey’s top teams....

DeMarcus Cousins Does Beautiful Impression Of Joakim Noah's Shooting Form

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Joakim Noah’s shooting motion can be awkward as hell, but most basketball players do not acknowledge this truth by mocking it to Noah’s face in the middle of a game. DeMarcus Cousins is not most basketball players:...