si Page 535 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Abdi Abdirahman Still Wins The Party
Abdi Abdirahman said he is “way more relaxed” at 39 than he was when he was younger, causing me to experience a mutifying, brow-furrowing dissonance....

DraftKings Investigating Possible Collusion Scandal In Flagship Contest
DraftKings user papagates won first place in this weekend’s Fantasy Football Millionaire contest, DraftKings’ flagship contest. RotoGrinders has a breakdown of the strategy he used to take home the win, but DraftKings is currently investigating whether he used another illegal strategy to win by coll...

Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....

Some UFC Guy Tries To Diss Conor McGregor, Walks Straight Into Huge Burn
Nate Diaz came at Conor McGregor online this afternoon, and while we laud his utter disdain for the man and commitment to talk smack whenever we can, he still just did some tweets. At the UFC 205 press conference this afternoon, Some UFC Guy tried to diss McGregor to his face by claiming that he did...

America's Beautiful Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, Just Ran Through Real Madrid<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund, one of the world’s very best soccer teams, found themselves down against Real Madrid, the most famous sports team on the planet, in a Champions League match today. Looking to change the game, they turned to a goddamn American child, 18-year-old Christian Pulisic, to save the day. ...

Pakistan’s National Baseball Team Just Wants You To Know They Exist
This past weekend, Pakistan competed against teams representing Brazil, Great Britain, and Israel in World Baseball Classic qualifiers at MCU Park in Coney Island, Brooklyn. They were swept in the double-elimination tournament, losing to Brazil on Thursday afternoon and Great Britain Friday night, b...

Even Stormfront Thinks Hillary Clinton Won The Debate
Since being founded by a former Ku Klux Klan leader in 1996, Stormfront has been the internet’s premier destination for white nationalist and neo-Nazi keyboard warriors everywhere. And even they think Hillary Clinton won the debate tonight. ...

Howard Dean Thinks Donald Trump Might Be On Coke<em></em><em></em><em></em>
And he wouldn’t be the first....

Welcome To Hell: It’s Deadspin’s 2016 Presidential Debate Liveblog <em></em>
Tonight at 9 p.m., a former Secretary of State will take on a bloviating game-show racist for the chance to be our president. And we’ll be liveblogging every goddamn minute of it....


I Think Nate Silver Is Broken, Maybe?
Here are a couple tweets from politics polling seer Nate Silver, founder of ESPN math website FiveThirtyEight....

Michael Essien's 30th Birthday Party Was Just The Saddest<em></em>
Remember those early 2010s Jose Mourinho-led Real Madrid squads, who seemed to fight with everybody—opponents, Barcelona, referees, Barcelona, La Liga, Barcelona, teammates, and Barcelona? ...

FIFA Shutters Anti-Racism Task Force, Because There's No More Racism In Soccer
FIFA has chosen to dissolve its anti-racism task force. According to the Associated Press, the organization believes that the committee has “completely fulfilled its temporary mission.”...

Fight Breaks Out At Senators Practice After Patrick Sieloff Hits Clarke MacArthur
Bobby Ryan fought teammate Patrick Sieloff at today’s Ottawa Senators scrimmage after Sieloff laid a hit on winger Clarke MacArthur....

Francis Owusu Knocked Out By Helmet To Helmet Hit; Officials Review Video, Somehow Declare It Legal
Chris Owusu’s NFL career came to an end in part due to his having suffered at least five documented concussions. Here’s his little brother, Francis, getting knocked out tonight by a blow to the head that Pac-12 officials reviewed on video and declared to be safe and legal....

Ken Starr Believes Art Briles Is The True Victim In Baylor's Sexual Assault Scandal
Former Baylor chancellor Ken Starr (yes, that Ken Starr) praised the character of ousted head football coach Art Briles, saying he felt Briles had been the object of a “grave injustice,” in a Saturday interview with the Texas Tribune....

Peyton Manning's Hairline Is A Lie
Eagle-eyed reader Jim writes in that an ad campaign on ESPN.com features multiple Peyton Manning hairlines scattered amongst inane takes by Stephen A. Smith and fantasy football promotions. The former NFL QB is shilling for some brand you’ve never heard of, and when we checked for ourselves we found...

Tebow Jokes: Your Knoxville <i>College GameDay</i> Sign Roundup
Good afternoon. Here’s the best, and worst, of today’s College GameDay signs from Knoxville—with some help from SEC Nation:...


Mariners Catcher Steve Clevenger Suspended Without Pay For Tweets
The Seattle Mariners responded to backup catcher Steve Clevenger’s dogshit dumb tweets about protesters by suspending him without pay for the remaining 10 games of the season. Here is the relevant part of the statement released by general manager Jerry Dipoto:...