si Page 581 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lionel Messi And Éver Banega Are In The Middle Of A Free-Kick Contest
Reigning Champions League champs Barcelona are taking on Europa League winners Sevilla in the UEFA Supercup right now, but that’s not the only contest being waged in Tbilisi. Éver Banega and Lionel Messi are in the midst of an impromptu free kick-off....
Classic Man: "Dare A Rowdy, Drunk Friend To Eat A Raw Egg"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week we addressed how to interact with the ladies and dinner parties; today, we’ll tackle dealing with drunk friends....
My Dad Was The Maxell "Blown Away Guy," Even If I Can't Prove It
When I was little, I was convinced my dad was the Blown Away Guy. I was sure that was my dad’s martini swept up in the audio tempest, my dad’s tie thrashing behind him. The lush-haired guy in that ’80s-dominating ad for Maxell cassettes getting blasted by the music blasting from a pair of JBL speake...
Pilot Killed In Crash Wasn't Hired By Eagles Fans To Taunt Cowboys
Despite reports in national media outlets that a banner-carrying plane hired by Philadelphia Eagles fans to taunt the Dallas Cowboys crashed at Compton Airport, killing the pilot, the Los Angeles Times and other Southern California-based sources have confirmed that’s not the case....
¡Qué Golazo!
Ajax pounded AZ Alkmaar 3-0 today as could probably be expected, led by a brace from Anwar El Ghazi, the first strike of which was this absolute ace....
Yasiel Puig Catches Gregory Polanco With Perfect Throw
You’re Gregory Polanco. You’re not sure what to make of Starling Marte’s soft yawn of a hit, so you hedge. The rightfielder won’t be able to pick you off if you find the right space, right? Surely he won’t try to barehand it? ...
In 2015, We Have A Grady Sizemore Highlight
Look, I’m as shocked as you are. It’s August 7, 2015, and we are presenting video of a Grady Sizemore highlight. That hasn’t happened in these pages in more than nine years! ...
Extreme Humidity Is Turning My Home Into Gorgonzola
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
We'll All Go Down Together: Billy Joel Says Goodbye To Nassau Coliseum
It’s a little after six on a sultry Tuesday evening, and the Champions sports bar nestled inside the Long Island Marriott is packed with an unusual crowd. The walls are lined with memorabilia from the New York Islanders, who up until a few days ago called the crumbling Nassau Coliseum next door home...
Classic Man: "Always Invite A Few Sworn Enemies To Your Parties"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Earlier this week we addressed how to interact with the ladies; today, we’ll tackle dinner parties. ...
Baseball Squirrel Just Thinks It Can Go Wherever It Wants
A dumb squirrel jumped onto the field in the eighth inning of today’s Royals-Tigers game, and acted like it owned the damn place. The stupid thing ran around as if people were there to watch it. Hey, here’s a newsflash: they weren’t....
Dem's Fightin' Words
Thanks to Peteski for hipping me to these dope pictures of base brawls by the most talented Harrison Freeman over at Juxtapoz Magazine. ...
Messi Headbutt? Messi Headbutt!
I’m not sure what the evil Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa did to make the kind-hearted and benevolent Lionel Messi headbutt and throat push him, but it had to be pretty bad. Here’s the full video:...
The NFL's Dumbass Deflategate Science Report Is A Feature, Not A Bug
Last night, a mountain of documents and transcription emerged from Tom Brady’s late June appeal hearing before Roger Goodell. It’s been a circus, with a series of insults, emails, and sneaker requests to Tom Ford pouring out of the file cabinet, but the testimony most relevant to the case circles ba...
Classic Man: "Do Not Make Animal Noises At Women"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Yesterday, we addressed what to do if you’re on a flight and the pilot dies; today, a word of advice re: interacting with the ladies....
Stun Gun-Wielding Ref Kicked In Face, KO'd By Blow To Back Of His Head
Soccer itself—and lower leagues especially—is prone to a kind of reckless, senseless violence not typically found in American sports. Toss in a heavy dose of Russians to the mix, and what is already often a caustic concoction turns downright toxic....
Classic Man: "What To Do If The Pilot Dies"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. This is our first example, on the matter of air travel. ...
HitchBOT Was A Literal Pile Of Trash And Got What It Deserved
First things first. “HitchBOT,” for all practical purposes, was a garbage can with an iPhone in it. It could not walk or stand or fire lasers or open a can of beans. By what standard was this piece of useless shit a “robot” in the first place? The answer: a shabby standard. A Canadian one....
Master Of NBA Mimicry Unveils Perfect Kobe Bryant Impression
@BdotAdot5, the man who graced us with that balls-out homage to Russell Westbrook, has been hard at work pumping out more impressions of NBA players. His work as James Harden and Tim Duncan are highly recommended, but his latest entry may be his best:...
A New Danny Brown Song! (Finally!)
Rapper and evolving-hairstyle-with-a-tongue Danny Brown has had a relatively quiet 2015, but today, the Detroit emcee is back with a new track called “Worth It,” a collab with producer Clams Casino. It’s not like he’s been totally silent this year, but I’m glad to hear from the guy anyway....