si Page 630 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Made Some Really Stupid Madden GIFs, And So Can You
For some reason, EA thought it would be a good idea to let the internet make GIFs using Madden player models. They made a site for it and everything, underwritten by the NFL, NFLPA, and Google. We spent 15 minutes trying to make them regret it. Here's what we came up with, but we're sure you crimina...
Lionel Messi Still Has Haters In Argentina
Just when we thought Lionel Messi had finally gotten over his fraught past with his native Argentina, some random Argentine coach reminds us of how shortsighted those South Americans can be. Or maybe he's right and Messi really should just quit soccer and "go play golf instead."...
Junior Seau's Family Rejects Concussion Settlement With NFL
Junior Seau's family will back out of the proposed concussion settlement being offered to former NFL players, ESPN's Mark Fainaru-Wada and Steve Fainaru report today. Instead, the family will pursue its own wrongful death suit, according to the family's lawyer, Steven Strauss. ...
Large, Half-Naked Dodgers Fan Is Living The Motherfucking Dream
Hi, what are you up to? Actually, shut up, it doesn't matter what you are doing because you are not this Dodgers fan, who, aside from this good doggie, is the only one on Earth doing this whole "existence" thing correctly....
The Long And Stupid Quest To Build A Better Baseball Cap
Truly great inventors can see problems where you or I wouldn't. Consider the humble baseball cap. It hasn't changed much in decades, and it hasn't needed to; its functionality, comfort, and versatility lends itself to all kinds of athletic activity, such as playing baseball, spouting monosyllabic pl...
Townsfolk Embark On Thrilling Mission To Remove Bucket From Bear's Head
For weeks, the people of Perry Township, Penn., had been crossing paths with a black bear that had its head stuck in a plastic bucket. The bear became known as Bucket Bear, and the townspeople's concerns became so great that they made a Facebook page dedicated to saving Bucket Bear from his bucket, ...
Wisconsin QB Doesn't Have An Injured Shoulder; He Has The Yips
Wisconsin head football coach Gary Andersen said Tuesday that backup quarterback Joel Stave was out indefinitely with a shoulder injury. Later that day, Andersen rowed it back, saying Stave's shoulder wasn't hurt; he's just working his way through a severe case of the yips....
Sidney Crosby Was Not Arrested In Ottawa
Preeeetty major fuckup here from the Ottawa Sun, which reported earlier this morning that Penguins star Sidney Crosby was arrested for unknown reasons. That would be a big story in the middle of the NHL offseason doldrums, if it were true, which it is not....
Wes Welker Suspended Four Games For Amphetamines (And Maybe Molly, Too)
Well, damn. According to Adam Schefter, the NFL will give Broncos wide receiver Wes Welker a four-game suspension for violating the league's performance-enhancing drug policy. Welker reportedly used amphetamines. (Update: Molly?)...
The Most Compelling Athlete In America Right Now Is Here To Play Chess
Magnus Carlsen has been in St. Louis since last week and will be staying through next weekend. If you're not up on your FIDE ratings, this is something like 2006-vintage Roger Federer doing a tennis residency in Toledo. ...
Dildo In Reporter's Ear Improves Sky Sports Transfer Day Report
To be fair to the miscreant, listening to someone extol the virtues of Tom Cleverley is a bit like taking a dildo to the ear, so we'll allow it....
Slightly Creepy Bart Simpson Joins Russian Soccer Club
In some kind of convoluted branding exercise, Russian soccer club Zenit St. Petersburg introduced a slightly off Bart Simpson as its new player today. Synergy!...
Mariners Suspend Jesus Montero For Ice Cream Incident With Scout
Last week we told you about an incident involving Mariners catcher Jesus Montero, a heckling team scout, and a hurled ice cream sandwich. In light of what happened, the Mariners have decided to suspend Montero for the rest of the season....
I Just Spent A Half-Hour Watching Miloš Teodosić Throw Pretty Passes
All of these are nice, but that bit of bank pool at 2:10 is the winner. ...
Here Are Two Of The Dumbest <em>GameDay</em> Signs You'll Ever See
The above picture, preserved by SB Nation, shows a startlingly large number of peppy Oklahoma State kids posing behind one of the stupidest GameDay signs we've seen—which itself is saying something. Don't they teach you kids nothin'?...
How Heisman-Finalist Quarterbacks Have Changed Over The Years
It's the season for wildly premature Heisman speculation, and considering quarterbacks have won all but two Heismans since 2000 (Mark Ingram and Reggie Bush being the exceptions), a few quarterbacks and their gaudy stat lines will be in the running this year. But just how far have the goal posts mov...
Cowboys Fans Got Ripped Off More Than Any Other Fans This Pre-Season
There's no great secret that pre-season tickets are the biggest scam in the great cascade of scams that fuels the NFL machine. Season-ticket holders are compelled to pay full freight for two meaningless games played by guys they've never before or will ever again hear of. ...
Jenny Simpson Is Better Than Any Gold Medal Or World Record
On Thursday, Jenny Simpson won the 1500-meters in Zurich, and with it, the Diamond League overall title in the event. She became the best miler in the world in 2014, and in a sport that often mires itself chasing times or medals, Simpson's accomplishment had nothing to do with either and was more re...