si Page 774 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Sacramento Kings' Online Store Was Down For More Than Two Months, And No One Noticed
It's an uncontroversial statement that the Kings aren't very popular these days. They brought up the rear of the Pacific, again, and are near the bottom in league attendance. And there's also the little matter of the team probably moving within the next few years. The salvation of a new arena fell t...

This Movie About Whales Raising A Future Olympic Swimmer Needs To Get Made Immediately
Great movie idea or greatest movie idea? The Hollywood Reporter has the exclusive details:...

More People Watched TNT's Crappy <i>The Closer</i> Spinoff Than Eagles-Patriots On Monday Night: TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...

Gregg Williams Gave A Pep Talk To His Old High School Football Team
Disgraced former Rams, former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams is taking some time off to find himself, after being given a year to do so for his role in New Orleans's bounty scandal. Last we heard, he was backpacking through northern Thailand and spending time with the native tribes, but...

Biloxi Beach Bros Don't Care Isaac Is Coming, They're Too Busy Air-Humping An NBC Reporter
Isaac's finally found his seat upgrade, and is heading to assault the Gulf Coast with actual hurricane-force winds. While FEMA stands ready and second-tier-couldn't-get-the-RNC-gig reporters speak breathlessly from the scene, actual Mississippians don't seem to be letting the whole fuss get to the...

"Touching Me, Touching You": You Won't Hear Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" At Penn State Football Games Anymore
Somehow, "Sweet Caroline" has become a staple of stadium soundtracks nationwide. The song has been played in the middle of the eighth inning at every Red Sox home game since 2002. It's also been featured at Pitt football games—enough for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette to run a 1,000-word feature about...

Los Angeles Sports Anchor Suggests Vin Scully Should "Get His Shit Together" Live On-Air
Vin Scully delighted us all in announcing this weekend he'll return for a 64th season in the Dodgers' broadcast booth. We're looking forward to another season of Vin telling humorous anecdotes and bowdlerizing profane managerial outbursts....

What's The Deal With All These White Computers?
As my local Starbucks continues to flow with disgusting burnt coffee, the computer world is full of greedy racists. Not much going on this weekend, so, I was just sitting in my local Starbucks looking around when it struck me: what is the deal with all these white computers? And why do I have to pay...

Adrian Gonzalez Homers In His First At Bat As A Dodger
You know what they say about first impressions: always hit a three-run home run in your first at bat with a new team if you'd like to make a good impression. Hours before, Gonzalez, Josh Beckett and Nick Punto were on a plane en route to Los Angeles as the trade was made official. Gonzalez did not ...

The Mets Spent An Hour Listening To Various Versions Of The Oasis Classic "Wonderwall"
I've always wanted to be in a major league clubhouse before a game, just to see what goes on. I imagine a lot of messing around, playing video games and guys hiding from Pedro Gomez. And blasting music, of course....

Summer Camp Blowjob Follies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Joe Paterno/Penn State Defenders: Here's Your Chance To Make Your Case
As tends to happen now whenever we write about Penn State, the discussion below our post Wednesday about Graham Spanier and the Freeh report quickly filled up with Penn State supporters responding with varying degrees of anger. (Some exchanges were ultimately reasonable; others were not.)...

Local Virgins Say Tim Tebow May Be Able To Remain A Virgin In New York, Reports <em>NYT</em>
The sports section of today's New York Times busied itself with yet another important journalism project on the topic of Tim Tebow's virginity. Tebow himself, however, was "unavailable for comment," so Times writer Bob Tedeschi did the next most logical thing: He tracked down a handful of young NYC...

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The <em>Football Outsiders Almanac 2012</em>
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12.50 or order the printed book from Amazon....

Batista Takes In An Ashlee Simpson Concert: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Why Should We Care About Concussions When NFL Players Don't?
At a June roundtable event in New York City hosted by PACE, an education program sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods, former New York Giants linebacker Carl Banks told a haunting story about the culture of the NFL in the 1980s....

Everyone Hates Preseason Football, Except The 9.5 Million People Who Watched Colts-Steelers: TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...

Kentucky Monitors Athletes' Social Media Accounts For Sports Agents' Names
Just in case you thought the whole creepy social media monitoring thing was starting to die down, it's not. Back in May, we got a glimpse into LSU's use of a social media monitoring company called UDiligence, where athletes were already being monitored for the use of hundreds of hilarious trigger w...

Rick Sutcliffe Wants Melky Cabrera Deported
And here we thought the dumbest thing to happen since Melky tested positive for taking testosterone was that Melky and his crew had cooked up a fake website to try to prove his innocence. Pshaw. Melky has not been charged with a crime, but that's of no concern to ESPN baseball analyst/sheriff Rick...