si Page 807 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked By Racial Stereotypes!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Has An Additional Year-End Fee Of $90
We can't think what else the disproportionate $89.55 "miscellaneous" charge could be....

Lawrence Taylor, On If He Is A Changed Man After Getting Busted With An Underage Prostitute: "No"
In a meandering and bizarre interview aired Wednesday night on Showtime's Inside The NFL, Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor attempted to respond to questions about his 2010 arrest for soliciting an underage prostitute but mostly left the impression that more trouble's in his future....

Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...

Clint Dempsey Is Better At Soccer Than You, And Every Other American Ever
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

A Chronicle Of Doing It: Nike And Destruction
Republished with permission from The Classical....

Report: Wisconsin's Former Associate AD Resigned Because He Allegedly Groped A Male Subordinate
John Chadima resigned as the associate athletic director at the University of Wisconsin just after returning from the Rose Bowl earlier this month. Turns out he is accused of groping a male subordinate while at a party on that trip, according to what a source told WKOW, a television station in Madi...

Why The Giants Targeted A Player Prone To Concussions
The day after a conference championship game, there is an avalanche of coverage, usually sticking to the main storylines. But other than this New York Magazine story, it's odd that no one had made much of a fuss over two Giants saying they specifically targeted Kyle Williams because he had a history...

The Giants Went After Kyle Williams Because He Had A History Of Concussions
On NYMag.com, the splendid Ben Wallace-Wells takes a look at fumblin' Kyle Williams and the Giants' strategy. "They'd targeted Williams for extra violence because they knew he had suffered several concussions in the past, and they think it worked." [NYMag]...

Bristolmetrics: From Jan. 7-18, <em>SportsCenter</em> Devoted 13.5 Minutes to Hockey Total, And Other Fun Facts
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Tennis Players Bill Simmons Would Do: Another Classic From The Secret Sports Guy Vault
It's a curious quirk of the internet that almost nothing survives of Bill Simmons's pre-ESPN work. After seeing last week's newly unearthed column from Simmons's AOL Digital City days, a reader sent along another Boston Sports Guy entry rescued from the dustbin of history. If you've got any old Simm...

Chuck Giampa Takes You Inside The Spacious Mind Of A Judge
This is from Friday night but that does not make it any less awkward or cringe-inducing. Chuck Giampa, along with his 132-world-championship-matches-officiated mind, made his Showtime boxing debut. It...did not go well....

Yes, This Is CBS Host James Brown Interviewing A Fake Baby
It took CBS all of 15 hours to do something more embarrassing than prematurely reporting Joe Paterno's death. Here's a clip from the network's The NFL Today, something we're pretty sure is an advertisement for E*Trade—though we thought FCC rules mandated such things needed to be disclosed to the ...

Lionel Messi's Hat Trick-Finishing Goal Brought Announcer Ray Hudson To Orgasm
Barcelona spanked Málaga 4-1 today in La Liga, and the world's best soccer player Lionel Messi took over as Spain's leading scorer on the season with this hat trick-finishing goal. It sent commentator Ray Hudson into an even more over-the-top frenzy than usual, from his cats-mating shriek to his e...

Mishaps In Online Advertising: The Joe Paterno Edition
This is a screen grab from the ESPN front page taken earlier this morning. Go ahead and file it in the Really, Really Poor Timing folder....

Deadspin Archives: Brent Musburger Offers Some Troubling News About Joe Paterno
In October 2008, before most of the world knew anything about Jerry Sandusky, Brent Musburger was a guest on the Dan Patrick Show and offered a now seemingly prophetic glimpse into what kept Joe Paterno going. Originally published October 15, 2008....

Homemade Infographic: Google Images Isn't Excited About The Los Angeles Clippers Yet
Have Chris Paul and Blake Griffin led Los Angeles's No. 2 NBA team into a new era of respect and recognition yet? Here's an analysis of results from a Google Images search for "Clippers": ...

Cockblocked By Gum!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Oh Yu: A Collection Of Awful Yu Darvish Headline Puns
Japanese pitcher Yu Darvish officially signed to a six-year, $60 million deal with the Texas Rangers on Wednesday. Darvish, perhaps the most highly-touted player to ever come out of Japan, will be counted on to help shore up the Rangers' pitching staff following the loss of their former No. 1 starte...

20,000 Screaming Children Watch A Soccer Match
The last time AZ Alkmaar came to town, an Ajax fan attacked their keeper. AZ was pulled off the field, and the Dutch FA later declared the game a wash. Today was the replay, but due to the Netherlands' — and specifically's Ajax's — problems with ultras, the match was supposed to be played in an empt...