si Page 814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Mentioned Tim Tebow 18 Times Last Week, Somehow
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

NBA Suspends Kevin Love Two Games For Face-Stomping Luis Scola
He may have escaped punishment on the court, but Kevin Love couldn't hide from the NBA league office. The Timberwolves forward will sit two games (against Sacramento and Memphis) for this face-stomp against the Houston Rockets' Luis Scola....

Lakers Coach Mike Brown Earns One-Game Supension, $25k Fine For Saturday Outburst
CSN Philly is reporting Lakers head coach Mike Brown will miss tonight's game against the 76ers while sitting out a league-issued one-game suspension for the above incident in which Brown made contact with an official during the Lakers' loss in Utah....

NBC's "Brotherhood Of Man" Super Bowl Tribute Featured Ron Swanson And Thus Was Awesome
Sure, this is just one long promo for all the (mostly) crappy programming on NBC. But for just one brief moment, there's Ron Swanson being Ron Swanson—and for that, we will watch it repeatedly. [NBC]...
![John Dennis Says ESPN's Ryen Russillo Is A "Stumbling Drunk Alcoholic" [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4mmm49p507jpg.jpg)
John Dennis Says ESPN's Ryen Russillo Is A "Stumbling Drunk Alcoholic" [UPDATE]
A longtime Boston media beef came to another head last night, one which has WEEI broadcasting personality John Dennis blasting ESPN's Scott Van Pelt Show co-host Ryen Russillo as an alcoholic and alleging Russillo was forcibly ejected from ESPN's own Super Bowl party....

A Chuck Norris Doppelgänger Was Doing Bizarre Things On ESPN Today
I hate those faux walls they put up behind basketball announcers during booth shots. You know what I'm talking about, those screens they erect to make it look like the broadcasters are in a studio while simultaneously blocking the view of people up front who are trying to watch Quick Change or Fr...

Ted Leonsis Has Had It With The <em>Washington Post</em> "Harboring Criminals" Who Resell Wizards Tickets, The Way The Wizards Do
As long as Dan Snyder is around Washington, Wizards and Capitals owner Ted Leonsis won't ever be the city's most thin-skinned sports owner. But with his Caps and Wizards turning in disappointing and horrifying seasons, respectively, Leonsis has been showing the strain....

Cockblocked By Blood!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

20 Rules For Your Super Bowl Party
Originally published Jan. 29, 2009....

"Cut Back To A Wide Shot. Open The Skull": The <em>Faces Of Death</em> Guy Looks Back
John Alan Schwartz was on a California beach, trying to capture something life-affirming on camera. Or something that at least would contrast with death. He had a woman and a baby in a hot tub. This was going to be the final scene of his 1978 movie Faces of Death—a low-budget stunt project that wo...

Just Like Us: A-Rod Apparently Likes To Read Gossip Magazines On Airplanes
Reader Carl snapped this photo (click to enlarge) of Alex Rodriguez around 8 a.m. this morning at the airport in Miami. He sent it along because he couldn't help but notice the magazine in A-Rod's left hand was Us Weekly. Here's Carl's take on the situation:...

"They're Just Waiting Until We Die": Former NFL Players Suing The League Describe Its Indifference Toward Injuries
On a coffee table at his suburban Dallas home, Tony Dorsett recently laid out two pages of color-coded images for a reporter from the Associated Press, saying they show how his brain is slowly dying. The images were brain scans, and Dorsett said doctors told him the red parts indicate his brain's l...

"Dumb Fuckers" Attend University Club Fair, Student Paper Reports
Unlike the inexplicable floating fuck in the Greenville News's story on the SEC Title Game, we have a pretty good idea of how the Suffolk Journal ended up running this subhed yesterday. As explained by a red-faced editor's note, it was some joke text meant to be switched out later, only it never was...

Man Named Tom Brady Says Thing, Radio Station Reports
"I'm Tom Brady, I'm from Staten Island and I predict Giants will prevail," Tom Brady told some poor reporter at 1010 WINS who drew the short straw. When you're scraping the bottom of Rick Reilly's barrel for Super Bowl week stories, it's probably time to rethink things....

Where Have You Gone, Pert Coed Rumps Of The Alabama Fax Cam?
Last year Bama livened up the roll call that is National Signing Day by pointing a webcam at their fax machine, and sending female staffers to post the latest commitments. But some other SEC school complained, and this year Alabama is back to the boring big board. How do you expect me to read those ...

Dan Borislow Told His Players To Call Him "Daddy," And Other Tales From A Miserable MagicJack Locker Room
We've told you all about Dan Borislow, the renegade owner who managed to bring down the whole of Women's Professional Soccer. His abusive, racist, sexist emails. His "Batmobile-like motorcycle." His complete inability to run a team, and his total unwillingness to market it....

This Is A Kraftwerk Pun On The Cover Of <em>Sports Illustrated</em>
SI, as guest-edited by the old guy on staff at Pitchfork. [Via SI Now]...

Oh, This Is An Unfortunate Headline
Writes tipster Craig H., the orally committed Jack Snowball "is a high school kid so tread lightly."...

Meet The Next Generation Of NFL Analysts You'll Probably Wind Up Hating
Esquire talked to dozens of industry experts to gauge which current players are best suited to shout clichés and pass off conventional wisdom as shrewd analysis in a future life. Cue the laugh track. [Esquire]...

Here's The Most Gruesome MMA Injury We've Ever Seen, And We're Going To Go Throw Up Now (UPDATE: Fake!)
Click through to see what happened to Isiah Ordiz's femur after he wouldn't tap out of a heel hook from Rousimar Palhares. I cannot stress this enough: this is a Faces of Death-level photo and you will wish you hadn't seen it....