si Page 834 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Apologies To Andrés Cantor, But Mountain Biking Announcers Are The Craziest
Young Briton Danny Hart obliterated the best downhill mountain bikers by nearly 12 seconds this weekend at the world championships in Champery, Switzerland. Normally, Hart's performance would soon retreat back into the shadow world that is downhill mountain biking. But no. Not this day. Not if com...

Tim Tebow's Jersey Sales Are Down Because They're "All Out Of Size Sexy"
The Messiah Watch is officially on alert: Last week we learned that Tim Tebow's Broncos jersey—once record-setting—is only the tenth most popular in the NFL. This bright Denver man suggests that retailers must be "all out of size sexy"; another non-believer in KDVR's segment suggests it's because ...

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Plagued By Indecision
Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran pitcher and embodiment of struggle against the all-consuming void, pitched again on Saturday. Or did he? He came in on a three-game losing streak; the Yankees won; he is still on a three-game losing streak. His line: 6.1 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 7 K, 1 BB, 2 HR....

Watch Leo Messi Dribble Past Half The Nigerian Team To Set Up This Goal
Argentina beat Nigeria 3-1 today in a friendly in Bangladesh. As usual, Lionel Messi was the engine for Los Albicelestes. He fed Gonzalo Higuain with a beautiful one-touch chip for the first goal. But the real peach was the second goal, created by Messi's blistering midfield run (0:45 in the video...

Watch A-Rod's Spectacularly Stiff <i>Entourage</i> Cameo
This may surprise some of you: Entourage, that show about rich men and their cell phone conversations, is still on the air. It's the final season, and so the producers are really going all out: there's a pro athlete cameo (or five or ten) in just about every episode. Last night's show, "Second to ...

"You Mad Bro" Sign Kicks Off High School Football Racism Controversy
Time once again to play Ohio or Florida! Time's up, it's Ohio....

Catholics, Conservatives Call For Brian Kelly's Job; Not Because He Lost, But Because He Cursed
Here is what we presume was Brian Kelly's internal monologue during Notre Dame's loss on Saturday:...

I-Team: A "Totally Single Virgin" Investigative Status Report
Shortly after the call went out for information regarding the beer-holding woman wearing a sign prominently advertising herself as a (Red Sox) "virgin" yesterday, tipster Justin responded with this report:...

Deadspin Classic: Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
The New York Mets are 13.5 games out of first in the NL East, and potential owner David Einhorn has gone the traditional route and quit on the club. It is, as usual, a bad time to be a sad Mets fan. With that in mind, we look back at the saddest of the sad Mets fans: Seth Fleischauer, the self-procl...

Justin Bieber, Like Everyone Else, Is Capable Of Beating Steve Nash Off The Dribble
A few days ago, Justin Bieber shared a video with the world that alleges to show Justin Bieber crossing up Steve Nash. We understand that this is pointless, because Nash regularly allows non-teen pop stars to cross him up (and it doesn't even seem to be recent, as Nash wasn't a part of Ludacris's ...

This Year, You'll Be Able To Get Fresh Ink At Islanders Games
"The Islanders have struck up a partnership with Tattoo Lou's and will be inserting a new shop owned by them into the arena. [Blue Line Station] (H/T Brian B. and Hockey News)...

Cockblocked By Peruvian Hallucinogenics!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Italian Basketball Team Will Run Circles And Circles And Circles And Circles Around Everyone At EuroBasket
This clipboard belongs to Simone Pianigiani, the head coach of the Italian national basketball team, and we're told that it almost always resembles a toddler's masterpiece (and, yes, possibly an unintentional dong as well)....

Is This Wisconsin OC Paul Chryst Drinking And Dipping His Way Through A 51 Point Outburst?
We saw Twitter buzz about this last night, but this morning a tipster who shall remain nameless ("College football fans are crazy. I don't need people tracking down my Facebook account or anything.") sent along two screengrabs of Wisconsin offensive coordinator Paul Chryst appearing to spit tobacco ...

SprtsCntr: Let the Russell Wilson Slurpfest Begin!
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Boston Pro Lacrosse Team With A Mascot Who Loved Lap Dances Has Suspended Operations
Boston Blazers President and GM Doug Reffue announced — in a letter to "the Blazers community" on the team website — that the three-year-old National Lacrosse League franchise was temporarily closing up shop. They're looking "both locally and nationally" for a new home for the 2013 season....

Taylor Swift Duetting With Nicki Minaj On "Super Bass" Is Perhaps The Greatest Thing To Happen To Pop Music This Summer
Deadspin once said some very nasty things about Taylor Swift. We now want to say some nice things about Taylor Swift....

Washington Man, Stung By Bee, Decides To Pour Gasoline All Over The Beehive And Blow It Up
Those damned bees. They sting you, and perhaps you get particularly swollen, and somewhat irritated, and then your summer day is ruined and you've got a moderate-sized welt on your arm....

Gilbert Arenas Deletes Account After Twitter Fight, Depriving World Of Free Sneakers And Sexism
We'll say this about Gilbert Arenas's Twitter account, which was taken down some time today: it wasn't boring, like LeBron James's worthless feed, and it wasn't used for incessant self-promotion, like, well, every pro athlete ever. It was just sort of obsessed with sneakers and almost criminally off...

Yes, Anderson Silva Is Being Likened To Muhammad Ali...
And Michael Jordan. And Wayne Gretzky. Okay, fine. Anderson Silva is a great athlete. He mauled Yushin Okami last weekend at UFC 134. But Ali, Jordan, and Gretzky rolled into one? Come now. Come. Let us not forget that a year ago, Silva was the one getting mauled for five rounds by Chael Sonnen unti...