si Page 868 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Airbag Prank Nearly Launches Man Through Ceiling
Get a bunch of Russians together, ply them with alcohol, and it's only a matter of time before this happens. Interestingly, this is a perfect re-creation of the later years of the Soviet Space Program....

And The Mariotti Mug Shot Photoshops Have Begun
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...

MLB Confidential, Part 3: Texas Rangers
Our final document — at least for now — belongs to the Texas Rangers. Out of all the financial statements we've seen, it offers maybe the fullest picture of owning a team....

Randy Johnson's Lollapalooza Pictures Are Online, Not Terrible
Randy Johnson—photographer of the stars—took pictures of Soundgarden's set at Lollapalooza for Spin, and while it is—unfortunately—hoopster free, it is a solid collection of shots from what was probably a very loud concert. [Spin]...

Tiger Woods And Elin Have Finally Divorced
The Tiger Woods typing robot finally reappeared on his personal site and formally issued a statement about the death of the marriage that gave the world two bouncing baby Swedecaublasians. Dogs Chasing Cars has the details....

MLB Confidential, Part 2: Seattle Mariners
You've seen the first round of financial statements. Now take a look inside the Mariners' books....

MLB Confidential: The Financial Documents Baseball Doesn't Want You To See, Part 1
We've obtained financial statements for a number of baseball teams — containing perhaps some of the most closely guarded information in sports — and they offer a rare glimpse at how MLB franchises do brisk business in the modern era....

When Isn't Plagiarism Plagiarism? When Is It?
The latest kerfuffle in the newspaper-stole-info-from-a-blog-it-didn't-credit war pits SB Nation's "Pension Plan Puppets" vs. the Toronto Sun....

A's Ballboy Scores Chick Using Four-Balls Trick
You'd think the Oakland Athletics would plaster embed links of their first attention-worthy event since Canseco pumped McGwire's ass full of inject-a-juice far and wide. Not the case. So, here's an excerpt of the story ......

Jay Mariotti Arrested, Possible Domestic Disturbance (UPDATE)
Here's what the LA Times says about the overnight arrest ......

Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....

It's Still Painful, Fun to Watch Lenny Dykstra Talk
Now I may not be some big-city financier, but Lenny Dykstra had me at "The steroid issue really isn't relevant right now. ... But [Jim] Cramer's been the only guy that's been correct. ... I'm 168-0 right now."...

Private Stache: Roger Clemens Gets Intimate With Old Bush, For Once
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Cockblocked by Snow! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

LeGarette Blount's Punching Problem
First there was this one. Then there was this one. Now, College Football Talk reveals another time Blount's temper was channeled through his fists. There's a good chance Blount's first career rushing stat in the NFL will be for -15 yards. [PFT/CFT]...

Random Reader Email: The Creepiest Home Invasion Ever
Here's a poor soul who walked into their apartment one morning to find a stranger there. Jarring, right? But it's so random and weird that...well just read it....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: What Lance Cade's Death Means For Linda McMahon's Senate Bid
Every week or so, the Masked Man honors the wrestling's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Lance Cade, who died on Friday of heart failure. He was 29. Already his death has become an issue in former WWE CEO Linda McMahon's Senate campaign....

Last Night's Winner: MMA's New "Quantum Physics" Division
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like MMA champ Matt Horwich, who showed in a post-fight interview that he's the smartest man in the world. That, or he'd just been punched in the head repeatedly....