si Page 873 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....

Area Man Hits Two Holes In One
His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]...

Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a home in Roberts and found a man apparently hallucinating an attack by clowns." [Pioneer Press](via DCarr)...

Mike Tyson Offers A Few Thoughts On Gentrification
On returning to his old Brownsville neighborhood: "This white woman come up, and I'm thinking, Wow. When I was a kid, she would've been robbed and raped and left for dead. This is a real strange scenario, and I just wanted to cry. I'm like, 'Who am I? Where's my heritage?'" [Details]...

With No Further Ado, Buzz Bissinger Challenges Andy Reid as a Coach and Father (But Mostly as a Father)
When Buzz Bissinger smells blood, Buzz Bissinger attacks. You know this already. I just dig how it makes for quality after-school-rumble 140-character entertainment like it did today, when his old/new paper (the Philadelphia Inquirer) ran an above-the-A1-fold piece on how difficult having a couple ...

Buy Anna Kournikova For 15 Minutes
Add the Philadelphia Freedoms professional tennis team to the "Needs to Re-learn How Liam Neeson Reacts to Human Trafficking" list....

Mayweather/Pacquiao Deadline Passes, Mayweather/Pacquiao Deadline Doesn't Really Pass
As far as media conference calls go, the 3 a.m. ones are the best....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....

Cockblocked by Nick Swisher! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Breaking: Man Customizes Replica Jersey To Make Lewd Joke
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....

Last Night's Winner: Brett Favre's Unsmiling Daughter
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Breleigh Ann Favre, 11-year-old spawn of Brett, unamused ESPYs guest, symbol of a disgruntled sports nation....

Deadspin Classic: ESPN Will Never, Ever Do This Again
In 1998, Norm Macdonald hosted the ESPYs and did just about everything short of setting the room on fire. It was the last time ESPN even got close to being dangerous, and it was the last time the ESPYs were worth watching....

Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....

ESPN Actually Spoofs Itself With Bill Simmons's <em>The Decision</em>
The Sports Fella took to Beadle & Colin's Smile Time Shit-Sack Variety Hour yesterday to announce whether he would renew his season tickets to the Clippers in a parody of that LeBron thing. There's more self-criticism here than Ohlmeyer's last column....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Villanova (UPDATE)
"This was a webpage one of our basketball players had to make for a computer science course. Not an essay exactly, but definitely an excellent depiction of our student-athlete intelligence level." (Other students claim this is a fake, btw.)...

If Anyone Went To DePaul University, Please Contact The I-Team
Or, me, rather: [email protected]. Your insights will be confidential. Current students are also welcome. As you were......

Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...

Your Final Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup
It's been a wild ride this past month, hasn't it? Let's take one last look at the goals from the third-place and final games of the World Cup with some assistance from music that isn't even close to being culturally sensitive....

Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....