si Page 880 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Wins The Courtship Of Bill Simmons
Bill Simmons is close to re-upping with ESPN, people familiar with the situation say, putting an end to speculation that he might head for a competitor or strike out on his own when his contract expires at year's end....
Visanthe Shiancoe Wants To Show The World He's More Than Just A Wagging Dong
Yahoo!'s Michael Silver does a double entendre-filled profile on Vikings' tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, who's working hard to overcome his internet long-comings....
Gene Simmons Kept His Love Gun In Holster With ESPN Makeup Gal, Suit Claims
Yes, they call him Dr. Love, but he didn't want to meet this ESPN makeup artist, Victoria Jackson, in the Ladies Room. It's Hotter Than Hell, in there. The Firehouse, though? That's fine....
Private Stache: LeBron Half-Naked In A Cornfield. We Are All Witnesses.
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
The Condom Follies. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Spoiler Prize For Best Individual Performance…
… Goes to… Lionel Messi! Yes, not long now until the season is totally over. Just a couple of minor cup competitions to wrap up....
Ex-Giant Brad Benson Is Greatest Ad Wizard Since Don Draper
Like many former athletes, New York Giant alumnus Brad Benson found a second career as a successful car dealer. Unlike most of them, however, he's made another name for himself as a filthy-minded, possibly unhinged radio pitchman....
World Cup Trash Talk Begins: Lionel Messi Is Coming For Your Women
We're about month away from the start of Soccerpocalypse 2010 and that means it's time for entire nations to start trading highly personal insults. Yes, even attempted seduction of another players ex-wife is fair game here....
Even More Pukey, Poopy, And Sexy Sorority Formal Action
Miami University's Alpha Xi Delta sorority has gotten themselves into some hot water of their own over their own outrageous, sex 'n' booze-infused soiree at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center this past March. [Cincinnati.com, Homer247.com]...
Robinho And Pals Dance Merrily Along To Beyoncé
You know how sometimes on Jonathan Ross they will show a clip solely to embarrass a guest? Normally something humiliating from their past, like an old school play, or a silly advert? Good, you do. Well done....
The Phillies Are Probably Stealing Signs. So What?
After the Rockies accused Philadelphia of using binoculars to steal signs from the bullpen, MLB checked the video, and sure enough, they issued the Phillies a warning. We don't really see the problem with this....
LeBron Plays Professional Basketball ... On Television!
If there was ever a night to own a wall of TVs that can each show their own channel....well, most nights are good for that, but it would be particularly helpful this evening. Let's the set the table:...
Bruins Fans Toss Epithets, Foodstuffs, Trojan-ENZ At Flyers Fan
All Adam Gonsiewski, a Simon Gagne jersey-owning Flyers fan, wanted to do was see his team win Game 5 against the Bruins. Instead he was pelted with various (unused?) prophylactics by the rowdy Beantown crowd. Like this one. [Crossing Broad via Philly.com]...
Eggheads Explain How To Take The Perfect Penalty
Football is all about physics, so, in many ways, Wayne Rooney isn't just a footballer, he's also a magnificent scientist. It is also, unfortunately, marred by biology — the most annoying of the sciences — from time to time....
This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....
Dallas Braden's Perfecto: A Musical Retrospective
Dallas Braden became the world's most notable mound-owning, finger-mustache-tattoo enthusiast on Sunday when he threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history. To celebrate, here are all 27 outs set to a song Braden undoubtedly likes. [Tune-age via The Misfits]...
Potato Chip Ad Manages To Titillate, Enrage Island Nation
Hunky Dory, an Irish potato chip syndicate, has come under fire for an ad series that claims they are "Proud Sponsors of Irish Rugby." That, and because the ads feature all the scantily-clad women's rugby action you could ask for....
The Tiger Woods Injury-Condition Flub You've Been Waiting For All Day
Tiger Woods' bulging disc has forced him to exit The Players Championship and occasioned a Freudian moment from one unfortunate Golf Channel reporter, who called the injury a "bulging dick." H/T Michael....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...
<em>The Blind Side</em> Is Cursed By A Home-Wrecking Demon
This is what the New York Daily News has suggested, due to some of the recent problems suffered by members of the cast of Michael Lewis's book-turned-sapfest. It's even ensnared Lawrence Taylor in its wickedness....